


Truth and Lies

by jhunieilarde



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:07:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 55,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhunieilarde/pseuds/jhunieilarde
Summary: Vera found out she's pregnant and just as she was about to tell Hamish about it, she learned what happened to Kepler...(it's quite heavy....you'll be the judge)
Relationships: Hamish Duke/Vera Stone, Lilith Bathory/Nicole Birch, Randall Carpio/Gabrielle Dupres
Comments: 62
Kudos: 101





	1. A Mistake

She should tell him the truth. Yes, he at least deserved to know, right? It’s the proper thing to do in this kind of situation but why can’t she bring herself to do so. She cannot use time as reason because they’re together most hours of the day. He must stay close to her especially inside the temple to cover for the fact that she lost her magic. If any of the disciples finds out the truth, it will reach the Council and she’ll be gone as Grand Magus and as part of the Order. There’s no place for magicless people in the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. Maybe it’s karma for all the things she’s done. Maybe Alyssa Drake was right about her. Maybe she’s no different than Edward Coventry after all. Even though she tried her best to be different from him, become a leader that does not resemble his leadership, she still failed in the end. If only Edward can see her now, he would definitely laugh at her face.

Hamish is always there with her but she can tell he’s mind is somewhere else. He makes sure to give his attention to her whenever she talks but she can feel him worrying about something. She tried asking once but he only told him about some Knights business. She did not push anymore. It’s enough for her to know that they don’t want her involved. What use can she be for them? She does not have any magic. She’s basically useless at this point. 

Hang on, she’s straying on a more important issue. She needs to tell him the truth. The past few weeks, she thought she’s just tired from the stress of keeping her secret, the stress of finding ways to get her magic back, the stress of keeping the Order together. Then, all the symptoms popped up like crazy. She recognized all of them which prompted her to buy a test. Her heart almost stopped when she saw two red lines on it. On top of everything else, it’s one thing she does not know how to deal with. Of course, she had been there before which is why she’s conflicted. Her rational brain tells her to not go through with it. She’s living in a world where danger is right next door and at her current state, she’s in no shape to bring a child into this world. Plus, she’s getting weaker. Without her magic, the magical illness that had been dormant in her is now up and awake, eating her up rather drastically. Pregnancy will speed up her inevitable demise.

At the same time, she wanted to be a mother again or at least in retrospect, she wanted to. She was robbed of that chance and now she’s been given another. It’s scary for her, no doubt about that, but she’s more stable now financially. She’s matured. She’s not the same teenager who’s scared about the idea of being a mother. She’s ready. But then again, all her dilemma contradicts with her wants.

Keeping in mind that it’s her body, her choice, she knows it’s only proper to let Hamish knows about the pregnancy. It is still his after all and though she’s a hundred percent sure he’s nowhere ready to become a father or the idea of it, it will be wrong not to tell him before she makes any kind of decision which brings her to her predicament: how to tell him the truth?

He’s been distracted lately, worried. What if telling him now is not the right time? The thing is, if she decides to terminate it, she must inform him right away as she’s nearing the deadline to do that. The more time she keeps the baby, the more of her strength and energy the illness will devour. She must make a choice and she must tell him now.

Her house is the only place she can think of to be the space to tell him her biggest secret. It’s safe from anyone who might listen and she feels comfortable if she’s in her own territory. He was on time. He brought her favorite wine and had informed her that he got a killer recipe he wants to try in her kitchen.

“We need to talk”, she blurted out of the blue.

He stopped on his tracks and looked down. Does he know? Does he notice something different with her? Do his werewolf senses can detect pregnancy?

“I know”, he muttered.

She frowned. If he already knows, it could make things easier on her part.

“Well…do you want to start?” she asked, urging him to tell her what he feels about it.

She needs to know so she can weigh in her options. Having the baby might kill her, or will definitely kill her, but if he wants it, she might continue with the pregnancy knowing that her child will be safe and taken care of by his or her father.

“I know I should have told you sooner and I should have been honest with you but…it’s not easy”, that she can understand. It was not easy as well for her and she already went through with it. Hamish is all new to the process, “I am leader of the Knights of St. Christopher and I have duties to fulfill”, and having a love child with the Grand Magus of the Order is not one of them, “My loyalty must be with them at all times”, she felt her heart being crushed. “That’s why I did not tell you about Kepler and the ritual…”

“What?” she snapped in a flash.

That is not at all what she’s expecting. Kepler has been missing for weeks now and no one has heard from her ever since. Maddox was forced to be sent in London after being left alone in the parking lot. She did not even think for one moment that the werewolves got anything to do with it. Kepler might be annoying and had always hated the wolves but killing her is far from Vera’s mind the werewolves were capable in doing.

“I thought you…” he stopped realizing his mistake. He thought she had found out about it. Now, it’s written all over her face that she knows nothing and he just told her. “Forget what I said”, he tried to save it but it’s too late.

“What about Kepler and a ritual?” she asked.

Forget the announcement. If they did what she thinks they did, they’re in much trouble than her pregnancy.

“The ritual needed to get Lilith out of hell requires a blood of a witch…”

“Please tell me you did not sacrifice Kepler in a ritual”, she cut in.

He does not need to answer. It’s all over his face. The guilt, the remorse, the sadness, the regret…all of them mixed in his eyes. She can already picture it. Kepler being dragged probably in the woods, being drained of her blood and then buried on an unmarked grave so her blood could be use as sacrifice. Her stomach turned. They may not always have seen each other eye to eye but she’s been her longest friend whether she likes it or not. Kepler was her friend and her foe. The image of her lifeless body and drained of blood was enough to send Vera running to her bathroom and poured her guts out into the toilet bowl.

“Vera”, he followed her and found Vera kneeling beside the bowl, throwing up.

Guilt washed up all over him. He has no idea what kind of relationship Vera had with Kepler but they’ve known each other for a very long time and eliciting this kind of reaction from her just from hearing what they’ve done is enough to inform him that they’re closer than colleagues at the Order.

Vera flushed the toilet and washed her face and her mouth on the sink. She’s lightheaded and completely spent. How on earth she’s going to tell him now that she’s carrying his child? He just told her that they had sacrificed Kepler on a ritual like she’s some sort of an animal they used on lessons. They needed a blood of a witch and they did not think twice and grabbed her and killed her. What’s the difference between her and Kepler? They’re both witches. If she’s not in town, who would they kidnap instead? They surely won’t touch Alyssa Drake. For that kind of ritual, they needed and actual witch and not acolytes and medicums and magistratus. They needed a real one which leaves her. Could Hamish have agreed to that? Would he be willing to sacrifice her for a fellow Knight?

‘I am leader of the Knights of St. Christopher and I have duties to fulfill’, he said…

In that moment, her mind made a snap decision. He does not deserve to know. How can she ever fool herself into thinking co-existing is possible? She thought by discovering that the Knights truly belonged to the Order will solve everything but she was wrong. She had been stupid to believe that at all. They’ll always be enemies no matter what. Kepler had been right. The werewolves may have been on their side once, but they will turn on them given the chance and they did. Kepler is dead so they can save one of their own. She recalled the night she was robbed. She and Hamish had fucked each other into oblivion before that and she let that slip. Now, the more she thinks about it, the more it made sense. She’s being used the whole time. If he finds out she’s pregnant, they can use it against her and the Order.

“…not once have I ever taught a spell or ritual in the temple which involves human sacrifice”, her voice is low and grave. “Necromancy is forbidden and downright evil. When I assumed the title of Grand Magus, I swore that it will be different than Edward Coventry’s reign. He had no qualms in sacrificing people around him for his personal gain. He had killed his own wife to get a portion of the Vade Maecum and he was willing to kill his own son to complete it. I thought I was leading an organization different from that and yet I inducted werewolves who did exactly just that right under my nose”, she expressed without looking at him.

Her eyes are fixed onto the sink.

“It’s not like that, Vera. I promise. We did not know. We were running out of time and we must time it with the closing of the eruption. We wanted to get Lilith back so badly and when we found out, it’s too late. It’s done”, he tried to explain but her ears won’t accept them.

“I remember telling you that I will deal with getting Ms. Bathory back from the Demon Realm. Didn’t I make that promise?” he recalled that she did. “If only you had waited, there won’t be need for a human sacrifice but no, what more can I expect from you and your friends? You never followed orders since day one. You found a way and took it for yourselves without thinking of consequences”,

She now turned to him with tears threatening to fall from her eyes. They’re not from sadness but from pain and anger.

“I fought for you, all of you. You all should have been dead by now but I fought against the Council to allow you to have a normal life. I inducted you into the Order and trusted you. I made a terrible mistake. I made a mistake and it cost me everything and it cost Kepler everything. I made a mistake. You’re a mistake. You’re all been playing me from the beginning. I was so fucking blind to see it”, she exclaimed.

“No, Vera. That’s not true. We’re not playing you. We may have been angry at first when we got our memories back but we know better now. We know why you have to do it. Tell me how to fix this. Tell me how to make it up. I will do anything”, he said.

She thought about a number of things. She’s so filled up with rage if she has magic she can actually kill him right now.

“Go away. From now on, you and your friends are no longer members of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose”,

“Vera, please don’t do this”, he pleaded.

“I should send someone to powder you but we both know that does not work in a long term with you dogs so I am giving you a chance to keep your memories. Go away from Belgrave and never ever return. I don’t want to see any of your faces in the campus or anywhere in Norwich. Refuse and I will not stop the Council from doing what they want with you”, she responded.

She’s kicking them out. 

“Don’t do this. I can’t leave you, especially now. Your magic…”

“…is not your concern, Mr. Duke”, he flinched at the use of his last name. “I’m done participating in your games. I already made the mistake of trusting you. I will not do it again. Take the offer and leave. I am done protecting you. Tomorrow at the Council meeting, I will announce of your dismissal and god only knows how much they’re eager to kill all of you. I am giving you a head start”, she continued.

She saw tears brimming in his eyes but she shoved whatever feelings she has for him in the deepest corner of her heart. This is no time to be emotional and weak. A lot has been ruined because she let emotion got the best of her. She became soft and the Order paid the price.

“…but I love you”, he muttered.

Tell him, a little voice in her head says.

“You should have thought of that before…” she replied.

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to be not alone this time around but as it has been established, it’s not going to happen.

“Don’t do this, please…I love you”, he repeated.

“Goodbye, Mr. Duke. I hope you make the right choice for your pack”, she replied and left.


	2. The Deal

At the Den, Hamish arrived too stunned to speak or notice his friends having a drinking party. Nicole is also there with them. Randall had poured him a drink but noticed that he’s distracted, distraught in fact.

“What happened?” Jack asked.

The joy died. They are now aware of Hamish’s sorrow.

“Vera found out about Kepler”, he announced.

“What? How?” Randall asked.

“She had asked me to go to her house and told me that we needed to talk. I thought she knew. She’s all serious and I had tried to explain to her why I did not tell her, that my loyalties lie with the Knights but it turned out she did not know and we’re thinking of completely different things…”

“…and you spilled everything”, Lilith supplied.

“The whole story actually made her threw up in her bathroom”, Hamish shared, recalling how badly she reacted to it.

“What now? Is she sending an army here to kill me?” Randall asked.

“No”, they frowned, there must be a punishment in the air. “She kicked us all out of the Order”, Hamish answered.

It elicited a gasp from both Gabrielle and Nicole who were both members of the Order first.

“What?” Gabrielle exclaimed in full panic.

“All of the Knights, so Nicole is safe. She will not send anyone to erase our memories because she knew it’s not going to last but she wants us to be gone from Norwich by tomorrow. She will announce to the Council tomorrow of our dismissal and whatever action the Council wanted to take, it’s out of her hands. She said she’s done protecting us”, Hamish explained.

Randall scoffed.

“Protecting us? We’re in this mess because of her”, he retorted.

“That’s not true. The Council wanted us dead and she protected us by suggesting taking our memories away. She kept us alive and us being inducted to the Order is the only thing preventing the Council from touching us”, Jack disagreed.

Deep down, they all knew that. 

“Well, what now? Are we going to leave?” Lilith asked.

She just got back from Demon Realm and adjusting to being back on earth and now she must adjust to moving to another environment. She does not approve of the methods used in bringing her back but she’s grateful nonetheless.

“Maybe we can still talk to the Grand Magus, convince her to change her mind, anything than sending us on exile”, Gabrielle suggested.

She values being part of the Order so much and she cannot imagine being kicked out of it and Belgrave. They had not realized that being put on exile also meant being kicked out of the school and Vera is the Chancellor of the university.

“I am not sure she will listen to us right now. She’s beyond angry”, Hamish muttered.

The fury in her eyes earlier will be forever engrave in his mind. She’s disappointed and terribly angry.

“We can still try. We can negotiate, make a deal. We cannot just give up. This is our mess and not hers. She’s entitled to react the way she did. We need to try”, Jack replied.

\---------------------------------

That night, she had cried herself to sleep, if anyone can call that a sleep. It’s not even an hour of sleep. She went straight to the bathroom to shower when the sun made an appearance at her window. She felt utterly and weak and exhausted to move but she has to because she got an early meeting at the school. She put on her usual get up and drove to Belgrave campus. It’s all about budget and she was glad they were able to finish before noon. She had popped pills for migraine to help her get going for the day. It’s getting frequent now and her doctor had been calling regarding an appointment she had missed. She must decide what she intends to do with the pregnancy. Hamish is officially out of the picture. The idea of bringing the baby into this world is getting slimmer in her mind. When it kills her, who will be there for her child? She cannot entrust the wolves after what they’ve done. Who knows what else they’re capable in doing? What if they need to perform another ritual which would require to sacrifice a child? They seemed to have no qualms in dwelling with necromancy. The possibility is endless.

The thought of terminating the pregnancy feels like million knives being stabbed at her chest. She hates the idea but what other choice does she have?

Vera went to the temple for her Grand Magus duties when she found Jack already waiting for her in her office. If she only has her magic, she would have kicked her out.

“Shouldn’t you be running away from Norwich, Mr. Morton?” she asked as she put her things on her desk.

“I was hoping that we can talk. I owe a lot of explanation to you”, he said.

Vera scoffed.

“You did not bother before. Why bother now? Oh, I see…because you’re about to lose something and you thought, ‘hey, let’s talk to the Grand Magus. We need her this time’. Is that why you’re here? If that’s what it is, you’re wasting your time. I am done helping you”, she snapped.

He felt a pang of guilt. She had been backing him up from the beginning. He’s aware that it was her who’s responsible for granting his scholarship at Belgrave. Alyssa had told him that Margaret Crain was against it but Vera pushed it. She took a chance on him and all he brought to the Order is chaos which almost cost her life.

“I’m sorry”, he said with utmost sincerity.

He really is. At first, all he wanted was revenge on Coventry. He did not want any collateral damage and his anger was misplaced when she took his memories away. It was too late when he realized it was to protect them and not to punish them. By that time, they had already wreaked havoc to the Order by stealing her inventory and the latter being stolen from them by Praxis. They almost caused a war between the Order and the Sons of Prometheus. He got Vera removed at being Grand Magus when she allowed Xavier and his group got into her brain so she could save his life. His allowances on Alyssa forced him to persuade Vera to enter parley with Salvador which almost killed her. It forced Vera to kill Salvador which angered Alyssa who then stole Vera’s magic as revenge. It all comes back to him. He is certain that she regrets taking a chance on him now. 

“Your apology will not undo the things you did, Mr. Morton. Save yourself while you still can”, she muttered without looking at him.

Underneath the anger, he detected a hint of disappointment and sadness.

“We accept being removed from the Order but don’t announce it to the Council”, she looked up at him. “If you don’t want to see us, we will stay out of your way. Please…we cannot leave our life in Belgrave. We promise to stay out of the Order’s way”, he proposed.

That almost made her laugh.

“I don’t think you’re in a position to demand, Mr. Morton”, she spat.

Jack put the Vade Maecum on top of her desk. It shut her up in an instant.

“I thought about using that when I found it in her bag. I thought about bringing her back but just as I was about to do it, I heard your voice telling me not to become my father and it kept me from doing another stupid thing. You can have it back. I know it’s our duty to guard the book for our Grand Magus but I also know you don’t trust us right now so this is to prove that you can still trust us, we give you back the book and it’s the real one. I can rip it in front of you if you like. All I ask in return is to protect us one last time. Don’t let the Council kill us, Vera”, he offered.

Her eyes got glued to the book. He does not have to bring it back. She did not ask for it when Alyssa died, only the Fors Factoram. A part of her wanted to trust him again but after everything, trusting Jack Morton did not really serve her well.

“Werewolves cannot really stay out of the Order’s business”, she stated.

They will always have that magic alarm.

“If we interfere, kill us”, he proposed.

It seemed sensible. Perhaps, she can make up something to explain why the Knights will no longer be seen inside the temple. 

“Just remember, this is your proposal. You interfere, you die”, she reiterated.

“Yes, Grand Magus”, he affirmed.

“Very well, Mr. Morton. You succeeded in getting your way. You and your friends are now fired from being disciples of this Order. If anyone asks why you’re not being seen at the temple, your answer will simply be that your assignment entails guarding the campus from threats. That way, we can avoid internal conflicts and projects that image of co-existing. You are not to set foot in this temple, all of you. You are not to meddle with our business. Follow the rules and you’ll get to live”, she enumerated.

“What about Nicole and Gabrielle?” he asked.

She sighed. Nicole is romantically involved with Lilith while Gabrielle is now a Knight.

“Ms. Birch is free to be with whoever she pleases but she must know her loyalty will be questioned if something arises. With Ms. Dupres, as unfortunate as it is, she is now a Knight and our agreement involved all of you werewolves”, she answered.

It’s as good as they can get other than being hunted down and killed by the Council.

“Deal”, he agreed.

“Now leave and I hope we never see each other again, Mr. Morton”, she said with finality.

He reluctantly left her office after he took one last look at the Grand Magus. Even she does not want to see say it and even if their mental connection is gone, he can see how much this hurts her. She really did believe that everything will be alright after their problem with Praxis. She believed that Knights and the Order will finally be on the same side but they let her down and it came down to this.

When Jack had left the temple, Vera’s eyes fell onto the book on her desk. Once upon a time, she felt the overwhelming temptation of it but now, she feels nothing. It has no appeal to her. She ran her fingers on its cover and flipped it in the middle section. She had it for months. She knows every inch of the Vade Maecum, every spell, every incantation. 

“Amissa reducere. Date mihi quod meum est”, she muttered as she traced the symbols with her nails on its page.

The symbols on the paper lit up and so her eyes. She eyed the door and it closed. She took a deep breath and closed the book. Her magic is back but it’s not without consequences. It is true she can perform magic without sacrifice but she had been without magic for some time. It’s hard to run away from Fors Factoram claiming what’s due for a long time. She had cheated death. She may not be able to anymore.

At least now, she no longer needs Hamish to be there with her all the time to do magic for her but now, her time is ticking. Each time she will use magic even just to open the door will contribute in speeding up her death. A thought came to mind. If she’s going to die anyway, what’s stopping her from telling Hamish about the pregnancy? She made up her mind into terminating it. She would rather kill her own child than allowed the werewolves take charge. God knows what they’re capable of doing with her child. She should tell him, just to spite. She’s desperate enough to inflict pain upon him just as he had hurt her with his actions, whether conscious or not. If she terminates now, she might get to live for at least a year or two even three. If she continues the pregnancy, she might die before the baby’s born. The choice is already made for her.

With a wave of her hand, the Vade Maecum had been absorbed by her desk, hidden from sight. She then grabbed her phone and texted Hamish:

‘Meet me at the house. We need to talk’

After that, she can proceed to the clinic and get it over with. She’s good at losing everyone anyway. She looked at the door as she walked towards it.

“Fuck it”, she cursed and waved her hand, opening it, to hell with the price.


	3. The Talk

“She agreed just like that?” Lilith asked when Jack had informed them that Vera is no longer telling the Council about their dismissal as disciples.

They were aware of his plan to negotiate for their lives with her using the Vade Maecum but they did not expect him to succeed. Hamish had reassured them that she’s beyond forgiving their mistakes.

“Yes but all of us Knights are dismissed from being disciples”, his eyes focused on Gabrielle who is holding back her tears, “If anybody ask why we’re not seen at the temple, we say our assignment is to look out for any danger outside. Our role is to guard and therefore, we’re not needed inside the temple. We cannot interfere with any of the Order’s business no matter what it is. If we broke that rule, we’re dead. No more negotiations”, he explained.

That means if the Order or any of its members decided to use magic for something bad, they cannot take matters into their own hands no matter how loud the ringing is in their ears. 

“What about Nicole?” Lilith asked again.

“Vera says Nicole is free to be with whoever she wants to be with but if something comes up, her loyalty will be the first one to be in question because of her association with us”, Jack answered.

It’s enough for Lilith and Nicole although Gabrielle could not help but feel a pang of jealousy. Nicole gets to remain in the Order while she has been kicked out because she’s a werewolf now. She is thrilled to have a family where she can be included and accepted but she hates that she has to lose being a disciple for it.

“I guess it’s better than leaving and being hunted down for the rest of our lives”, Randall muttered.

Jack was quiet. He is still troubled by his conversation with Vera. In his guts, he can feel that something is wrong. Is it possible to cause more pain on Vera than they already had? His eyes landed on Hamish who is trying to get himself drunk but his tolerance is too high for his pace. He has not said a word since he returned. Jack can tell that he loves Vera. He got the same look on his face just as he used to have with Alyssa. From what the others had informed him, Vera is the first woman to get through to him after Cassie and now he had lost her as well because of their recklessness. He is not sure which is worse: to lose someone you love because of death or to lose someone you love because of betrayal? 

For Jack, death is much easier to accept. Death is something no one can do about so one has no choice than to accept it and move on. Whereas, losing someone who is not dead because of mistrust and betrayal is so much harder because you constantly wish to reverse time to make it right, you constantly ask for forgiveness, for another chance but you get to see the pain you’ve caused on the person you love. You get to see that every single day. You live everyday knowing she’s out there hurting because of you. Though one thing is different between the two. Vera is not dead. With life comes hope. It is not too late for Hamish to try. It will not be easy. Vera is not an easy one to crack and it took Hamish a lot of work to get her to trust him the first time. That effort will not only be doubled but tripled if he wants her to trust him again.

Occupied by overwhelming guilt and sadness, Hamish snapped out of them when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He wished to ignore it but something tells him not to so he took it out and read the message. It’s Vera. She wants him to go to her house to talk. Was it a glimmer of hope he felt? He certainly has not expected for her to reach out. The last time they spoke, she did not want anything to do with him. He quickly got up and grabbed his coat.

“Where are you going?” Randall asked.

“Out”, is the only thing he was able to say.

Jack, however, saw the message. It gave him hope as well. Maybe Vera decided to give him another chance. Maybe she decides to listen to his explanation. He wished that she would. Hamish was not aware of Randall’s action during the ritual. None of them were but he was forced to cover for him and protect him because it was his duty as their leader. It came out as betrayal but he could not blame Hamish either.

\---------------------------------

Hamish was careful when he got in Vera’s house. Her car was parked outside so she has to be there. He thought about it being a trap but if she wants him dead, he will be already.

“Vera?” he called.

He heard sound of glass from the kitchen. There she is drinking by the kitchen counter. Her eyes fixed on him, ready and alert. It breaks his heart a little to see how much she’s in defense mode in his presence. He will never hurt her. He already did but not in the way she’s thinking right now. 

“Sit”, she ordered as the chair behind him glided across the floor and bumped on his calves forcing him to bend his knees and slumped on the chair.

Hamish did not know what to make of it. Did she just move the chair with her mind? She lost her magic. How was she able to do that? She tapped her nails against the glass she’s clutching.

“You got your magic back. How?” he asked.

“I recited a spell from the Vade Maecum”, she answered like it’s nothing.

Is it why she agreed to make a deal with Jack? She knew where it was and who’s keeping it after Alyssa died but she never asked for it. If she’s interested with the book, she would have demanded Jack to return it.

“Just like that? We’ve searched everything for a way to get your magic back and just like that you stumbled upon a spell on the Vade Maecum which restored your magic?” he could not believe that it’s all coincidence.

“I have always known the spell was in that book, Mr. Duke. I just chose not to use it but since I don’t have much of a choice and clearly there’s no other way to get my magic back, I was forced to do it”, she explained coldly.

It has a price. It must be the reason why she did not want to use it before. What about Fors Factoram? She did perform it before. Isn’t it supposed to allow the user to do magic without sacrifice?

“What’s the price?” he asked again.

She gave him a cold stare. Of course, he’s familiar with that. Every spell has a price.

“That would be none of your business”, she answered and downed the entire scotch. “…and it’s not why I asked you to come here. There’s something I must tell you and I better get on with it. I am pregnant”, she announced.

His jaw almost hit the floor. He heard her right. He did and yet he cannot bring himself to believe it.

“You’re pregnant”, he repeated.

“Yes, I am and in case you have doubt, you’re the father”, she confirmed.

Of course, he is the father. Vera hadn’t had any other relationship or partner for that matter other than him. He has no doubts about the paternity of the child. He was just rather caught off guard by the news but just as the shock subsided, it was replaced with joy. He is not one to dream of settling down and starting a family. He had long accepted that having kids is not for him, not with the kind of life he leads but now, with Vera, he can see it. The idea thrilled him. It excites him. He can picture him running after little Hamish and little Vera on a backyard of a country home. It’s a good picture.

“Wow…I’m going to be a father”, he muttered in happiness.

Her face did not falter. 

“You’re not going to”, he turned to her in disbelief. “I am going to terminate this pregnancy. I am only telling you this as courtesy. After all, it was your sperm that made this happen but it’s still my body and I got the final say”, she said.

That’s the moment wherein he felt almost nothing. His whole body went limp and cold. She’s not going through with it. He finally welcomed the idea of being a parent and she shattered that within seconds. He looked at her eyes and they’re staring right back at his with so much rage. Is she really that angry with him that she’s willing to end the life of their child before it even begins?

“No”, he found himself saying.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“I said no”, he repeated.

“I don’t recall asking for permission”, she snapped.

“…and I am still saying no. You’re not killing our child because you’re angry with me”, he still thinks it’s about him, “…if you want to punish someone, let it be me but not an innocent, unborn child. That’s low even for you”, he exclaimed as he rose from the chair.

Now back on his feet, he is taller than her and Vera does not like the height difference. She does not want to feel small in front of him so she moved the chair again and forced him to sit.

“I said sit”, she hissed.

Hamish got back on his feet to spite her. She got every right to be mad at him but she’s not going to win in terminating the pregnancy. He will not let her.

“You’re not killing our child”, he reiterated.

In her rage, she had sent him flying across the kitchen and he hit his back against the wall. Hamish groaned and then growled in pain. His eyes lit up in silver as his fangs showed up. It took everything he has to stop Tundra from retaliating. 

“It’s not up for discussion, Hamish. I told you. It is my decision”, she said.

“I will not let you, Vera. Do what you want with me but not that”, he replied as he got back on his feet.

This is not going well as she had hoped. She succeeded in hurting him with the news but she did not expect him to fight and argue with her. She thought he did not want to be a father but now he seemed like he does. 

‘Don’t let yourself be fooled again’, she said to herself. ‘Think about how he used you, sacrificed your friend. What can’t he do to your child when you’re gone?’

“Well, it does not really matter much what you want, Hamish. I can still do it whether you agree or not. I never needed your permission”, she informed him.

He growled in frustration and she had waved her hand to make him stepped back.

“Vera”,

“Don’t come any closer”, she warned.

“I am not here to hurt you. Just think this through is all I am asking. Don’t decide in haste”, he explained and took another step.

She pushed him back again.

“I said don’t come any closer”, she repeated but he kept on going and she kept on pushing him back up until the nausea hits her.

Fuck! Not now…she thought.

She’s been using magic since he walked in and it’s weakening her. It’s like she’s a battery charging a human being inside of her while the illness is draining her. Her use of magic is draining her faster. She failed to push him away and he reached right before her legs give in. Hamish caught her and felt how cold she is.

“Vera, talk to me”, he said but she’s not responding.

Her eyes are glassy and she’s pale as a paper. Slowly, blood came out of her nose and it sent him to panic.

“Vera, what’s happening?!” he exclaimed but she only looked at him.

He fumbled in his pocket to get his phone. She watched him call for an ambulance and gave her address. She saw the fear in his eyes as well as the panic and concern. Maybe he’s telling the truth…maybe he was put in between of his duty as leader of the Knights and being with her. She could at least understand what it’s like to make hard choices as a leader. Did she read him wrong? The tears that fell from his eyes told her that she did.

“Do you really want to be a father?” she asked weakly.

“Yes, Vera. I do…with our child”, he answered with a smile.

Well, plans had changed. The question is whether she’ll make it to term or she’ll die before that time comes.


	4. Come Clean

The doctor has confirmed that she is indeed pregnant. He told Hamish that it’s early which means it’s the delicate stage of her pregnancy. He was advised on all the things to avoid and what food she should be eating. Hamish took it all like a pro. He has a very good memory so remembering the instructions is easy. He had called Jack to let them know he’s not coming to the Den tonight. He must stay with her and monitor her condition closely, make sure she’ll be okay. Of course, he had not told Jack that she’s pregnant. She almost killed him earlier and if she’s able to hold back then, she will definitely murder him if he announces her pregnancy to the world.

When Vera comes to, she’s surprisingly calm. She’s aware that Hamish is right beside her but she takes her time staring at the ceiling. She needs time which is something she does not have a lot at the moment, or ever. What the hell was she thinking? She knew the consequences of her using magic will only speeds up her demise and she went on got drunk and kept on using it on Hamish like the fool she is. Now, she had changed her mind when it comes to her pregnancy and she may not even make it through the end of the month. Why is it that regret always comes at the end?

“What did the doctor say?” she asked without looking at him.

“He said you’re definitely pregnant”, she rolled her eyes, “…and that it’s early so you need to be extra careful. He wants you to rest more and eat more healthy foods. He advised on avoiding stress as much as possible. I know it’s almost impossible but I think we can work something out”,

She stared at him as he rants about the future, something that’s a blur for her eyes.

“I already called Jack and told him I will not coming to the Den tonight. I know you would not want me to stay at your house but I can stay on the couch or in my car, if you like. I just want to be close in case you need anything. I can cook. I am a good cook. I also would like to put a lock on your liquor cabinet for the meantime. No cocktails for you until the baby is born”, 

When he stopped, he saw the tears brimming in her eyes. Alarm sets in.

“Did I say something?” he’s worried he had upset her which might cause additional stress, “I should not impose like that. I am just worried and I assured the doctor that I will make sure you will take care of yourself”, he explained.

Vera chuckled and wiped the tears that had escaped her guard.

“You sound more nervous than I am”, she noted.

Hamish laughed at that too. He is nervous. In fact, he is scared. He knows nothing of having a baby other than the process of making it. He had not had enough time to research about it but it’s one of the things he will do once they got out of the hospital. He’s an only child as well so he basically had no reference in taking care of babies. It does not help that he thinks his own father is not a good example for parenthood.

“I am but it’s good. I am thrilled, actually. I know the baby will not be here for months but I am already thinking of names and toys and clothes and all of baby stuff”, he admitted.

She laughed some more and as she did, tears ran more freely from her eyes down her cheek. At first, he thought it’s because of joy but soon, he felt it’s different. They’re not tears of joy. It felt more like sadness and sorrow. He suddenly recalled about her daughter. He had not thought of that since she told him about the pregnancy. It was not a good experience for her. It did not occur to him that maybe this pregnancy reminded her of the pain of losing her daughter before. Maybe it’s the reason why she wanted to terminate the pregnancy before it’s too late, because she did not want to go through that again.

“Hey”, his fingers wiped her tears that he can managed because they keep on falling, “I am here, Vera. I am not going anywhere no matter how hard you throw me against the wall with your magic. I will not leave you. I’m in this…all in”, he reassured her.

He will make sure that it will not be the same for her. He will not abandon her. He will be there through thick and thin and he will take care of her and their child. He will be a good father.

“I don’t question that”, she muttered as she tries to control her sobbing.

Hamish frowned.

“What then? What’s bothering you? Tell me, please”, he asked.

Could she tell him now? At the back of her mind, she knows if he is asked to choose between her and the baby, he will choose her. Is she ready to subject him to that kind of burden? He’s not indifferent to killing but terminating an innocent child he fought for earlier? That might kill him inside. If she had thought of that earlier when she was seething with rage, that might be a good idea. It’s perfect to get back at him, to hurt him, to break him. Now, that she found out how much he wants to be a father to their child, she does not want that anymore. Her time on earth is a big question mark in itself. How does she expect herself to be as excited as he is? Isn’t she just prolonging the agony by going through with it? Increasing the disappointment? 

“Hospital…that’s what bothering me. I want to get out of here”, she lied.

Of course, he saw right through that but he did not push. She’s just beginning to talk to her without the arguing and anger. He does not want to disappear.

“Let me see what I can do about that”, he said and left the room to talk to the doctor.

Vera sat up despite her head protesting. She needs to move because if she remains still, she will breakdown. Without magic’s aid, she pulled her drip from her hand and changed to her clothes. By the time Hamish and the doctor returned, she’s all dressed up and ready to go. The doctor was annoyed but Hamish promised he will look after her and will call if something happens. 

\---------------------------------

They were forced to get a cab since they both came to the hospital via ambulance. Both of their cars are back at her place. He was careful with her as they went in her house although he’s mindful not to make her feel coddled. She hates being treated like that. She had told him she’s not hungry but he still made some soup for her so she can take her medicine afterwards. She did not protest but it took time before she was able to finish it. 

Ever since they arrived back home, she has been contemplating whether to tell him the truth or not. She knows it will be unfair for him if she made him think that they could actually have future as a family. The baby might make it but she definitely will not, not at the rate her body is degrading. There were number of spells they can use to extend her life but as soon as she gives birth, it’s done. She will not survive that. As they sat by the fireplace, Hamish had put a blanket around her to keep her warm because he knows how cold she is.

“There’s something I had not told you”, she started. He turned to her so he can listen carefully. “That night you told me about Kepler, I was about to tell you about the pregnancy. I wanted your opinion on how to proceed. Termination had always been one of my options. I did not set upon it because I was angry with you. It’s not to punish you. I wouldn’t go that far for revenge, not if I can help it. The thing is, I am dying”,

His breath came to a halt.

“The cancer brought on by Fors Factoram has been activated when I lost my magic. Avoiding performing heavy magic without sacrifice had rendered it dormant. When Alyssa Drake stole my magic, it was activated. Sustaining another life inside of me only contributes to it. That’s why I was considering ending it”, she revealed.

He blinked a few times, forcing his brain to work.

“…but you have your magic back. You can put the cancer back to sleep now, can’t you?” he asked with so much uncertainty.

“No, I can’t. I have been without magic for quite a time. I got my magic back using a spell powered by Fors Factoram. Now, each time I use it, my clock ticks faster”,

“You’ve used magic earlier…a lot”, he recalled.

“That I did. I was so sure I will end this pregnancy before I talked to you. I just wanted to tell you to hurt you, letting you know and then informed you it will not happen. Without the baby, I might still last up to three years maximum if I am careful with magic. If I continue with this, I can try to make it to term but I will not get to live to see what our baby will look like”, she answered.

He turned to the fire. How to process that? Earlier in the day, he was drowning in guilt and regret for betraying Vera. Then, he found out his going to be a father and then rushed her to the hospital. Now, he found out she’s going to die whether she continues with the pregnancy or not. The former will ensure it faster. He will lose her either way. That’s why she was keen on terminating it before and like an idiot, he managed to change her mind and now he will lose her faster for that.

The idea of going with her initial plan occurred to him. It will give her three more years which means he will have three more years to find a way to cure her from the magical cancer she has but he cannot even finish that thought without feeling sick to his stomach. He cannot do that. He cannot choose to kill an innocent child. He also cannot lose her just like that.

“Isn’t there a spell we can do to cure you? Any kind of spell? I am prepared to pay whatever price there will be”, he asked in desperation.

If he has to sacrifice a lot of people, he will do it. He suddenly understood why Randall had done what he did with Kepler. It’s what he felt in that moment, the desperation. He is feeling it now. He is willing to kill for Vera and their unborn child.

“I’m sorry, Hamish, but there’s no such thing as cure for Fors Factoram. It’s an equivalent to deal with the devil. I knew the price when I performed it. It’s collecting its due”,

He shook his head. It can’t end like this.

“You said, you wanted to be a father. I can still give that to you. It will not be easy as you will be alone. I will not be able to help you. I just want to make sure that you really want this because there will be no turning back, Hamish. This baby will need you”, she said.

He tried to imagine a different picture. A picture of him running after a child without Vera watching over them from the backdoor. It felt wrong. All of it felt wrong.

“Our child will need his mother”, he stated.

She smiled.

“I know but it’s something I can’t give. Believe me. I want to but I can’t”, she replied.

She cannot explain how painful for her to admit that. There’s no way for her to win in this situation. The only consolation she can have is the thought that her child will have a great father and he will not be alone in this world. 

“I don’t accept that. I will not accept that. There has to be something. There has to be a way to get through this without you dying”, he refused.

“If there was, don’t you think I would have found it by now? I have been living with this illness half of my life, Hamish. I had searched every book, artifacts, I can find. There’s just nothing. As much as I would like to refuse the truth, I can’t. I’m going to die, Hamish. We must start accepting that now so it will not be harder when the time comes”, she explained.

That’s not good enough for him. He cannot lose another love of his life…not again. He was not able to fight before but he will certainly fight for Vera now. 

“Alright…we do it your way, Vera. Whatever you want”, he agreed for the sake of ending the conversation.

He’s not about to give up just like that. Even if she does not want to look for cure anymore, he will find one for her. Their child will have his mother. He will make sure of that even if must give up his own life for it.

“Thank you and for what it’s worth, it helps to know that you will be there for our kid. I wouldn’t go through with this if I knew our baby will be alone”, she said.

“He won’t be. I promise”, he muttered and pulled her into his arms.

This is not going to be their end. Vera deserved so much. He will not let a magical cancer beats her. He will find a way and if he can’t, he will make one.


	5. Research

Vera had allowed him to stay the night. He wrapped his arms around her as she sleeps but he remained awake. He could not bring himself to close his eyes thinking that when he opens them, she will be gone. He wants to frame the moment, Vera in his arms, carrying their child. It’s something he never knew he wanted and needed. Life has already taken someone he loved from him and he will not allow it to do the same to her, not when they’re so close to having a happy life.

Of course, finding a cure for her is not something he can get from a drug store. It’s no wonder Vera did not want him to make such promise he will not be able to keep but he’s determined. Maybe the answer does not lie within the books of the Order. She had said that she scoured everything in the Order’s possession for a possible cure and she found none. That’s not the only place to search. The Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose is not the only magical society in the world. There could be hundreds. Plus, the Knights of St. Christopher alone got a lineage of history in its belt. If Fors Factoram goes way back, he is certain their history can compete with it.

“Are you going to tell the others about the baby?” she asked when the morning came.

They’re still in each other’s arms on her bed, unable to let go of the moment, to let it go.

“Do you want me to?” he asked.

“I cannot let you do this alone and I know for a fact that you consider them as your family so I guess I have no choice on the matter. It does not mean though that you’re all reinstated at the Order. I stand by my decision”, she answered.

He can understand. What they did was still wrong no matter the change in their situation. He is just glad that she’s no longer shutting him out.

“I can already see a drinking celebration in our child’s honor”, he muttered, picturing Randall hosting the said event.

Vera grimaced. It’s always the werewolves’ way of dealing with everything, alcohol.

“Please promise me you will not influence that kind of behavior on our kid. I swear to you, I will climb up from my grave and kill you if you turn our child into an alcoholic”, 

It would have been funny if the grave part was not included. She realized that too as soon as it left her lips. That is still a sore subject for the both of them. She is aware of his reluctance to accept her upcoming death. Rubbing it onto his face is not going to help.

“Well, we better get ready. I have a school and a secret organization to run and you have class and a pack to…I don’t know…supervise”, she said as she separates herself from him.

She already felt her body protests from the lack of warmth but he has to continue living his life. He must learn how to keep on going because he will not have a choice once she’s gone. He needs to learn how to be emotionally strong if he hopes to raise their child. 

“The doctor said you need to rest”, he reminded her.

“I will be careful, Dr. Duke”, she gave him a playful smirk, “…besides, I am taking my vitamins on time and I promise to eat accordingly. I’ll be fine”, she assured him.

She’s one to forget vitamins and lunch hour. He knows she’s bound to forget those today but forcing her to stay at home will only stress her out. She will be just thinking about work and Order duties while in bed and she will be frustrated which will not be good at all.

“Alright…but I’m driving you to campus”, he proposed.

Vera sighed. It’s the compromise she must make. She knows it will raise eyebrows to see the Chancellor getting out of the car of one of the teacher aids early in the morning. In a few months, she will start showing so might as well start up the rumors now so it will not come as shock to all that they’re together. Are they? The concept is lost to her. It’s been so long since she last had a relationship and that went down the toilet drain. Since then, it’s been all about flings and hook ups here and there. It worked well for her…up until Hamish Duke. She thought he’s going to be one of those flings she used to have but it turned out quite differently. She began to care and she fell for him. Now, she’s carrying his child. Fate can be a bitch sometimes. Just when she found the right man to settle with, to connect, to love, she’s about to die. What’s crueler than that? To allow her have a taste of what it could have been and have the knowledge that she can never have that. It’s the worst fate anyone could have and she’s the lucky one.

\-------------------------------

After she brought Vera to Belgrave, he drove back to the Den where everyone was waiting for him. He realized they had been messaging him all night thinking of the worst. Someone had seen him at the hospital yesterday and they thought he had an accident or had been killed.

“So where were you?” Lilith asked impatiently.

“I was with Vera at her house”, he answered bluntly.

She did give him permission to tell them the truth but he did not plan it to be this straightforward.

“Did something happen to her? Is that why you were at the hospital?” Jack was quick to ask.

He did sense something was wrong with her the last time they spoke. What if they had done something that affected her?

“She collapsed while we were arguing at her house. Her nose started bleeding and I panicked so I called an ambulance”, he answered.

That elicited a concerned gasp from Gabrielle and Nicole.

“…and?” Jack urges.

“Vera got her magic back. She got it from the Vade Maecum and she knew all along that the book can give it back to her”, Hamish went on.

“…and she did not because she likes to keep you around?” Randall supplied.

“No. She did not because it has a consequence. Years ago, Vera had performed the Fors Factoram herself”,

“Wait. The incantation that the Praxis wanted, the one that will allow a practitioner to perform spells without sacrifice?” Lilith asked.

“Yes, that’s the one. She did not tell me why but the price of that incantation is the life of the one who performed it. It brought on a magical cancer which would kill anyone who would perform it. Vera had managed to evade death by sticking to sacrifices. It had put the illness dormant as she did magic by the book. When Alyssa stole her magic, that cancer was activated. She had hoped to find another way to get her magic back but there’s none. She was forced to use the Vade Maecum after she had kicked us all out so she wouldn’t need me to do spells for her”,

“So, what’s so bad about that?” Gabrielle asked.

“Using magic no matter how small will speed up the cancer’s progression. Yesterday when we were arguing, she had used magic, consecutively. I did not know about the consequence and she only told me after we got out of the hospital”, Hamish answered.

His mind still could not believe all of it but it does not mean they were not true.

“So, Vera is dying…” the because of me part left unsaid from Jack but Hamish caught it.

“That’s not all”, they looked at him. “She’s also pregnant”, they are now beyond stunned.

“A baby werewolf!” Randall exclaimed.

Hamish wanted to celebrate that fact but he could not bring himself to do so, not with the looming death around it.

“What’s the matter, Hamish? You’re not the father?” Lilith asked when she sensed his worry.

He scoffed at that.

“Paternity is not in question”, he sighed. “The pregnancy is also speeding up the cancer’s progression. It’s taking a lot from her to sustain a life inside her while she’s battling the illness at the same time. That’s why we argued yesterday. She wanted to terminate the pregnancy and I disagreed. When she realized that I wanted the baby, she decided to go through with it even though she is certain that she will not be able to see our child. There’s a chance she will not make it to term but she said there are spells that can prolong her time but the delivery is sure to kill her”, he answered.

The entire house went silent. Now they feel his predicament. He’s left to choose between Vera and their child and it’s not much of a choice because he will still lose Vera even if he chooses her. They are all aware of Cassie story. It’s all happening again and they don’t know how to help him.

“Tell me you’re not going to be okay with all of that”, Hamish turned to Jack. “I know Vera had insisted that you let it go and make peace with it. She would want you to focus on the baby but tell me you’re not going to just let her die without a fight”, he added.

There’s that determination in Jack’s eyes. He failed to save Alyssa from magic, from herself, but he will be damned if he does not try and help save Vera, the woman who risked everything to give him the best opportunity he could ever have in life. He must do something.

“I will not let her die without a fight”, Hamish muttered.

“Good. Now that we’re not needed at the temple for cleaning duties, we got more time in our hands for research”, Jack announced.

“…for what?” Randall asked.

“…for anything that will help Vera. She had already saved our asses multiple times and she continued to do so. It’s time we save hers”, Jack answered.

Gabrielle was first to get up.

“I’m in. I may be a Knight now but I am a disciple first and she’s my Grand Magus”, she stated.

“Well, I am a disciple and she’s my Grand Magus so yeah, count me in as well”, Nicole seconded.

Lilith smiled at her and shook her head.

“I guess that includes me”, she muttered.

Randall was the only one left to decide. He had always conflicted feelings towards Vera. He had started trusting her after they defeated Coventry but that small trust was shattered when his memories were taken. He failed to try rebuilding that trust since they were inducted but he could not deny her efforts in keeping them alive. She knows it was him who killed Kepler. It would be easy for her to single him out and save the rest but she did not. He still owes her his life.

“Alright, alright…I’m in too no matter how much I hate reading”, he gave up.

A smile formed on Hamish’ lips. Vera was right about him considering them as his family. He knew that no matter what, they will always be there for him.

“So, where do we start?” Gabrielle asked.

Hamish and Jack had taken them all at the basement. The two wolves pushed the wall and it revealed a secret room filled with super old books and diaries.

“Oh my god…” Nicole muttered while Gabrielle tried her best not to sneeze.

“I am thinking this is the best place to start our research. They’re centuries old so there has to be something there about Fors Factoram and how to work around it”, Jack introduced.

Hamish knew about the room but he never thought he would need it this bad. If he has to stay there 24/7 making his eyes bleed in reading, he would for Vera.

“I hate reading but maybe I can also find something about my hide”, Lilith expressed.

Nicole had already dug in. She’s the bookworm and the whole thing delighted her. 

Hamish felt Jack’s hand on his shoulder as he went to him.

“She’ll make it. We’re here. We won’t let her go”, he whispered.

Hamish can now understand what Vera sees in Jack. He had questioned her soft spot for him but now he gets it. Aside from his heart, Jack’s brain works differently than them privileged Belgrave students. He came from nothing and his perspective is bound by his background, practicality, kindness, and morals. He’s not seduced by power or status. It’s something he has in common with Vera who also came from the same background as he is.

“Thank you. I appreciate this, brother”, he replied and they all began reading.


	6. Tick Tock

Months passed and life seems to go on well for Vera and the Knights. The werewolves had not stopped reading anything they could get their hands on and Vera remains pregnant. As day passes, she grew weaker which is already evident in the dark circles around her eyes. She is very showing now too and she made no attempt in doing Respondio to everyone who sees. She got too little of time to care whatever the others are whispering about on campus. Besides, she is the Chancellor of the school. She can do whatever she wants. It is no secret who the father is of her child. Everyone at school knows it. Everyone in the Order knows it. She even received a long lecture from the Council about her taste in men but considering she’s the Grand Magus, all they can do is give lecture.

The disappearance of Kepler has been associated with the Praxis and sadly, with Alyssa Drake’s death. As hard as it is to pin the crime on Alyssa, that way her death was able to save the lives of the Knights and surely, she would want that.

Six months into the pregnancy, Vera had revoked the punishment of the Knights to kept out of the temple. It’s mostly because she needs Hamish from time to time and he insisted that he will be allowed access to the place to keep an eye on her. Everyone had been reinstated back to the Order much to Gabrielle’s delight who took it upon herself to assist her with everything she needs. Aside from Randall, she’s the most excited of the Knights to be an aunt. It’s what she’s been calling herself since she found out that she’s pregnant.

At Vera’s office, Gabrielle had finished making her mushroom soup which is her craving for the day when she almost fell onto the floor after putting a book into the shelf.

“Grand Magus! Are you alright?” Gabrielle was quick to put the bowl onto her desk and be at her side in a flash.

It’s her super speed at work and thank goodness for that, otherwise, Vera would have landed onto the cold hard floor back first.

“Yes, thank you…just a little lightheaded”, she answered and asked her to help her get to her desk.

Gabrielle knows it’s the cancer. They are aware that she got little time left and they still got tons of books to read down the basement. Hamish is already getting frustrated at the progress. Jack has been staying in that room almost 24/7, abusing his eyes reading through the old writings and books from the previous Knights. Lilith, who barely sleeps, is keeping him company. Hamish is dividing his time between reading, going to class, and being with Vera. Among all of them, Randall is the only one left acting normal although she’s certain that he’s feeling the pressure too deep inside.

“Ad superficiem”, Vera casted and the Vade Maecum reappeared on her desk.

“I never heard of that spell before”, Gabrielle muttered and watched the Grand Magus flipped the pages of the book.

Vera had stopped once she found what she’s looking for.

“Vitam prorogare potest. Commoda mihi tempus”, she uttered and the symbols from the page lit up.

Gabrielle’s jaw almost hit the floor as she saw the light from the symbols traveled from the page towards Vera’s hand and entered her skin. Suddenly, the dark circles around her eyes vanished and she developed color on her cheeks. Vera took a few breaths before composed herself and buried the book in her desk once more.

“What was that?” the young wolf asked.

“That is the best medicine I could hope to have for the time being”, Vera answered vaguely but she was able to piece it up.

Hamish did mention before that Vera said there are spells she can use to extend her time but her fate is still sealed once she gives birth.

“We’re not giving up. I know the due date’s close but we’re not giving up”, Gabrielle said.

Vera appreciates her dedication. She had not been entirely pleasant towards her and she had to maintain certain firmness after she sided with Kepler during that attack at the Den but she could not question Gabrielle’s loyalty to the Order itself.

“Hope is the cruelest thing in the world, Ms. Dupres. It does sound appealing but do not fall for it or you will only end up disappointed and broken. Trust me. I know”, she advised.

“How can you accept defeat like that? Not once you backed down from fight even the odds were against you. You went up against Edward Coventry even though the rest of the Council was behind him. Why backed down now when there are people fighting for you?” the young werewolf exclaimed.

She may not admit it, she too is becoming wired about the incoming deadline. She is feeling the pressure and the frustration of not having found anything just yet.

Normally, Vera would be pissed at being talked to like that by a disciple in her own office but she’s too tired to impose status. She is aware of the research the Knights have been doing. They are all exhausted and frustrated. 

“Ms. Dupres, I am dying. I had long accepted that the moment I performed Fors Factoram. I was lucky to be able to live this long but I cannot cheat death. No one can. It will only get harder if I force myself to be optimistic. The only thing that puts my mind at ease with everything is the fact that my child will have a family that will love him and will protect him. I believe I can entrust my child’s welfare in your hands? I don’t trust Mr. Carpio as an example for him. I have a feeling he will turn my child into an alcoholic”, Vera explained.

She added a brief smile to lighten up the mood a bit. Gabrielle seemed to appreciate the trust she was given. Still, she does not accept defeat easily. If Vera had long made peace with death, Gabrielle had not.

“Yes, Grand Magus. I will make sure Randall will not turn your child into an alcoholic”, she replied.

\---------------------------------

Later that day, Hamish has been the one to drive Vera home. She noticed that he’s been very quiet since they left the temple and it’s unlike him to be quiet. She’s the quiet one. When they reached her house, he quietly assisted her insisted and she settled down the sofa. Hamish kneeled in front of her and helped her removed her shoes, so she won’t have to bend over. She watches him with careful eyes. Something is bothering him for sure. 

“Spill it out”, she muttered but in a soothing tone.

He sighed but did not look at her.

“Is that how you do it? Spell from the Vade Maecum?” he asked.

“Ms. Dupres”, she figured.

That would explain why he’s silent. She had told him what happened in her office. Hamish was aware she’s doing spells to buy her more time but not to that extent. He never asked so she did not say.

“What happens if you stop doing the spell?” he asked again. 

Vera pursed her lips.

“I don’t think you would want to know the answer to that, Hamish”, she muttered.

He looked at her this time. His eyes had been sore. It caused a pain in her heart. She may have accepted her fate but he clearly has not.

“Tell me”, he urges.

“I will die and the baby might also die with me”, she answered.

She felt his hands tensed around her feet. He already knows the answer but he wants to hear it. It’s not clear what for. Was it motivation to work harder or was it torture for himself for failing her? He was not sure. All he knows is that a spell from the most powerful grimoire is the only thing keeping her alive and once she gives birth, it’s all over. Time is running out. 

Instead of saying something to perhaps give her hope or give himself hope, tears spilt from his eyes. Vera is completely taken aback at the sight of Hamish sobbing, on his knees, right in front of her. She knows he does not want to accept the inevitable but the toll it’s taking on him had just been made known to her. Somehow, she wishes she had never told him. It was unfair but it would spare him the agony right now. Her death will come as a shock for him but maybe she could have planned it out right. She could have fled and hide from him. Let everyone thinks she’s on vacation or moved elsewhere. It is a lie but if it spares him of the pain he has now, she would do it. Maybe telling him was a mistake.

“Hamish…” she ran her fingers into his hair.

“I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how faster I can go through those damn books. I don’t know where else to look. I just can’t lose you, Vera. I can’t go through that again…not you”, he confessed as he cries.

What else she’s supposed to say to that? ‘It’s okay. Everything’s going to be alright?’ It’s not going to be because she will still die and he will still be left to raise their child. She can only tell him that someday it will get better but he already knows that. He already went through with it just as she did. The thing is, she went through it once and he’s about to go through with it the second time. She cannot begin to imagine how bad that must be.

“Let’s go to bed. Sleep it off for the night. I will still be here tomorrow and I’ll be next to you when you wake up in the morning. A good night sleep will go a long way for your research”, she said gently as she held back her own tears.

He seems to calm down with that. He cannot remember the last time he slept in full eight hours. Ever since Vera had told him about her illness, he could not bring himself to succumb to sleep, fearing she will be gone when he wakes up. She now reassured him that it won’t happen tomorrow. She will still be there. Maybe he could use a night off. Maybe a well-rested set of eyes will be more useful in finding a way to help her survive.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I am just exhausted”, he yielded and wiped the tears from his eyes.

She wiped it along with him and then cupped his face so he would look at her.

“I love you”, she said.

She does not say it often and she should have started saying it a while ago but she was too prideful to do so. It’s not yet over. She still got time so she better keeps saying it now.

“I love you too”, he replied and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips.

That night, Hamish fell asleep in a flash. He is truly exhausted and sleep deprived. Though she promised to be there in the morning, it’s not morning yet. Vera is now sitting on her bathroom floor, covering her mouth with her hand as she muffled her cries to avoid waking him from slumber. It is also rare she allows herself to breakdown but seeing him like that earlier was too much for her to bear. She had been too focused on herself, insisting on others that she made peace with her fate, that she forgot what her situation does to Hamish, to others. If it’s any indication, Gabrielle’s sudden outburst earlier in her temple was an evidence to that. They are all working so hard to save her and she’s rubbing it off on their faces that there’s no hope.  
How can she encourage them to keep on fighting when she already knows how it ends? She had searched for cure herself for years before and she always ended up face to face with a brick wall. There is no cure for Fors Factoram’s cancer. She knows that since day one. She hoped that there will be somehow, somewhere but she had long accepted that there’s none. It took her years to do that. She cannot force them to accept it too within months but it’s all the time they have left. 

…and then there’s Hamish.

He may have his friends but he’s still going to be a solo parent to their child. Is he even prepared for the job? He is preoccupied right now with the thoughts of saving her, he may have actually forgot to do his research for the baby. She might be leaving the world which is unprepared for her passing. What will happen to the Knights when she dies? The Council will surely revoke the treaty and go after them. Her child will live in danger and in hiding because of it.

“Ah…” she hissed when she felt a sudden pain in her tummy.

In all of her worrying, a lukewarm wetness got her attention. When she looked down, her pajama is soaked. Her water just broke.

“Fuck…” the baby is coming.


	7. The Only Plan

“Hamish!” is the word that pulled him away from his most awaited sleep.

It was effective enough to make him sat right up on bed. He quickly realized Vera is no longer next to him and his heart pounded. He even felt Tundra ready to come out, thinking she is in danger. Could it be Praxis? They both wondered. He noticed the light at the bathroom was on and through his super hearing, he can hear pants coming from inside. He jolted out of bed and went there in a flash. Vera is on the floor, bullets of sweat on her forehead, while her pajama is soaked.

“What happened?” he dared asked.

He knew nothing of pregnancy, she said to herself. Of course, he wouldn’t know what’s going on in front of him other than the fact that she’s in pain.

“My water just broke. The baby is coming”, she answered in pants.

She hates labor. The whole childbirth experience is awesome like what most mothers say but the build up to it, the hours even days of labor is something she’s not a fan of. 

“…but you’re not due yet. There’s still three more months left”, he said in confusion.

Could this be happening right now? They were just talking earlier before he went to sleep. She just told him she will be there when he wakes up tomorrow. She’s having the baby now which means once the baby’s out, she’s gone. They’re not ready. He’s not ready. He thought there’s still time left.

“Hamish, due date is set for an ideal date of the birth. It’s not set in stone. Now, get the keys and take me to the car. I am not having our baby in my bathroom floor!” she snapped as she groaned in pain.

She did not mean to but she cannot take it anymore. She knows he is in shock right now and she did not want the last thing she said to him was to get the car keys but he has to move. She cannot deliver their child on a cold bathroom floor. Their baby will be six months premature baby who will need a lot of medical attention if they hope for him to survive. She must have the baby at the hospital.

Hamish operates in autopilot mode. He grabbed the keys and then picked up Vera from the floor and took her to the car. He is not even sure of it’s him operating or Tundra, but he’s moving. He can hear Vera’s groans and discomforts. He had never heard her like that before. She has high tolerance for pain and if she’s sounding like that, it means she’s in too much pain. He now realized why the birth will end her life. It’s for that reason. The pain of labor is taking so much out of her and the fact that she cannot perform any spell during the delivery of the baby, she cannot borrow additional time from the Vade Maecum. None of them can perform the spell for her. It has to be the person who needs life extention and she’s in no shape to perform anything. He drove faster. He fears that at the level of pain she’s in, she may not make it to give birth to their child. She’s already looking pale in his eyes and she had just performed the spell earlier that day. She should be recharged by now.

“Talk to me, Vera”, he said in his efforts to keep her awake.

“That’s not an easy thing to ask at the moment”, she hissed.

“We’re almost there. Just hang on”, he said and stepped harder on the gas.

At the hospital, they were greeted by nurses who assisted Vera right away. They put her on gurney and rolled her into one of the rooms he’s not allowed to go into. Hamish blinked a moment. Was that it? Was that the last time he will see her or talk to her? He can already feel his heart breaking. Tears are threatening to fall. It can’t be the end. She assured him she will be there in the morning. She never breaks a promise. She has to be there by morning. He was quick to wipe the tears when they fell from his eyes.

“Mr. Duke?” his attention went into focus on a young nurse, “Are you Mr. Duke?” Hamish can only nod. “I’m Nurse Jane. Your wife is currently in labor and she’ll be at it for hours. The baby is still far so you can still go home and grab few things if you want”, the nurse informed him.

“You mean the baby is not coming tonight?” he asked.

“Yes, Mr. Duke. We can expect the baby to be close by tomorrow morning. We hooked your wife to saline drip for the mean time because she’s extremely dehydrated. We gave her something for the pain so she will not notice you being gone”, she answered.

There’s still time. 

\---------------------------------

“Jack!” Hamish’s voice woke up everyone at the Den.

They all met him downstairs and saw him looking so disheveled.

“Hamish? What happened? It’s late”, Randall complained.

The Knights turned in late after hours of reading earlier. It was Lilith who forced everyone to go to bed so they can all rest, including Jack. There’s no use of them being sleep deprived. They will not find anything.

“Vera’s in the hospital. She’s in labor”, he revealed.

That woke them all up in a flash.

“I thought she’s due for months”, Lilith said.

“I thought so too but the baby is coming tomorrow and I don’t know what to do. I need your help”, Hamish admitted.

Everyone is quiet. What else can they do? They have been working their asses of in trying to find anything to save Vera but so far, they got nothing. What can they accomplish in a few hours? Hamish is becoming so desperate. He knew they still got nothing. He knew there will be nothing left to do but he still hope that in a few hours, they will be able to find something.

“Hold on”, Jack suddenly muttered and ran down the basement.

Hamish was quick to follow him. The basement looked like a mess. There are books everywhere and old pages from diaries. He found Jack scouring for something he had seen earlier. He dove in a pile of books, tossed the ones he does not need until he got what he wanted.

“Did you find something?” Hamish asked.

The others came inside the wrecked basement of theirs. Jack went towards him while flipping the pages of an old diary.

“All the most powerful incantations, spells, grimoires were written here by the first Knights to keep account of what the Order is capable of doing. At the time, it was not their job to stop the Order but rather to keep it in check, to guard it, to protect, just like what Vera had told us when she found out our true oath. The Vade Maecum was listed here along with tons of powerful spells. On the last entry, they had wrote about Fors Factoram as the most dangerous one of them all as it allows the practitioner to perform magic without sacrifice. They wrote of what we know, the cancer, the price of that incantation, but listen, even here they noticed that the practitioner who performed Fors Factoram could prolong his life through healing spells and the spell Vera uses from the Vade Maecum”,

“…and?” Hamish becoming impatient.

“healing spells can stop the cancer but they’re not enough to eliminate it because healing spells only work once. That was during the casting so the practitioner must cast it again and again to keep himself alive. What if Vera does not need to cast the spell again and again? What if she can just automatically heal?” Jack formed his theory.

“What? Like a werewolf?” Randall asked.

Jack smirked at that and Hamish got his point.

“Why not? We heal constantly. We don’t need spells to heal us. Our ability to do that is the key to save Vera”, Jack answered.

“Okay, your theory got some weight but in case you forgot, all the hides were taken. How on earth are we going to turn Vera Stone into a werewolf?” Gabrielle asked.

Lilith shared the same question. She had missed a lot.

“Alpha”, Hamish answered.

“Shit, Alpha is real?” Lilith asked.

“Very…” Randall was the one who answered.

“I know nothing of what you just said but I take it that answered my question so my next one is what about the baby? Say we got spare hide. Will the bonding of the hide with Vera affects the baby? It’s still inside her, you know”, Gabrielle asked again.

She got a point. No one pregnant has bonded with a hide before. They’re not even sure Alpha would want Vera as its champion. The result is uncertain and Vera wouldn’t want them to endanger her child.

“We do it after the baby’s out”, Hamish turned to Jack. That is a close call. “Once the baby is out, we bond Vera with the Alpha. It’s the only way”, Jack answered.

It is a gamble but they got nothing else. It is the first and last plan, the only plan.

“Okay. I’m in. Now, where the hell is the Alpha’s hide?” Lilith asked.

\----------------------------------

Jack and the rest of the Knights went to the hotel room he and Alyssa used to go to as their rendezvous point. None of them made comment as to its cheesiness, considering Jack’s feelings. They’re lucky that no one was booked into that particular room so they were able to sneak in.

“When I asked Alyssa about the hide’s location, she said that it was in the safe place, waiting for the right champion. I had a feeling as to where it might be but it felt wrong at the time to take it. I am not sure either if she approves now but this is for Vera”, they are careful not to say anything, “Revelare”, Jack chanted.

At the lounge area of the room appeared an old locker. It’s the Alpha’s locker. Hamish can already tell because of Tundra’s response to it. In fact, all of them can feel it.

“This was her safe place”, Jack faced Hamish, “I failed to save her but we are not going to fail in saving Vera”, he said.

\---------------------------------

Vera awoke at the hospital. The pain is back at it again. The meds she was given had worn off. Her eyes roamed around the room and there’s no Hamish waiting for her to wake up this time. He’s not there. Vera clasped the sheets, trying to hold it together. She knows he did not abandon her. No. He will never do that. He is probably out in a desperate pursuit for anything that will extend her life but she could not help but feel what she felt the first time she’s in that position. It’s exactly the same: she, lying on the bed in a hospital room which is only occupied by her and her alone. She could not help but feel abandoned for the lack of a better term. Her mind tells her that Hamish is not the same as the guy who got her pregnant the first time but her heart is remembering the same loneliness of being alone.

“It’s not the same”, she whispered as tears streamed from her eyes. “This is not the same”, she repeated to herself.

Her doctor came in the room and saw her conscious.

“Oh, you’re up. Are you in pain?” she nodded her head, “Don’t worry. The nurse just sent home Mr. Duke so he can get a few things for you but he’ll be back. Now, let us check how close we are”, he said and positioned himself at the foot of the bed. “Well, you’re getting close. Eight centimeters. Your contractions are close together as well. I should go on and have the delivery room prepared for you”, he said.

The baby is coming and Hamish is not back yet.

“Hamish…” slipped out of her lips.

“We will call her, Vera. Don’t worry”, the doctor said before leaving.

She can try to hold on a few more hours but he must be back before the baby’s born. She needs to see him one last time before she dies. Stupid car keys, she scolds herself. She needs to tell him how much she loves him. She needs to tell him that he’s the only one she ever loved in her whole life. She needs to tell him all the things she held back because she’s scared of letting go. He has to come back before it’s too late.

\---------------------------------

The Knights are busy planning how they will sneak a hide’s locker inside the hospital without detection, let alone inside the delivery room when Hamish’s phone rings.

“Hello?” he paused. “Alright, I’ll be there”, he said and hung up.

“Why? What’s up?” Gabrielle asked.

“It’s the hospital. Vera’s having the baby now”, he answered as he grows pale.

“Then we better get moving and bring Alpha to Vera”, Jack said.


	8. Life and Death

It was agonizing how she has to go through this pain again and remained alone…again. She heard what the doctor said. He will be back. Will he make it on time then? She does not want to die without seeing him for the last time. It’s something she’s not prepared for. For years, she had planned how she’s going out and she never thought it all will change because of one werewolf. Her life has been sped up and now, she’s back on the stirrups about to deliver a baby which will end her life. Vera screamed in pain when it got too much. Somehow, she wanted to request for something to knock her out just to spare herself of the pain but she may never wake up again. She cannot close her eyes until she sees him. 

“Do not yet push, Vera. Hold on”, the doctor said.

It is nearing the impossible for her not to push but she reigned herself in. She desperately wanted to chant a spell to strip the pain from her body but that’s suicide. She cannot use magic at this point. She’s already weak enough. Doing that will kill her before the baby does. She cried again but released her frustration onto the sheet. She felt a sting on her palms. It’s her nails digging into her skin. That eases her suffering for a bit so she clenched again. It stopped when the nurse noticed her hands bleeding so she put cloth between her palms to stop her from hurting herself. 

Where the hell is Hamish?

She is almost there and she cannot hold on for much longer. She had been in this position before. She knew the baby is coming. There is no delaying it. Then, the door went open and enter Hamish in scrubs. His eyes are frantic, panicked, nervous, scared, loving, all rolled into those blue circles. A smile formed upon her lips despite the pain she’s under.

“I thought you’re not going to make it back”, she muttered.

“I will never let you do this alone and we found a way. We found a way to save you”, he said.

She frowned. What is he up to now? There is no saving her. She knew that. She’s okay with that. It’s not right to give her false hope now that she’s seconds away from death. He should be sending her off with words of love and promises that he will raise their child well.

“Hamish…I love you. I know I don’t tell you that enough but I love you so much, okay? You have to remember that”, she said.

Is that the best she can do? Bottling her feelings resulted in crappy expression of what she wanted to say to him. There’s more she wants to say but it’s all that came out.

“Stop. You’re not going to die. The others are just waiting outside. You’ll get through this”, he cut her off.

What is going on? He’s messing up the peace she had established for her death for years. 

“Promise me you’ll take care of him. Promise me you’ll raise him well”, she insisted.

She has to hear it. He had said it before but now is crucial.

“I promise and I also promise that you will be there to see it”, he said firmly.

“Alright…she’s giving birth, not dying. Let’s keep it positive”, the doctor intervened.

Vera and Hamish locked eyes for a moment. There is a confusion in their connection. Could he really mean that? Could it be possible that there’s a way to save her? She is finding herself hoping but she does not want to get disappointed. She’s been there way too many times. She wanted to leave this world with a smile on her face but he’s making it difficult by making her hope.

“Ah…fuck!” she screamed when the pain hit her.

“Now is the time, Vera. Push”, the doctor ordered.

She held onto his hand and started pushing for their child to have a life as she loses hers every single push.

\-----------------------------------

FEW MINUTES EARLIER…

The Knights rushed in at the hospital carrying the Alpha’s hide locker. Randall and Jack carried it, protecting anyone from getting too close for it to bond with anyone. They cannot risk it. The Alpha is for Vera. The security greeted them at the sight of what it looks like an intrusion.

“Et non vident quae videtis”, Gabrielle casted and the guards walked past them, making them totally invisible.

Hamish rushed to ask the nurse where Vera might be and he was directed towards the delivery room where he’s asked to put on the scrubs before entering.

“Go. We’ll be staying right here. Call us when it’s time”, Jack said and Hamish went in.

\---------------------------------

PRESENT

Hamish heart breaks as he watches the love of his life in pain. It is common knowledge that childbirth is painful but he never had any experience with it. This is his first time and he is willing the pain to be transferred into him, if only. He did not fail to see Vera’s skin becoming paler and paler as she pushes. Her life force is literally leaving her as she gives birth to their child. He held on to her hand, letting her know that he’s right there with her, that he will never leave her, that he will never let her go. 

A touch transmits a thousand words and she can feel all the things he wanted to say to her. She just hopes that he can feel hers too. 

In one big push, the last thing she heard is the sound of a baby crying…

\---------------------------------

“It’s a boy! Congratulations, Vera! Mr. Duke!” the doctor greeted but Vera is already unconscious.

The nurses took the baby to bring it to NICU while the doctor noticed the blood coming out of Vera’s nose.

“Jack!” Hamish yelled and the Knights burst in the door.

“Hey, what are you doing? You cannot be in here!” the doctor exclaimed.

“Dormi”, Lilith was the one who casted the spell and the remaining hospital staff fell asleep on the floor.

They all saw Vera lying on the stirrups, pale as a blank sheet of paper. Randall and Jack dragged the locker next to her and allowed the Alpha do the work.

Hamish is on the edge. A lot of what ifs flooded his brain. It’s the last chance. If it did not work, he’ll lose her forever. Their child will never meet his mother. 

“Come on…” Randall muttered in impatience.

The others looked at him. The most reluctant when it comes to Vera is the one urging Alpha to save her life. He had grown fond of her and he does not like the idea of Hamish going through that dark path again of losing the woman he loves, not like this. 

The locker swayed back and forth. Everyone held their breath. Then, the locker opened and the hide enveloped Vera until it was absorbed by her body.

\----------------------------------

COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS

Vera awoke in the middle of the woods. She is still wearing her hospital gown and she got no shoes on. Her mind works fast. It’s impossible for her to be gone from hospital just like that so she must have been dead already.

“Are you really going to sit down there the whole time?” Alyssa asked.

She gasped and got to her feet fast.

“Ms. Drake?” she muttered in disbelief. 

She really is dead.

“…even in this place, you can’t still call me by my name. Always the formality…how’s that work out for you? You use that as shield. Keep everyone at arm’s length so no one can get past your defenses and it took Hamish to break it. Isn’t it ironic?” Alyssa commented.

Vera wondered if this is really the afterlife. Perhaps, she’s in hell although she expected fire everywhere.

“I never wished for you to die”, is the only thing she was able to say.

She meant it, of course. She’s just having a hard time expressing herself to Alyssa.

“…but you lied to me. You knew my magic was going haywire and you knew what’s causing it and you lied about the Vade Maecum”, Alyssa reminded her.

The same argument…again. She could not help but roll her eyes to that.

“The book is indestructible, Ms. Drake. Despite what you believed Nephilim’s tears could not obliterate that book. I checked while I was making the potion”, Vera snapped.

“Oh? And why did you still went along with it?” Alyssa asked.

“…because it’s the only way to stop those who want the book from searching for it”, Alyssa halted. “If the news will come from the Council itself that we destroyed the Vade Maecum, all those who desire it will stop coming for it. Don’t you think if I haven’t done that there will be peace? The Vade Maecum is in one piece! Other societies will try to get their hands on it. The necromancers will try as well. Hell, even one of ours will make an attempt given the chance. Making everyone believed it was gone is the only way to keep it safe”, she answered.

The young practitioner calmed down a bit.

“You sacrificed me”, she muttered.

Vera sighed and shook her head.

“No, I did not. I did not know it will affect your magic. When you told me about it, we’re facing another problem which is more pressing than fixing your magic. I meant it when I said you don’t know what timing is. I would have helped you once it’s all over. I sent Jack to ask you to talk to me but you refused”,

“You tried to take my memories from me”, Alyssa cut in.

“Can you blame me? You’re siding with the enemy. You’ve been into my office, the reliquary. You got access to all of our books. You know the Order’s secrets. If I hadn’t ordered that, the Council will order your death because you’re a liability. I would rather have you forget everything than for you to die but that does not make any difference now, does it?” Vera continued.

At some point, Alyssa knew all that. It’s why she understood why Vera took the Knights’ memories, to keep them safe, to keep them alive.

“You killed Salvador”, she recalled.

Vera scoffed at the memory.

“Oh please…she already planned to kill me. Do you really expect me to let her? I only agreed to the parley because of Mr. Morton’s insistence. He’s keen on making peace between the Order and the Praxis for the two of you and even though I knew it’s not going to end well, I still went there. I was right, of course, but I wished I was not”, she explained.

Salvador was determined to kill herself in order to kill Vera. She has no choice than to fight back and it resulted to the death of the leader of Praxis and Alyssa’s revenge.

“You could have given her what she wanted”, Alyssa argued but with less aggressive tone.

“…and let this happen to you or her or anyone else who dares to perform Fors Factoram?” she means dying, “I would not wish this for anyone. It was an act of desperation on my part, a necessary one. Given a chance, I wouldn’t have done it if I did not have to but I don’t regret it because it saved the Order back then. Sentencing yourselves to death so you can be free of sacrifices of magic is not worth it”, Vera said.

“I guess death is always going to be my ending, huh”, she realized.

“That makes the both of us”, she replied.

“No, it wouldn’t be for you, Vera. It’s not your time yet”, Alyssa said.

“What? I don’t understand”, Vera asked.

“I told Jack that I kept the Alpha’s hide in order to wait for someone worthy to carry it. He asked me if it was me and I did not answer him. At first, I thought I could do it but deep down, I knew it’s not for me. I finally did something right. Alpha has been waiting for your Vera for a very long time. It is destiny and it has now been fulfilled. I’m sorry for causing you trouble but it allowed fate to bring you here. Open your eyes”, Alyssa answered.

…and Vera finally opened her eyes…her red eyes.


	9. Meet...

Vera jolted up as she gasped for air. She’s still disoriented from being with Alyssa but she is sure she’s back on the land of the living because Hamish and the wolves are surrounding her.

“What is happening?” she managed to ask.

She felt different, stronger, powerful…not alone. She feels strange, like someone’s there at the back of her mind. She no longer feels the cancer that used to eat her away.

“You’re safe! I am so glad it worked”, Hamish exhaled and hugged her.

She glanced over the others who got smiles on their faces before her eyes fell on a very old hide locker next to her bed. Vera quickly pushed Hamish away.

“Please tell me you did not turn me into one of you”, she muttered.

She is the Grand Magus of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. Imagine the frenzy when the Council discovers she’s also a werewolf. They will vote her out as the Grand Magus and the treaty that’s holding the peace between the Order and the Knights will be thrown to garbage real fast. They will be on the run and her child will live a life of chaos and threat.

Her child…

It just crossed her mind that she has not seen her child after she gave birth. She’s not sure about the gender but she has a strong feeling it was a boy. Her eyes searched around the room but she did not find her child. The doctors and nurses are all lying unconscious on the floor courtesy of her current company.

“It was the only way to save your life”, Jack caught her attention. “It was in the archives of the Knights. The first batch of champions wrote about Fors Factoram and they observed how the others who performed it centuries ago cheated death by continuously healing themselves. You were doing that to yourself with the help of the Vade Maecum. We realized that the only way to save you altogether from the cancer and death is to let you become a werewolf. We have healing ability which is equivalent to healing spells only it’s constant. There’s no need for you to cast spells every now and then. Your body will heal itself and we happen to have a spare hide”, he explained.

The Alpha…she already knew. Alyssa already told her about it. She said that it’s destiny, that the Alpha has been waiting for her. What does that mean? She did not get a chance to ask her that because she came back to life right away. The last champion of the Alpha was Salvador Grant and she killed her. Somehow, it felt wrong having her hide inside her. It felt unfair.

“We will deal with the consequence of this later. Where is my son?” she asked already claiming the gender.

Lilith can almost scoff at her response. Of course, it will take a lot from Vera Stone to thank them for saving her life. Also, Lilith can understand her point of view. There’s going to be consequences of what they’ve done. She is the Grand Magus of the Order. The Council thinks that the werewolves are the enemy and their leader is now one of them. It will destroy all the fostered peace between two societies. Now that Vera and Hamish have a baby together, they will question her decision and judgment. They will think her as bias because of her relationship with the leader of the Knights. They will doubt her credibility as a leader and there is a big possibility that they will try to vote her out again.

“They took the baby to NICU, I think. He’s premature so he needs medical attention but I am sure he’s going to be fine”, Gabrielle was the one who answered the worried mother.

Right. Her child is a six-month premature baby. She looked at the mess around her once again and her brain quickly caught up.

“Take this old box out of this place. I need to wake them up so I can get out of this room. We will continue this once they put me in a private room”, she ordered.

Randall smiled. That’s the Vera he remembers, always so bossy even when she’s the one on a stirrups. He and Jack carried the locker and Gabrielle and Lilith followed along outside leaving her and Hamish inside.

He still couldn’t believe that it’s all over. Her life is no longer in danger. Her time is not running out. She’s in perfect health. He’s so happy he can transform right then and there and run miles through the woods in happiness. He does not need to imagine a life without her. She will be in that dream in his brain. She will be standing by the door watching him play with their son. 

“Keep looking at me like that and I will melt”, she muttered.

He laughed and wiped the tears that fell from his eyes.

“I am just so happy you’re back. I was so scared”, he admitted.

Her hand found his and she gently squeezed.

“I know. So was I”, she admitted as well.

She felt a pang of fear when she was in the woods with Alyssa. She thought about not seeing him again and their child. She’s about to get stuck in that world forever.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

Interesting question. 

“Different. I don’t feel sick anymore which is odd because I’ve been feeling that for so many years and I got used to it. Now, I feel strong but at the same time, odd. I can feel that someone else is at the back of my head, that I am not alone in my thoughts”, she answered.

“That’s the Alpha. It’s your hide. You are one now just like me and Tundra. It can feel your thoughts and emotions just like you can feel the Alpha’s thoughts and emotions…and hunger”, he explained.

She was alarmed by the last part. She has no intention of eating anyone’s organs and he saw how she reacted to that. That’s going to be the hard part. All of them lost control the first time they transformed. Their hides took control and a person ended up dead each time. She’s bound to kill someone and he does not know how to prepare her for that. It took a lot of effort and patience on Randall’s part to get Gabrielle to accept that. When Midnight possessed her, she ended up killing Alyssa. Hamish does not want to same fate for Vera. He does not want her to regret being alive.

“Clean yourself up. I need to wake them up”, he wiped his face and straightened himself up, “Surgit”, the doctor and nurses opened their eyes and looked confused as they got on their feet. They had no recollection as to why they’re on the floor. “Meministis gestum”, she casted.

They all forgot the event of the others bursting inside the room and knocking them down. The last thing they recall was delivering a premature baby boy.

“Congratulations, don’t worry. He will be looked after. Let us fix you up first and then later, you can see your son at the nursery”, the doctor said with a smile.

Vera smiled back genuinely. She is excited to see her son. She never thought she will get a chance to see him, to meet him, and despite having second thoughts about the whole werewolf thing, being able to be a mother to her son is one good outcome of it.

\--------------------------------

It took almost an hour to get Vera settled in a private room. She remains dehydrated so she is still hooked up on a drip when the Knights came in to see her. The locker has been brought back to the Den. She’s in a better mood too as they found her smiling with Hamish, clearly interrupting a moment.

“Did we miss something?” Randall asked.

“We’re going to see our son later”, Hamish answered with a smile.

That got them all excited. They already claimed the baby as part of the family and they are very much excited to see him.

“Wait, have you thought of names yet? I know you did not want to know the gender before and all but he’s here now and he needs a name”, Gabrielle asked.

Hamish turned to Vera not wanting to take away the choice from her. It’s her decision.

“His name is Christopher Drake Stone…Duke”, that brought tears to pretty much everyone’s eyes.

They understood her naming her son Christopher after the Knights of St. Christopher to whom she owes her life. Jack caught on Christopher’s middle name Drake after Alyssa and for a moment he and Vera locked eyes, understanding each other. Despite noticing how hard she had been towards her back then, he knows deep down that she cared for Alyssa. She would have healed her that day if she had her magic even though Alyssa stole it away and tried to kill her. Lastly, Hamish felt honored that she chose to give their son his last name. He would respect her decision if she chose not to but he’s glad that she did. Tundra as well is rejoicing of her choice. The others felt their hides glad and flattered with her naming their son Christopher in honor of them.

“That is a very powerful name”, Jack commented as he blinked back his tears.

Vera smiled.

“Of course, he came from two powerful societies. His name must suit his bloodline as well”, she retorted and they laughed at that.

Her sass is back and they loved it. She felt Hamish’s hand over hers and she glanced at him with a smile. She knows what he wants to say. Somehow, she can feel it through his touch.

“So, how does it feel to be a werewolf?” Lilith broke the moment.

Vera turned to her and reality sinks in. She is now a werewolf. She had not thought of that since the doctor told her she can see her son later.

“Completely strange and weird”, her tone went cold, “I will appreciate it if you can all keep this to yourselves, how difficult it may be but all our heads are at stake if the Council found out I am now a werewolf”, she answered.

The others frowned.

“Why? I think that would be supercool. You’re like the big boss of the Order and at the same time, you’re the Alpha”, Randall followed up.

“As wonderful as you put it, Mr. Carpio, the Councill will not see it that way. Try picturing it as their Grand Magus became one of their biggest enemy who also has a baby with the leader of that same enemy”, she snapped.

Lilith knew that already but she does not want to break it to others. She wants Vera to tell them the consequence of what they did.

“They will kick you out as Grand Magus and the treaty will fall. They will come after us”, Jack pieced it all together to which Vera only nodded.

“Well that sucks…can they really do that?” Gabrielle muttered.

“Remember Invocare?” Jack asked her and the memory came back.

The Council can vote another Grand Magus to replace her and when that happens, they will need to run for their lives.

“We will keep this a secret”, Hamish’s voice got all of their attention, “We managed to keep it a secret when Vera lost her magic and that was harder than this”, he turned to her. “We can help you control it. You already got so much restraint and control over yourself. It will be easy for you. We can get through this”, he said.

His assurance gave her hope. They went through worse anyway. What is hiding a secret from the Council? It’s not like they had not done it before.

“Good…that sounds better”, she replied.

Their conversation was interrupted when the doctor came in the room.

“Oh, sorry…I did not know you already got visitors. We can see your son now”, he said.

The feelings of threat and worry were replaced with excitement and joy as Hamish rolled her wheelchair towards the nursery as the others followed them. 

“That’s him over there inside the incubator. We already ran tests and so far, he’s doing very well. He’s a strong baby, a fighter too. Despite being premature, his vitals are strong. He’s going to be just fine”, the doctor said as Vera stared at her son through the window.

Tears ran down her cheeks. It’s not going to be the last time, she said to herself. This time, it’s going to be different. She is going to do things right. She’s going to be a better mother to her son.


	10. Control

Baby Christopher has to remain at the hospital to be monitored by doctors. He’s a premature baby and needs attention despite having no complications. The Knights had been itching to get him out of there but Vera does not want to fight the doctors and take her chances. She promised to do this right. She’s not going to make the same mistake again and lose her child again. Her doctor had released her and they’ve been allowed to visit baby Christopher as often as they like.

When she and Hamish arrived at her house, something had stopped her at the door. A frown formed upon her face. Hamish detected her body tensing before hearing a low growl under her breath.

“Vera”, he called.

“Someone’s inside”, she muttered.

She’s not sure how but she’s very certain there are more than two people inside her house and she does not like trespassers. Her temper is rising rapidly. It’s strange. She normally can control her anger but she’s failing with that right now. Hamish knew it’s her werewolf senses being activated. She can smell the scents from inside and he was about to tell her that it was the others waiting for them for a surprise but she’s gone in a flash. He blinked a few times. Was that magic or werewolf speed? He couldn’t tell the difference. It was then he realized that he must go after her before she loses control.

“Vera!” he called after her.

When he got upstairs, he heard commotion coming from one of the rooms. He found Randall pinned against the wall, almost touching the ceiling. Vera is standing few steps away from him, not averting her eyes from him. 

“Vera, come on…it’s us”, Jack said as he tried to reach her.

She snapped her head at him and growled at him, revealing her fangs and very angry red eyes. For some reason, Jack got down on his knees as well as Lilith and Gabrielle. Hamish frowned at their actions. Vera resumed her attention towards Randall who remains by the wall, suspended in midair. 

“I’m sorry”, the young wolf struggled to utter. “…didn’t mean to startle you…just want…to surprise…you…that’s all”, he coughed a little, “Surprise!” he eyed the other side of the room and she followed his gaze.

She saw the whole room was redone and turned into a nursery room. That had calmed her down and she let him go. Randall dropped onto the floor, gasping and coughing. The others remained on their knees as Vera forced herself to breathe. Hamish was careful as he walked to approach her. When she did not growl at him, he put his hands gently over her shoulders. He can feel her shaking. She’s struggling to control the beast within her.

“Breathe…just breathe…” he whispered and slowly pulled her into his arms.

He held her until the shaking stopped. Her breathing went even. He continues to rub circles on her back to soothe her. She relaxes and buried her face against his chest as she recovers from what just happened. He then carefully pulled a little and cupped her face so he can look into her eyes.

“You’re alright. You’re going to be alright. You did fine”, he reassured her.

All of them ended up killing someone or something the first time they lost control. Vera had attacked Randall and growled at the others but she managed to control it before she can actually hurt and kill anyone. That’s impressive by werewolves’ standards.

“I almost killed, Mr. Carpio. I was thinking about it. I was just so angry”, she confessed in a breathy voice.

“No, Vera. It was not you. I know you want to kill Randall sometimes but not literally. That was Alpha taking over. It was Alpha who wanted to kill him and not you”, he explained.

It does not make her feel better. The thought of losing control like that actually worries her. She cannot lose control and risked the Council discovering what she is now. That will endanger all of them now. That will get them all killed including her son. Vera glanced over Randall who had recovered from what happened.

“I’m sorry”, she apologized.

The werewolf only shrugged and nodded.

“Don’t worry about it. It happens to all of us”, he replied with his usual smile.

Jack, Gabrielle and Lilith got on their feet, still confused at what happened.

“So…” Gabrielle cleared her throat, “Did you like the nursery?” she asked.

It’s the reason why they snuck in Vera’s house. They had time to transform the entire room while she’s at the hospital. Of course, they did it magically due to time frame but it turned out great. Nicole had helped too but she’s not informed that the Grand Magus is now the Alpha.

Vera looked at the new nursery room and it made her heart warm. It’s beautiful. The whole aesthetic is simple. She does not know how long they worked on it but it was done beautifully. The furniture is exactly what she would have gone for and she’s certain it’s Gabrielle who picked them. They shared the same taste when it comes to design.

“Well, despite the fact that you trespassed inside my house and renovated one of my rooms without permission, it’s perfect. Thank you. I really love it”, she answered.

It made the Knights happy. The unexpected encounter with the Alpha has been worth it. Vera is a hard woman to impress and the fact that she likes it, means they did an excellent work.

\--------------------------------

Hamish had decided to put himself in charge at the kitchen while Gabrielle and Vera gushed over the nursery upstairs. He’s glad that she liked the room. When they first told him about the plan, he was worried that she wouldn’t go for it. He’s glad that it turned out well. Jack went there to help him prepare dinner.

“How’s Christopher?” Jack asked.

“He’s doing great. We will come back tomorrow to visit him. The doctor said we can visit anytime”, he recalled something else. “Jack, what happened earlier upstairs? The three of you got down on your knees just like that. What’s up with that?” he answered then asked.

Jack recalled that moment her red eyes met his. It was like a sharp electricity that had hit him. It left him frozen and frightened.

“I am not sure either but it’s like something had forced me down. She actually frightened me and I am not scared of Vera. I know she wouldn’t hurt me or us but earlier, I felt extreme wave of fear. My body moved without my consent and I couldn’t get up”, he answered.

Hamish quietly stirred the pasta sauce while Jack watched him with careful eyes. Jack can see him deep in thoughts.

“You knew what happened”, he guessed.

The leader sighed and faced him.

“When Vera was in the hospital, I did some reading regarding the Alpha to prepare her for it. It was said that the Alpha is the strongest and most powerful hide there is and the other hides revered her. She was bound to be the leader of the wolves but due to her bloodthirst and violent manner, the hides put Tundra in charge and so the Alpha chose a champion that’s not from here and ran away. What I saw earlier was the Alpha literally enforcing her power on Silverback, Timber, and Midnight. You’re not the one who was scared but your hide”, Hamish explained.

Salvador was the last one who handled the Alpha and even then, Alpha did not step up to stop her champion when she hurt Hamish. She must have been one angry hide after feeling betrayed and robbed of her right.

“Do you think Vera can handle the Alpha?” Jack asked.

It’s one thing to control the urge to transform but to resist a bloodthirsty and extremely violent hide is something entirely different. He had experienced being Midnight’s champion and even though that hide is always stubborn, short-tempered, and quite impulsive, Jack can reign him in by insisting on what matters. He’s not sure if that same applies to Alpha. What if Alpha possesses Vera like what Midnight did to Gabrielle? What if Alpha uses Vera’s magic ability to her advantage? He just now realized how dangerous their combination is. A powerful werewolf and a powerful practitioner.

“Vera is stronger than all of us. She can do it and she will not be alone. We will be here to help her”, Hamish answered.

Hamish can understand his worries. He had feared the same. He read something else about the Alpha but he chose not to tell that yet to Jack. He wants to run it with Vera first because it concerns her. She was right. Everything has its consequences. Bonding the Alpha with Vera has its own. 

“I know. You’re right. Of course, she can. She’s Vera Stone”, Jack replied, finally buying his assurance.

\---------------------------------

Upstairs, Gabrielle and Vera talked about furniture and interior design and other baby stuff Gabrielle saw at the mall while she was buying things for Christopher. Vera was right. They shared the same taste for style and design. Gabrielle was glad that they can bond on something else other than being at the Order and now being a Knight. It was nice to hang out with the Grand Magus like this. It feels nice to see her at ease and has her guard down. She has never seen Vera like this at the temple. In that place, she’s always the Grand Magus and on campus, she’s the Chancellor. A laid back Vera Stone is so far Gabrielle’s favorite side of her. 

“Ms. Dupres, how did you manage to control your hide after what happened at the temple?” Vera suddenly asked and it made Gabrielle stiffened.

The Grand Magus is referring to the time Midnight possessed her and she ended up killing Alyssa. No one dares to mention that with her around but Vera did not hesitate and she can understand why. She just almost lost control earlier. It’s more dangerous for her to be possessed by her hide. It will cost all of them and her son.

“It was Lilith who taught me how to control it. Midnight subsided after Alyssa but I had trouble with the temper. Lilith had the same trouble with Timber and she thought this trick. Whenever I feel Midnight about to come to the surface, I ran my favorite song in my head again and again until I can no longer feel Midnight. I kept doing that until I was able to have control on transforming”, she answered.

Vera contemplated that. It may work but she has a feeling that Alpha is quite different than Midnight or any of the other hides. It might take more than her favorite song to control her hide.

“Thank you. I will keep that in mind”, Vera replied.

Gabrielle can see the hesitation in her eyes. She knows how it is to lost control. It’s no fun and for someone like Vera who is used to being in control and needs to be, it must be extremely difficult.

“You’re welcome, Grand Magus”, Gabrielle only said.

\----------------------------------

The dinner was full of banter and jokes between the Knights and Vera couldn’t help but feel out of place in her own home. Of course, she can relate but she felt like she’s intruding at their moment. They’re such a close knit and she’s the odd one out. Even Gabrielle is one of them now and they treat her like one of them. She might be the Alpha but she’s not one of them. She’s the outsider. That feeling of loneliness was quickly replaced with bitterness. She does not know where that came from but the more she looks at them, the more she feels resentful. She willed herself to get over it and be grateful instead. Those kids saved her life. They made the nursery room for her. She shouldn’t feel resentment towards them and yet she’s feeling it right now.

“Excuse me”, she excused herself to prevent anything bad to happen.

It couldn’t be blamed to hormones. She already gave birth to her son. The pounding in her chest got harder as she reached the bathroom. She quickly locked the door and splashed some cold water onto her face. When she looked up to the mirror, she was greeted by a reflection of her only with red eyes. Vera tightened her grip onto the sink as she tried to do Gabrielle’s trick but no matter how hard she played her favorite song in her head, Alpha wouldn’t go away.

Anger filled her up faster than the water running from the faucet until she feels like exploding. Her body literally feels warm. She heard her sink cracked due to her renewed force and her anger projected onto the mirror, shattering it completely.


	11. Truce

The banging on the door snapped Vera out of her trance and she quickly fixed the mess in her bathroom with a wave of her hand. The use of her own magic sent ringing bells in her own ears. She now knows how that magic alarm works.

“Vera!” Hamish called and she’s certain that if she does not open it, he will break down her door.

“What is it?” she asked like nothing happened when she opened the door.

He looked panicked and he’s panting. He must have ran from the kitchen when he heard the glass. His eyes looked around behind her, inspecting if there’s danger inside the bathroom.

“I heard something broke. Are you alright?” he asked.

She does not like lying to him. She hated it. She made it clear that lie must not exist in their relationship. That almost killed what they have and her when he lied to her about their involvement in Kepler’s death. Now, the impulse to lie to his face is far greater than her morals.

“Oh, I dropped the bottle of my lotion. I was going to apply it on my hands and it slipped. I didn’t mean to alarm you. I’m sorry”, the apology part was not meant for alarming him but for the lie she just spat.

He sighed and calmed down.

“It’s alright. I thought you fell or something. Are you going to be fine? The others are wondering if you’re okay”, he asked again.

She nodded.

“Yes. I’ll be there in a minute”, she answered and watched him walked away before closing the door again.

She just lied to his face. A wave of guilt hit her. She can still feel the overwhelming anger and resentment she was feeling earlier but they’re less intense now. What was that about? She glanced at herself through the now fixed mirror and her eyes are back to normal. She stared at herself a few seconds longer before it sinks in. It was not her. It was not her emotion. It was the Alpha’s.

Vera tried to analyze how the strongest of the werewolves felt that way. The entire pack has been together for centuries while the Alpha had been MIA for a very long time. She’s not familiar with the history but there must be a reason why the Alpha had been that long. The other Knights even thought that the Alpha was not real. They thought it was just a myth. To be forgotten like that and then came back to see what she had seen earlier, a complete family that was established without it, must have hurt a lot. She couldn’t even begin to think what the Alpha had missed for centuries. It started with her own feelings of being out of place, of being on the outside and for some reason, the Alpha responded to that because it related to what she was feeling at the time. The only thing is the Alpha’s emotions are more intense than hers, more powerful. It was centuries of pent up frustrations that had hit her earlier.

“Control”, she said to her reflection but more importantly, to the Alpha, before coming out of the bathroom to rejoin the group.

They were still laughing and joking with each other when she returned. She’s glad no one bothered to ask her what happened. Hamish must have told them what she told him. 

After dinner, the Knights moved to her living room and insisted on playing her game console before calling it a night. They wanted to have drinking session first but she has drawn the line there. She’s not going to let them turn her house into a second Den. Once again, the feeling is bubbling as they all have fun competing with each other. Even Hamish is having a blast.

Among the others, only Lilith kept a close eye on Vera. Her acquired senses from the Demon Realm are telling her that something is not right with their newest addition to the group. She had noticed that Vera was quiet during dinner. She was watching them, observing, until she excused herself. When she returned, she was still silent. She does not participate with the conversation even if it’s about the Order or magic or Belgrave. Her back is always straight when she’s seated like she’s not letting down her guard. Her walls are fully erect. Based on her analysis, she can tell that Vera is guarding the Alpha. It’s the only explanation she can think of. After her slipped up earlier at the nursery, she was able to smile and appreciate the room. She was genuinely happy about it too but since the dinner, her mood had shifted. 

She had tried asking Timber what’s up with Alpha after her hide forced hers to kneel down but her hide was mute. It has not been like that before. Timber was straightforward, blunt, and brave. Its fear towards the Alpha is something for her to be gravely concerned about and she knows that Jack is concerned about it too. Gabrielle is still new to realize what happened earlier but Jack isn’t. Their eyes met for a moment and they understood one another. 

Jack did not buy what Vera told Hamish. He does not think that Hamish bought it either. What they heard was not sound a bottle of lotion dropping. It sounded like a glass breaking, shattering. Plus, he’s sure he heard a faint ringing which means Vera had done magic before opening the door. He observed her discreetly and noticed how she’s keeping a distance from them. There is a battle raging inside her and he wonders if Vera is strong enough to compete with the Alpha.

A scent of blood stopped them from playing. It was like something had snuff out the fun in the room and they were all put on alarm…except for Vera. Hamish was the one who quickly turned to her direction. He is well acquainted to the smell of her blood due to her previous illness. He is certain it was hers. He quickly rushed to her side and it almost startled her. 

“Let me see”, he said.

She had not realized it, did not even feel it. She was trying to suppress the emotions threatening to resurface. She was too focused that she had not realized her nails are already digging into her palms. Vera glanced down at her clenched hands being held Hamish’s. As she opened them, she felt the sting. Blood greeted her eyes. Her long nails went in deep.

It made everyone aware how great she’s struggling with the Alpha. They thought she’s handling it well because she appeared to be composed, well, Randall and Gabrielle thought of that for a moment. Jack and Lilith knew better. Vera remained quiet, refusing to meet Hamish’s eyes. He whispered something and healed her hands.

“We should call it a night”, Hamish then said.

The others did not argue. It’s not the time to be stubborn. If the Alpha is fighting Vera for control, her house is not the place to be. 

\--------------------------------

Hamish took care of everything. He cleaned up the mess left by his friends while Vera remained frozen on the spot at the sofa. When he’s done, he scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. She was tensed in his arms but he did not say a word. He put her down the bed and took her favorite pajama from her drawer and helped her change. She did not protest when usually, she would hate being treated like an invalid. Hamish went on until she’s ready for bed. 

She did not fight him when he laid her down and covered her with the blanket. He changed quickly before joining her. She tensed again when he wrapped his arms around her. He already knew why. Tundra is already telling him at the back of his mind.

“I am not the enemy, Alpha”, she held her breath, “I will not hurt her and our son. I will not leave her or abandon her or ask her to leave. I will not do to her what was done to you back then which means it will not be done to you ever again. I will not let them”, he whispered into her ear.

Vera remained facing the other way, keeping her back on him. Her eyes slowly turned red.

“You’re Tundra’s champion. I can never trust Tundra”, she responded but he knows he was not talking to Vera. He was talking to Alpha.

His own eyes lit up in silver as Tundra took over.

“Things are different now, Alpha. I did not want to take your place but it was a decision I must make to prevent things from going worse than it already was. The war had taken a huge toll on all of us, especially you. I must admit that it was a drastic measure we took but it was not to hurt you, but to uphold the oath we swore”, Tundra explained.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to survive in a world alone? I hopped from champion to champion, completely at a loss of purpose while all of you were happy together, a family. None of you bothered to come look for me. After centuries, I ceased to exist. Even when I was right there in front of you, you did not even smell me because you already forgot me. All of you did. I became a myth”, Alpha expressed.

Tundra held her tighter.

“I am sorry. There is no excuse for all of my shortcomings. I was not as great of a leader as you were, but I tried. I am sorry that I failed to be there for you when you needed me the most”, he apologized.

Alpha scoffed.

“…and now I found ‘the’ champion. She’s the Champion that was foretold a long time ago. I thought it was the last one but I was wrong. It was Vera. I had returned and the moment you feel like I’m a threat, you will kick me out again, cast me away. It’s what you all do when you don’t know how to handle power”, Alpha retorted.

“Power does not mean bloodshed, Alpha. There is a difference”, Tundra argued.

“We were at war, Tundra. We do horrible things at war in order to win. I will not sacrifice my pack to fit in your vision of proper leading. I was there to win and preserve the lives of our champions but you thought that was evil”, Alpha argued back.

Tundra sighed. 

“We are no longer at war. There’s no battle to win anymore. Can we not start over? If not for ourselves, for our champions? For the first time in a very long time, peace had been established between Knights and the Order after that great ordeal. It’s because of them. They love each other. I am certain you feel that. They had fought odds to establish this peace and harmony. I would not let that go into waste and I want you to be part of this new world. I cannot bring back the past and undo your pain but I can try to make it up to you. Give us a chance”, Tundra proposed.

It was a desperate plea. The rift between Alpha and them is a big threat to Hamish and Vera’s relationship. It’s something they cannot afford right now, not if it’s Christopher’s future at risk.

“I am not the only one feeling this way, Tundra. You might need to teach your champion a thing or two if he wants this to last”, Alpha informed him.

“I will…do you really think it’s her? The champion that was foretold?” Tundra asked.

“I am a hundred percent certain. I felt it the moment I got close to her. This is that time, Tundra. Everything will be restored but only after the storm and I can feel the storm coming”, Alpha answered.

“Then we must prepare ourselves”, Tundra muttered.

“Yes, and don’t be a coward this time and flee, because I will not, not again”, Alpha replied.

“Truce?” Tundra asked.

“Truce”, Alpha accepted before they both relinquished the control back to Vera and Hamish.

She quickly turned to him with a frown.

“What was that?” she asked in confusion.

“I think our hides caught up with one another”, he answered.

“You mean, they possessed us?” she asked in alarm.

“In a way, yes. We call it surfacing. What Midnight did was plain possession. He took over without Gabrielle’s consent, forced her even. I agreed to Tundra and since your hold on Alpha was not that strong, it was easy for her to surface. It’s just that, I had never been dormant for that long before”, he explained.

The knowledge that Hamish makes it sound so natural calmed her down. Maybe it is a thing in the werewolves’ world to let the wolves out from time to time, as long as it’s agreed upon. Maybe she and Alpha can come to an agreement.

“Do you think things are going to be fine now?” she asked.

“I hope so. If not, we are going to make it fine for Christopher”, he answered.

She snuggled closer to him as she finally let herself surrender to sleep. It’s been a long day.


	12. First Day Back to Work

Vera finds solace in visiting baby Christopher. Whenever she’s next to his incubator, she forgets everything else. She’s just filled with joy and happiness and love. It’s all too much she never thought feeling that much love is possible. Of course, she had felt it before and the weight that had crushed her when it was taken from her. Right now, she has overwhelming hope that it will not be the same. This love, this happiness will not be taken away again from her. She will not let it. 

Hamish always felt the happiest seeing Vera with their child at the hospital. He always took his time by the door to stare at them for a little while. It was a sight that he feared wouldn’t happen for months. Now, it’s right in front of him. The woman she loves and the fruit of their love for one another…his family, his world right within his reach. They’re there. They’re real, no more a fantasy. 

“Are you going to stand there forever?” Vera asked, almost whispering in order not to disturb anyone.

He smiled and walked to her side and sat down. Their hands intertwined with one another as they watched their son together. 

“He looks so beautiful. He looks like you, strong, brave, smart and kind”, he muttered.

She shook her head.

“No, I don’t want him to be like me. I want him to be like his father. I want him to be selfless, loyal, a leader. I want him to have the degree of emotions you have, the strength to go through lengths for your friends, your family, your pack. I want him to have your honor. I want him to have your resolve, your determination, your stubbornness”, she said.

He smiled.

“You’re much stubborn than me, you know”, she chuckled at that, “I think you have far more positive qualities than me. You wouldn’t want our kid to become an alcoholic like me”, he teased.

“…alcohol aficionado, from what I can recall”, that raised an eyebrow in Hamish. She remembered. “Besides, I’m not exactly a good role model. I have my moments”,

Like the time she killed a Council member so they would grant her Imperium. It was a necessary action to save the world or so she told herself. She did not like it but she did not feel remorse about it either. That’s the thing with murder. It gets easier over time, just like when she shot Salvador with her gun. She felt nothing towards her. She felt for Alyssa and Jack but not for Salvador, not for the life she ended. Vera had lived a life in magic and the world of supernatural for so long, she had seen and done it all. She had taken lives through magic and not. The war took a piece of her and she never got it back. After that, after she had closed herself up to the world and kept everyone else at a distance, death stopped bothering her. She stopped feeling anything towards her own death, death of others, especially death caused by her. She can just shake them off like it’s a natural occurrence. She does not want that for her son. It’s not a good trait to inherit. 

“I would want him to have your heart”, she added.

Even though she did not say it out loud, he seems to understand what she was trying to say. It’s an odd connection between them. They caught on each other’s drifts. He was the one who discovered what she did in order to obtain Imperium. He found the bag under the bed. He saw the look in her eyes when she found out that he knew. It was not remorse for what she’s done. It was disappointment he saw, disappointment that he found out. She said it was a necessary thing to do. She had compartmentalized and justified it as something of business-like.

“You have a bigger heart than mine. I don’t know how you cannot see that but you have. The others say you don’t care, that you’re cold. You think of that for yourself but it’s not what I see and the other Knights don’t see that as well. If you’re cold, if you don’t care, if you don’t have a heart, I will not be here right now. We will not be here right now. You wouldn’t have gone through the things you went through and your life could’ve been so much easier because we all would’ve been dead. It was your heart that saved us. You saw past differences, rivalries. You ignored the taboo. You went up against the Council and did what your heart tell you to do. It was so much easier to just let us perish. It was justifiable but you did not allow it because you have a heart. Isn’t it something you would want for our son?” he replied.

Hamish saw the world differently than her like he sees her differently than she sees herself. His lens is more vibrant, more colorful, positive than her dull, lifeless one. She also knew he wouldn’t lie to her about his view of the world and if he sees her like that, perhaps, it might be true. Perhaps, she’s better than she thought she is.

“When you put it that way, how can I refuse to want that for him?” she muttered.

She rests her head on his shoulder and they resumed watching over their little angel as he takes his time to prepare for the outside world.

\--------------------------------

“They can wait, Vera. I think it is understandable for the Chancellor to have a maternity leave”, Jack heard Hamish said when he got in Vera’s house.

Gabrielle had bought a few more things for Christopher’s nursery room and asked him to bring it to Vera’s house. He felt weird for eavesdropping but he cannot bring himself to interrupt what’s obviously a weird Mommy and Daddy argument.

“I am not just a Chancellor of Belgrave University. I am also the Grand Magus and I’ve been gone long enough. Maternity leave does not exactly have the same guidelines when it comes to a Grand Magus, not that there were many female Grand Magus, which is exactly why there aren’t many female Grand Magus in the Order and I don’t intend for them to doubt my abilities because of my uterus”, Vera argued back.

“I am not here to discriminate you or to say that you can’t fulfill your duties because you’re a mother but what I was trying to tell you is that it’s not that bad to take a few more days even weeks off so you can rest. I am just looking after your health”, Hamish insisted.

“My health is perfectly fine, Hamish. Christopher will be here in a few weeks and I would like to get on ahead and finish all the piled up work I left behind so I can spend more time with him when he gets home”, she explained.

It’s not what Hamish is worried about. He knows her health is fine. It’s at its peak to be exact. What he is worried about is Alpha. He’s worried that she might lost control and the Council will find out about her secret. It’s not even that long since she became a werewolf. She has not transformed since which is an irregularity in their standard. All of them transformed on the first day their hides bonded with them. Vera didn’t. So far, the only things that changed with her are her eyes (from time to time), her temper, her strength, and her appetite. He’s worried, as well as the others, that something destructive will happen once she transformed.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt”, both turned to see Jack with shopping bags in his hands, “Gabby asked me to drop these off for the nursery”, Jack said.

Hamish frowned at the bags.

“…more baby stuff?” he asked.

“Don’t blame me. The girl couldn’t stop shopping”, Jack shrugged.

“Thank you, Mr. Morton. If you’ll be so kind and take those to the nursery, I am running late”, Vera said.

Jack noticed Hamish’s worried look. The poor man couldn’t stop Vera. No one actually can.

“Going to work already?” he asked like he’s clueless.

Deep inside, Vera’s temper is running low. She appreciates the concern but the continuous insistence is starting to annoy her. Just because she’s a mother now and a werewolf, doesn’t mean she cannot do her job anymore. There are things relying on her role as both Chancellor and Grand Magus and it includes the lives of all of them and her son. As much as she likes hanging around the house with Hamish and preparing for family life, she cannot risk giving the Council a reason to kick her out of the job. They’re already having doubts because of her relationship with Hamish and having his child. Incompetency will be their weapon against her.

“Yes, Mr. Morton. I don’t have the same luxury as others to slack around and drink all day. Please lock the doors when you leave”, she then turned to Hamish, “See you at dinner”, she said and left.

The two Knights watched her as she got in her car and drove.

“You’re worried she’ll lost it out there”, it is a statement, not a question.

“I don’t know how to tell her that. Patience is not one of her virtues right now”, Hamish said.

“Alpha still on edge?” Jack asked.

“I don’t think so. Tundra spoke with Alpha few nights back. Things started to settle in after that but I am worried that it’s only temporary. She still has not transformed. I am scared it will happen in a wrong time”, he answered.

“Wait, Tundra talked to Alpha? How?” Jack asked again.

“Tundra surfaced as well as Alpha. Vera and I had been dormant for some time and after that, the hides were calmer. Tundra never told me though what they talked about”, Hamish answered.

Jack wanted to ask Silverback about that but maybe when he’s alone. 

“Well, if Tundra does not seem to be worried, maybe Alpha is taking it easy on Vera. She just gave birth, you know. Maybe werewolves have soft spot for mothers”, Jack suggested.

It put Hamish’s mind at ease. Maybe he’s right. No Knights ever reached motherhood before. Maybe Alpha does not want to force Vera just yet.

“I hope that’s the case”, he replied.

\---------------------------------

It was hell for Vera when she arrived on campus. No one had expected her back so early. Her pregnancy was quite controversial at Belgrave but she paid no attention because she was dying at the time but now, she can feel everyone’s stare at her. She hates the attention. She felt like she’s sixteen again, teenage mother without father. She’s not sixteen though and her son got a father so she held her chin up and marched on. Her composure and confidence caught on and soon the stares disappeared. Her usual effect on them came back. The teachers congratulated her and extended the same towards Hamish. She knows they’re talking behind her back, how the Chancellor had a love child with a younger employee, not that Hamish is too young for her. It is all childish gossip and she understood it. Alpha does not.

Alpha hates it, she can tell that much. She can feel her protesting inside. Yes, her hide is a she, and quite a feminist too. It took almost her entire energy to reign her in, not wanting to murder one of her staff. It was a lot of work but she got through it without any bloodshed, until she heard a ringing.

“Fuck…” she cursed under her breath while she’s in the middle of the board meeting.

Thankfully, it was low enough no one heard her. It was painful but she bore it until it passes. Once the meeting was over, she rushed to the ladies’ room and locked the door. 

“Please, not now”, she said to Alpha as her eyes glowed in red.

Someone had used magic. She knows that now. It was the magic alarm but she had not experience it as intense as that before. It only means that the magic that was done is not a simple spell. Her first guess went towards Praxis. She knows they still exist out there even without Alyssa. They will only find another leader and continue what they started. If that’s true and they’re still practicing, they will cause another eruption any time soon.

Alpha growled inside her. It’s not a protest towards her suspicion but towards the possible future apocalypse. Vera snarled at her. Alpha was partly at fault for that mess. She was inside Salvador and she did not stop her from leading those tourists. She let her issue clouded her judgment and now, they might be facing another danger because of those tourists.

The ringing started again and she landed on her knees while gripping the sink. It’s way more intense now and more painful to ignore. Alpha’s growl came out of her mouth and claws came out of her fingers. Her mind knew she’s transforming and she cannot hold Alpha back so she made the quick decision to spare the campus of a very angry werewolf.

“Ab hoc loco”, she casted and the last thing she saw was trees and then the dirt on the ground…and then blood.


	13. First Kill

Gabrielle and Jack are on class when they heard the first ringing. He handled it better than Gabrielle who had to pretend she’s getting something out of her bag to hide the pain on her face. They both knew someone used a powerful spell nearby.

‘Did you hear that?’ Randall texted.

‘Yes. Gabby and I are fine. You and Lilith?’ Jack replied.

‘Yeah, we’re good. Hamish is not replying yet’, 

‘I’ll make an excuse and check on him’, Jack texted and put his phone in his pocket.

He turned to Gabrielle who is rubbing her fingers on her forehead to ease the headache.

“I need to check on Hamish”, he whispered to her.

A wave of alarm shot through her as that thought sinks in. She quickly turned to Jack.

“Skip Hamish. We need to check on Vera”, then just like that, Gabrielle sighed out loud and made a whole show of fainting.

Jack caught on and pretended to be shocked all of a sudden. Their professor instructed him to take Gabrielle to the infirmary which became their excuse to get out of class.

“That was great”, he said.

“Won best actress in my drama class”, she replied.

…and they walked as fast as they can to find Hamish and then find Vera.

Hamish is already at the hallway when the two found him. He’s frantic and on the edge.

“Have you seen Vera?” he asked right away.

“No. We made an excuse to get out of class to check up on you. Randall said you weren’t replying so I said I’ll go see how you’re doing. Did you call her? I heard there’s a board meeting today”, Jack answered.

He overheard that from one of the professors earlier. It could partly the reason why Vera insisted on coming to work. She wanted to be there because they will discuss the budget of the school for the entire school year.

“I tried calling her but she’s not answering. I checked at the conference room. She wasn’t there. I don’t know where she is”, Hamish revealed.

That’s when the second ringing started. The three groaned but Jack and Hamish recovered faster than Gabrielle. Jack rubbed his hand over her back until Midnight calmed down. The ringing was longer too.

“Could it be Vera doing the spell?” she asked.

Hamish shook his head.

“No, I know her magic. Tundra can sense it. It’s not her”, then…a faint ringing that only took two seconds overlapped with the powerful ringing they are hearing. Jack frowned at him. “Now, that’s Vera’s magic”, Hamish answered.

\----------------------------------

The three werewolves ran without transforming but their speed did not diminish. They cannot risk being discovered into their animal form at school grounds in broad daylight. Tundra took charge in tracking Vera. He’s very familiar with her scent and it did not take long before they found her in the middle of woods. 

Hamish got almost rooted to the ground upon seeing her as well as Jack and Gabrielle. Vera is on the ground, naked and covered in blood. Her hair is long enough to cover her upper body. She did not seem to notice their arrival because her focus is still on elsewhere. Her body is trembling and Hamish quickly removed his coat and wrapped it around her. He’s not sure whether she’s trembling due to the cold weather or due to shock. His eyes fell on where she’s staring. There is a dead woman’s body right in front of her. She’s just a student’s age, young and could have had a promising future. Her chest was ripped open, heart missing. It’s definitely the work of Alpha. He quickly cupped Vera’s face and forced her to look at him instead of the dead girl’s corpse. 

“Vera, look at me…just look at me and nothing else”,

Her eyes met his and he felt sick at seeing how everything is mixed up in them. Fear, confusion, despair, hollow…all of them filling her up. He can only sympathized. They’ve all been there before. They’ve all had their first kill after transforming and it’s not exactly Vera’s first kill but it’s her first to eat someone’s heart out.

Gabrielle is like in a déjà vu moment. It’s what she looked like after she had killed Alyssa and Randall was there to cover her up and coaxed her back to reality after being in shock. It is not easy and she knows Vera will have a hard time getting through this, harder than what she went through. The Grand Magus does not particularly like being out of control. 

Jack averted his eyes out of respect up until Hamish covered her up. He noticed the dead body first and recognized the girl as one of the students at Belgrave. She was in sophomore year and they shared one class with each other. His brain went to work since Hamish already got his hands full with dealing with Vera while Gabrielle is sort of reliving a nightmare. They’re in the middle of the woods. What would that girl do in the middle of the woods? Vera was supposed to be in a board meeting at school and she got there too. They heard her use her magic right in the middle of the second ringing. It’s possible that she went to address where the second ringing was coming from and suddenly transformed in the middle of it and lost control. Although he doubted that Vera would willingly go out like that to deal with it, not at the state she’s in with Alpha. Gabrielle has been a werewolf for months now and she’s still mastering control over the ringing and the transforming. Vera wouldn’t risk transforming in public which would mean that she had used her magic to get out of campus to avoid that. Her magic possibly took her into the woods and the girl could have been there. Wrong place. Wrong time.

But why was the girl there?

Something does not add up and he couldn’t piece it together. It’s highly unlikely for someone, a student, to be this deep in the woods without any agenda. If the girl was the one causing the ringing, she’s too far from the campus and the ringing shouldn’t have been that intense.

“Can you get up?” he heard Hamish asked Vera.

She did not respond. It’s like the person she was left her body there and she’s somewhere else. Hamish did not hesitate and lift her up, carried her in his arms. Suddenly, she felt lighter. Vera hates being scooped up like that. She said it makes her feel like a damsel in distress. He would tell her that he wants to make her feel special, like a queen that she is. She did not make any protest now which is alarming in on itself. She’s far from them right now.

“I am taking her to her house. We cannot risk anyone seeing her like this”, he then said to Jack and Gabrielle.

“Alright…I’ll go tell Randall and Lilith what happened and then we’ll clean this up”, Jack replied and with that, Hamish ran in a flash.

Jack now turned to a frozen Gabrielle beside him. She’s not in shock. She’s just having a very severe case of déjà vu. Of course, he can understand. He made peace with that. It was not her fault. It was caused by a very angry Midnight who thought Alyssa posed a large threat to everyone at the time and to a point, Midnight was right. Alyssa and the Praxis deliberately caused Tartarus eruption to force Vera’s hands to give her the Fors Factoram. When Vera still refused, she stole her magic and held it hostage. She knew that Vera wouldn’t have a choice but work with her in order to stop the apocalypse. Midnight wouldn’t let Alyssa walked out with the Fors Factoram and distribute magic, unrestricted magic, to everyone. So Midnight did what the others couldn’t, what he couldn’t. Gabrielle was just shoved in the middle of it all.

“You’re going to be okay helping me with this?” he asked while hands gesturing at her outfit.

He does not want to rub to her face what she went through. Gabrielle wouldn’t like that. So, he made it sound like the concern is about the mess of the dead body, the blood that could damage her precious pointed heels. Gabrielle frowned, scoffed, then rolled her eyes. 

“What do you men always think women are inhibited by our fashion? We can do things men can do in style, you know”, she snapped and then marched towards the body first and started cleaning up.

He smiled knowing his approach works. He just hopes that whatever approach Hamish tries on Vera works as well.

\----------------------------------

Vera remained mute up until they reached her house. He immediately brought her to her bathroom, filled the tub with water to clean her up. Her body will not stop shaking while her eyes gaze somewhere he couldn’t reach. She does not object, comment, or anything on whatever he wants her to do. He helped her get into the tub hoping that the water will pull her out of her trance but nothing. He gently removed the blood stains on her skin so she wouldn’t have to see them. He had a bad feeling of her going to work today but she insisted. She wanted to get control back of her life and he understood. He understood the reason she did not say earlier. It was meant to protect them. She needed to hold on to her position as Chancellor and Grand Magus to uphold the treaty which protects their lives. He knew deep down, Vera wanted to stay at home or go to the hospital again to visit Christopher but she chose to go to work despite not being fully prepared for Alpha.

“Vera, please…talk to me. At least, let me know that you can hear me”, he pleaded.

He is desperate. He does not know how to handle a very shock Vera. She has never been this way before. Suddenly, he felt a pang of guilt. He had caused this because he was selfish enough to keep her. He did not want to let her go so he agreed on allowing Alpha to bond with her without her permission. Now, she’s a werewolf, the Alpha no less, and does not know how to deal with it. Is this the kind of life he brought her back for? Vera is not equipped for the life of a Knight like them. It does not thrill her the way it thrills them. She has known power, more power than they know so it takes a lot for her to be enticed with any other forms of power. On top of it all, she’s the Grand Magus of the Order. Grand Magus is not supposed to be a werewolf which means she has to hide what she is now forever if she intends to remain the Grand Magus. He’s selfishness had put her in a delicate position which could damage her.

“I did not know what happened”, she whispered but his ears caught on.

It’s the first time she spoke since they found her in the woods.

“It’s alright. It’s not your fault. It happens to all of us”, he said, trying to coax her.

“That was not supposed to happen”, he frowned, “I was getting out. I was getting out and it went wrong. That’s not supposed to happen”, she muttered as tears rolled down silently from her eyes.

“What do you mean? What is not supposed to happen?” he asked as he rubs circles on her arm.

“The girl…the woods…I wasn’t going there. I was not trying to go there. I wanted to get out of campus and I ended up in the woods…then, there she was”, she shut her eyes trying to squeeze out the memories but she’s failing, “I can’t remember much. It’s all a blur. I can hear her screaming. She’s in pain and then it went all quiet…too quiet. Then, there’s blood everywhere”,

Alpha had come out and killed the girl. He knows that much. She transformed.

“I was not going there. I killed that girl, Hamish”, that last bit came out in a breathy voice, almost like she did not want to say it out loud because it will make it more official.

He got into the tub regardless that he’s fully dressed and wrapped his arms around her. He knew this is bound to happen but he’s not prepared to see her like this, to see the cost of his desire, his need to keep her alive. It hurts. He is literally hurting for her. His heart is aching as he holds her trembling body in a bathtub filled with now lukewarm water.

“It was not your fault”, he made sure to be close to her ear, “It was not your fault”, he repeated.

He needs that to sink in. He needs her to know that it’s not her fault. 

“…but it was. My magic did not work”, he frowned again, “I teleported and I supposed to be back here but something went wrong with the spell and it brought me there. It was my fault”, she disagreed.

Tundra had already informed him why that happened.

“It was not your fault”, he repeated knowing it really wasn’t her fault.


	14. Alpha Grand Magus

COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS

Once again, Vera found herself in the middle of the woods but it’s not the same scenario as before with all the blood on the ground and a dead girl next to her. No. It’s the same woods she found herself in after she gave birth to Christopher. Is she dead again?

“You’re not dead if that’s what you’re wondering”, someone said behind her.

Vera turned around and saw Alyssa Drake.

“Ms. Drake, that’s kind of hard to believe considering I am talking to you right now”, she muttered.

Not that she’s not glad to see Alyssa but if it means she’s dead then she’s a bit disappointed. She had hoped to live longer now because she’s a werewolf but maybe death is her fate after all.

“No, you’re not talking to Ms. Drake”, she said.

Vera frowned. Something in her demeanor is different. Her eyes are seeing Alyssa but the smile on her face, the way she looks at her are different. She’s not Alyssa Drake.

“Who are you then?” Vera asked.

“…the reason you’re still alive”, she answered.

It does not take long for Vera to realize who exactly she’s talking to. 

“Alpha”, she concluded and the other gave a satisfying smile.

“I felt you’ll be more comfortable talking to me with her appearance. You seemed to be fond of her so I took her form. I can see you have questions and a growing feeling of disdain towards me”, Alpha stated.

Things came back to Vera fast. The dead girl, the blood, her naked in the woods…all of those rushed in her brain and her temper rose.

“That’s quite an understatement”, without the Alpha in her, she’s very good at keeping herself controlled, “How did I get here?” she asked.

“I pulled you here. Don’t worry. You’re safe in the arms of Tundra’s champion. I needed to talk to you and since you kept on pushing me out of your brain out there, I have to force you to be here so you can listen”, Alpha answered.

It is true. Vera has been trying her best to push and suppress Alpha so she wouldn’t transform or lost her temper again like she did the night they arrived at her house. She’s just avoiding hurting anyone but it still ended that way.

“You killed that girl”, it does not sound quite right to her ears, “We killed that girl”, she muttered.

Alpha nodded sensing her distraught and empathy towards the girl they just killed.

“It has to be done. Our job is to eliminate those who threatens the natural order of things and endangering innocent people”, she responded.

Vera glared at her.

“Tell me how that young girl was endangering innocent people?” she asked.

Alpha only stared at her and allowed her to recall things in full details. Vera recalled going to the bathroom to hide from everyone while she battles Alpha, preventing her from coming out when the second ringing hit her. Someone had used a powerful spell which caused her immense pain. 

“She was the one who used magic earlier”, she remembered.

“Yes. It was not just simple spell. It was necromancy, a dark powerful spell. The others don’t know how to classify spells from the ringing alone but I’ve been around longer than them and have been out there. My previous champion had dealt with that kind of magic so I am familiar with how it sounds. That girl in the woods was doing the same thing. We had to stop her from hurting anyone else. She already did. When you woke up, the others will inform you of a young student who died on school grounds. You’ve seen it happen before and you thought you stopped it but it’s not over”, Alpha explained.

Vera closed her eyes and sighed.

“Praxis…that girl was a member of Praxis”, she breathed out loud.

If they’re back again to cause more havoc, they have a problem at their hands. Praxis members caused an eruption before by using spells without sacrifices and those were easy spells, ordinary spells. If they are now dealing with necromancy, they will cause another eruption sooner than the last time. Then, something occurred to Vera as she looked back to Alpha.

“You’re the one who intercepted my magic. I was trying to get to my house and you diverted my magic to get to the girl. How did you do that?” she asked.

Alpha looked very impressed. She has been searching for the right champion to bond with, the one that was foretold. She had not realized that the champion she was looking for was the Grand Magus of the Order. It only made sense now considering it was meant to be. It’s part of the history, a history she will let Vera discover for herself.

“There is so much for you to learn but yes, I can do that. We are one in a way. Our minds are one. Our hearts are one. Our powers are one. Together we are stronger than anyone else but we must be ready. I have a bad feeling about the coming days”, she answered.

Vera wanted her to elaborate on that but she’s more concerned about the growing problem with Praxis again. She should have ended them all back then when she had the chance. If it was not for Jack and Hamish, all Praxis members would have been dead by now. Too much for morals…

“Well, in that case, we have to start to work together. I understand the need to stop Praxis before they cause an apocalypse but you cannot force me to transform each time you hear ringing. Our situation is more complicated than that. It must remain a secret that I am a werewolf now or else, the Council will remove me from being Grand Magus and the treaty with the Knights will be destroyed. That’s why I was pushing you and stopping you from coming out. If any other disciples saw us earlier, we’re done for”, 

She saw a knowing smirk on Alpha’s lips and she got exactly what she was thinking.

“You’re not killing the Council”,

“You are no fun”, Alpha snapped.

“I am serious. You said we are one. If there’s a threat, we can stop it by magic together. You already got control over my magic. We can work on that and if it’s really necessary then, we transform but after we exhausted the first option first. Aside from the danger of being discovered, I am also not a fan of my clothes being ripped to pieces each time you want to come out and play”, Vera proposed.

It is a sound proposition. Alpha can understand the situation her champion is in. If they intend to stop Praxis, they must not cause the Council to come after them.

“Alright, we do it your way but if it’s not working as well as you hope, we do it my way”, Alpha said.

“Deal”, Vera agreed.

“Deal”, Alpha replied.

“One question, what do you mean I have so much to learn? About what? About being a Knight or about you?” Vera suddenly asked.

Alpha smiled, genuinely smiled at her.

“About us”, she answered.

\-----------------------------------

Vera gasped and sat right up as she found herself back in her bedroom. She is now in her pajama and covered with blanket. It’s already dark outside and she’s alone on her bed. She’s back in reality. She can feel Alpha at the back of her head but she’s dormant, seemingly happy about the common ground they found together. She decided to get out of bed to find Hamish. Surely, he did not leave her in the middle of the night.

When she got close to the stairs, she heard voices talking downstairs. It’s the Knights having a meeting in her living room. Thanks to her super hearing, she can hear them clearly without getting close.

“Are you sure it’s Praxis?” Jack asked.

“Yeah…we went to that girl’s dorm room and it’s filled with spell books from Vera’s inventory, and they were powerful ones too. No wonder that ringing was so intense”, Lilith answered.

“If the Praxis is back, they will cause another eruption again”, Randall concluded.

“It’s not up for debate. We have to stop them”, Gabrielle cut in.

“I don’t argue with that but I am more concerned for Vera. The death of that girl took a toll on her and I need to ground her first before we do this. I cannot just exclude her from this problem. Alpha wouldn’t let it. Alpha intercepted her magic earlier which brought her to the woods”, she heard Hamish finally spoke.

“Wait. Alpha can do that? Can all of our hides intercept our magic?” Lilith asked.

“No, only Alpha and in this case, only with Vera. They’re special case”, Hamish answered.

Vera listened closely.

“How special?” Randall asked.

“In one of the journals, it was written that the Alpha is only meant to bond with the destined champion who holds great power. For centuries, Alpha searched for that champion where she can bond with fully. It’s like the Alpha’s other half. Once the Alpha found that champion, together they will be unstoppable”, Jack was the one who answered.

Is this what Alpha meant in her dream? Is she the champion she was looking for?

“It could be anyone really. Salvador Grant was powerful too”, Gabrielle muttered and she got a point.

“No. It is Vera”, she can hear the certainty in Hamish’s voice, “Alpha’s first champion was the first Grand Magus of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. That Grand Magus was the one who created the Vade Maecum and the Fors Factoram. Alpha and that Grand Magus used to rule until the first Great War when her champion died. Alpha had tried to find the champion for her. Vera is that champion. History repeats itself. Vera is the most powerful practitioner out there. The cancer is gone from her but the Fors Factoram remains. She is unrestricted to perform any kind of magic and with the Alpha inside her, she can literally create another Vade Maecum or destroyed it entirely if she wishes to”, Hamish explained.

Vera gripped the railing of the stairs. It’s not in the archives of the Order that the first Grand Magus was a werewolf. It made sense considering the Knights of St. Christopher used to be part of the Order as its protector. She wondered what happened all those years ago that caused the Order to kick the Knights out. All of the generations had been taught that the werewolves are the mortal enemy of the Order but now she wondered whether it was done out of envy. Were they trying to prevent another Alpha Grand Magus? If so, why? It could have been a great asset to the organization. If an Alpha Grand Magus exists, he or she will be better protector of the entire Order.

“This is good news, right? I mean, if Vera is the most powerful being now with the Alpha, she can stop Praxis altogether”, Randall expressed.

“It’s not going to be that simple, Randall. Allowing complete bond with Alpha will open her up to endless power and temptation. It can be a good thing or a bad thing. The first Grand Magus soon succumbed to darkness after years of resisting the temptation of using magic for his own good. It was what lead to his downfall and caused the first Great War”, Jack said.

“Well, our Grand Magus is not like that. She resisted the Vade Maecum while it was in her possession and trusted it upon you to guard it and destroyed it. If there’s anyone who can handle being an Alpha Grand Magus, it’s her”, Gabrielle said with full confidence.

Vera smiled a little at the vote of confidence.

“It is up to her and I will tell her when she recovered from earlier”, Hamish said.

“I am recovered and I can handle it”, Vera interrupted and all heads turned towards her.

Hamish smiled at her and nodded.

“I never said you cannot, my love”, he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda lousy chapter...sorry about that. I've just been drowning with schoolwork and day job so...bear with me for the meantime.


	15. Broken Crib

The threat of Praxis is something not to be ignored. With all the new information she discovered about herself, about Alpha, about the past, she must learn to be a proper champion of Alpha and used her new strength as Grand Magus. She understood the worries surrounding her. The first Alpha Grand Magus failed to resist the temptation of power but she had resisted power all her life. She will be lying if she says it’s easy because it’s not. Coming from nothing and suddenly being opened up to a whole other world full of magic and power, it’s hard not to be tempted to use to advance her status but she resisted. Everything she accomplished, she worked hard for it and earned it fair and square. To avoid further temptation, she stopped pursuing higher positions and remained Temple Magus to ensure the safety of Belgrave chapter. Her hand was only forced to step up due to Edward Coventry. Hence, she was appointed as Grand Magus. 

The Vade Maecum was not also part of her dream to have. She had kept a part of it as a favor from the former Grand Magus who served as her mentor years ago. When she discovered the book is indestructible, she had kept it hidden from everyone and made them believed it was already destroyed, a plan which eventually backfired and cost her Alyssa Drake. Nevertheless, the book stayed with her for months and she resisted temptation every single day of those months. She basically mastered the art of resisting. She knows she can handle whatever temptation being an Alpha Grand Magus has to offer.

Hamish had explained to her Alpha’s history from the top and she listened with keen ears. She needs to know everything if she is to this right. They made a deal that together they will stop Praxis and she must succeed in dealing things her way or Alpha will take matters into her own hands or rather paws and murder everyone who gets in the way.

“I can understand why she was so angry. All she ever did was fight for the cause and she was forgotten for a very long time. Her champion let her down and no one else measured up after the first Grand Magus. Those champions either were too weak or too selfish and used her to their advantage. I would have been pissed too if I were her. To return here and see all of you, together, intact, doing great…those were enough to send someone on a frenzy”, she realized.

It was why Alpha was boiling that night when they all had dinner at her kitchen. Her emotions mixed up with Vera’s and she almost lost control right then and there.

“Yes, Alpha wasn’t lucky like the rest of the hides but it’s all in the past. None of us can go back and correct it. I am not even sure it’s meant to be corrected. I think it’s all meant to happen”, 

Vera frowned.

“Think about it. Alpha was meant to find you. All these years, you’re the champion she’s been looking for. If those things in the past did not happen, if she had not been away and became Salvador’s hide, if you had not killed Salvador, if you had not lost your magic and got pregnant and almost died…Alpha wouldn’t have found you. The prophecy wouldn’t be fulfilled. I think when they say things happen for a reason, they really mean it”, he explained.

She had not thought about it that way. She’s not one to believe in cliches and she had not expected Hamish to be that but he got a point. If one of those things did not happen, they wouldn’t end up where they are right now. If it’s a good thing or a bad thing, she does not know but one thing is for sure. She will do everything in her power to stop Praxis from ending the world because her son needs to live in it and he needs to live in a world where it’s not being threatened by people who don’t care whether their desires affect others or not. She will make this world a better one for Christopher even if she has to kill to do that…

Well, that last part of her thought was not really hers. It was Alpha’s. She was very much willing to kill pretty much everyone to ensure the world’s safety.

“Alpha and I talked while I was sleeping. We agreed to do it my way. No transforming, just my magic. She can access it as well so she wouldn’t be shut out or suppressed within me. We’re one of the same as crazy as it sounds. If my way fails, she’ll come out to play so I need to learn how to make this work”, she said to Hamish.

Tundra had already given him pointers how to teach Vera to bond with Alpha and he is certain Vera will have a hard time because main part of it is relinquishing control, trusting Alpha, and so far, their relationship has been strained. Alpha had tried to take over from time to time and Vera did her best in suppressing her. It is good news that they had come to an agreement. It is a progress but to surrender control and trust Alpha, it will give Vera a very hard time.

“Don’t worry. I am here. I will help you”, he said as he allows her to lean into him.

“I’m sorry to scare you earlier. I should have handled it better. It’s not like it’s the first time I killed someone”, she apologized while burying her head into his chest.

“It’s different and you know that. You tried not to but it’s out of your hands. Besides, Alpha was right to do it. That girl was performing a dangerous spell and it cost two lives on campus. Don’t be so hard on yourself. If I’m being completely honest, you recovered faster than all of us really. Most of us had not fully recovered yet hence the excessive drinking”, he replied.

Coping mechanism? Vera is sure that alcohol is Hamish’s passion so it’s not a coping mechanism for him. Perhaps, it could be for Lilith and Randall. Jack tends to divert his attention with studies while Gabrielle splurges. They all got their ways to deal with it. What’s hers?

“I don’t get scared normally but I am terrified”, she confessed.

“What about?” he asked and gently planted a kiss on top of her head.

“The future. I don’t want to fail, Hamish. I don’t want our son to be robbed of his future. It’s not going to be fair for him. He has to have his chance”, she answered.

He brought her face in level to his so he can look at her. He can see the fear in her eyes, the fear for their son’s future. She meant every word she had said.

“We will not let Praxis destroy our son’s future. He’s going to have his chance. I promise you”, he assured her.

Vera smiled at him, grateful that he has the strength she’s lacking at the moment. She clings to him as she drowns in adoration in his eyes until she gives in and pulled him so her lips can meet his. It was not slow. It’s like they’re both been lacking of oxygen and they’re the air each other needs. Hamish is still careful though in placing her onto the bed as he hovered on top of her. Hands roaming each other’s body, a soft moan escaped her lips and he growled in need. Vera heard a sound of fabric being ripped but she could care less. She had not thought she would have this before. She thought family life was not for her. History had declined her of her chance but she will be damned if she lets this one get away from her. To hell with the Council or what the professors at school think. She’s in love with Hamish Duke and the rest just fades away.

There is no foreplay this time. They both know exactly what they want, what they need, and when Hamish thrusts into her, Vera gasped, shivered, and uttered his name. 

Hamish looked down at the face of the woman he loves. He feared before that he won’t get a chance to look at her like this again. He almost lost her. He did lose her. The threat looming around now is not only threatening Vera but also their son, their life, their future, the world…but tonight, all of that fades in the background. There’s just him and her, wrapped in each other’s arms, as close as they can possibly be with their bodies intertwined. Who would have thought they would end up right where they are right now? They surely had come a long way from sworn enemies to allies to lovers to parents. They’ve been through so much and yet, he wouldn’t want to change a thing because he wouldn’t want to let go of the outcome.

“I love you…” his thrusts slow but powerful, “I love you so much, Vera. Words aren’t even enough to express it”, he declared.

With each thrust, she fills like she’s about to explode. It’s not rough but the power of his emotions is being transmitted through his movements is enough to fill her up and make her eyes well up. His love declaration added to the fire in her heart. She’s not an easy woman to love. She knows that for herself. She got issues. She’s demanding, bossy, and most of the time, she tends to put work on top of her list. Now, she got more issues than she could ever hope for, and yet, there’s a man on top of her, giving her his all, telling her how much he loves him despite of it all. He had seen her at her worst. He had known her dark side, her dark impulses, her capability to do damage and he remains the same. He stuck by her and fought for her life when she had long given up.

“I love you too…Hamish…”

She’s not good with words and he knows it. To hear her say it has more impact on him than all the cheesiest and flowery words of love declaration because Vera is not an expressive type of person. She bottles things up. To hear her just say those three words communicates thousand times louder than anything else.

They both repeated each other’s names like prayer when they reached their climax and remained entangled after they were both spent. It is not the ending they thought they would have for the day that just past by but it’s the ending they hoped for. To be together, it’s the best way to end a long day of pain, fear, and confusion.

\--------------------------------

A faint ringing…wind whooshing…woods cracking…they all sounded so distant but when the wave of force hit her, Vera opened her eyes, bolted out of bed and raised her hands up as she stopped a huge ball of fire about to hit them. Vera’s groaned woke Hamish and saw her fighting a massive ball of fire by the glass window. Despite the curtain, he is sure it is a ball of fire. It clicked fast. Praxis is what’s happening. He was quick to transform and rushed outside while Vera remained there protecting her home and herself from being incinerated.

She can hear Hamish fighting outside. As she continues on using her magic, her control over it loosened up. Who says she needs to stick by the rules of magic anymore? She is cured from Fors Factoram’s cancer. There’s no need for her to keep it down. Anger boiled down as Alpha growled inside her.

“Ignis aquam”, and it put out the fire but shattered her window.

The distraction caused by her window made her blind on the incoming wave of magic which hit her room and caused her to fly back. The impact of her back hitting the wall almost brought out Alpha but she stopped her. She can still handle it. She’s not quite sure which room of the house she’s in. She must’ve gone through walls or something. The next thing she saw are three people intruding her home. How many are they? She can still hear Hamish outside which means there are more.

The three chanted altogether but Vera was faster.

“Prohibere!” and they stopped uttering words halfway like they’ve been muted.

Vera’s eyes fell on a broken crib on her left side. She just realized her nursery room has been destroyed by the attack. Going through walls had not pissed her off but seeing that room ruined sent her rage from low to the extreme. Alpha quickly caught on as Vera’s eyes turned red, her nails had been replaced with claws and fangs slowly grew in her mouth. She does not need spells to do magic. She is magic. She is power. She is the Alpha Grand Magus. As wind entered her home, air seemed to be lacking for the three intruders’ lungs. They struggled to breathe, and they cannot bring themselves to move. Their feet are rooted to the floor. Vera simply watched with her red eyes as the three hold on for dear life. 

Hamish rushed inside after disposing four men outside of the house only to find three people gasping for air inside Vera’s messed up house. Vera was on the other side with her eyes beaming red. She does not seem to notice him as her focus is only for them. She is doing it to them. 

“Vera!” he called hoping to snap her out of it but she only turned to him and he did not see her or at least not just her.

He saw Alpha and Vera in those red eyes. She was right. They are one. He’s looking at the Alpha Grand Magus. Once she saw that he realized that, she turned back her gaze towards the Praxis members in front of her and snapped their necks with just a twitch of her hand.

“Conburet igni”, she muttered in low growling voice and the bodies lit up on flames.

The sight of Vera being shone by the fire’s light put a small fear in Hamish. He knows she can handle it but will she be able to remain herself after all this? He hope so.


	16. Imperium

The Knights assessed the damage to Vera’s house when the morning comes. Messed up is putting it plainly. The left side of the house was a wreck and that includes the master’s bedroom, Vera’s walk-in closet, and Christopher’s nursery room. Personally, Gabrielle was more upset than the rest when she saw the nursery destroyed. She put so much into it of herself, making it perfect for Vera and Christopher and now it’s all ruined. The only thing that’s stopping her from transforming is the thought that Christopher was not there at the time of the attack. He was at the hospital, safe from Praxis.

It’s not the same with Hamish. It was the first thing he thought about when he saw the room. What if their son had been there last night? Watching Vera pursed her lips and clenched her jaw and fists, he knows she’s thinking of that as well. It’s what caused her outburst last night. She did not just murder those Praxis members, she erased them from earth. No trace of them as left behind. She was that furious. She had not spoken since the attack at her house. It was clear that the Praxis is targeting the Grand Magus of the Order like what Foley did before and what Salvador tried to do during their parley. He knows that because of this, Praxis just declared an open war with the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. It’s what Tundra has been warning him about. Tundra informed him that the hides are feeling something big is about to go down. This is that.

Randall and Jack chose to make themselves useful and started cleaning up the mess with the help of Lilith who used magic to do things faster while Gabrielle tried her best to salvage the nursery room. Vera spent a good one and a half hour over the phone talking to god knows who. When she was done, she found the Knights almost done cleaning up her house and had taken a little break at the kitchen to rest a bit and drink water.

“All disciples of the Order are being called upon at the temple for an emergency meeting and I expected all of you to show up as well. No exception”, she announced and disappeared from the kitchen.

It confused them. Of course, they got something big on their hands but an emergency meeting right away? Hamish found Vera at her ruined closet, already dressed up.

“Can’t you cancel the meeting? There’s a threat for your life out there. Praxis is after you and it’s better if we stick together”, he said but she kept on moving.

“I am the Grand Magus of the Order so yes I am aware that I’m being targeted. That being said, it is my job to alert my disciples and informed them of the said threat. The answer is no”, she replied coldly.

He found her arm and stopped her from walking back and forth.

“The temple is filled with people from the Order. I just don’t want you to be put in a very difficult position”, he said.

Vera knows how to read between the lines and she surely knows how to decipher Hamish’s words. She quickly pulled her arm back.

“Alpha and I made peace. I will not transform if that’s what you’re worried about. Come or not, it’s up to you but as your Grand Magus I expect you to be there”, she snapped and left.

\---------------------------------

At the temple, the waiting is agonizing as the disciples convened at the room. Eyes followed the Knights especially Hamish. Everyone is aware of his relationship with the Grand Magus and that they have a child together. Vera did not make it a secret and she does not intend to. Hamish is glad that she’s not ashamed of what they have but at the same time, it made him conscious. All the attention focused on him is very much unwelcome. 

The door suddenly went open and Vera came out along with a few people who they can only guess as the Council. The crowd went still and silent.

“My name is Greg Harris and I am the new Head of the Gnostic Council of the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. You are all called here to inform you that the threat to our peace, to our way, and to this world is back. Praxis just made an open attack last night on our Grand Magus at her residence. Thankfully, she was powerful to defeat them but the fact remains, they tried to draw first blood. They came after our Grand Magus which means they came after us. We have an enemy, fellas, and we must defeat them before they take us out one by one”, the older man declared.

The disciples whispered and murmured to one another. The Knights of course are already aware of the possibility of war. They had been warned ahead of time. 

“Due to this recent event”, the whispering stopped and they all listened to the woman next to Vera, “The Council had decided to make the grant of temporary Imperium on our Grand Magus permanent”, it was followed by loud gasps, “Desperate times call for desperate measures and this is the best example of that”, she added.

“So, you just decided to give all the power to werewolf’s baby mama?” Angus cut in.

Jack stopped Hamish when he heard that faint growl under his breath. Why must Angus speak? He just had to speak in the middle of it all.

“We all know where she stands. She favors those who are our enemy. Who’s to say she did not stage it all so you can grant her Imperium? Don’t you think it’s all just very convenient? You grant her permanent Imperium after she gave birth to a half werewolf? It’s not because there’s a threat. It’s to protect those dogs and ruin this Order once and for all—”

Angus stopped rambling fast. He tried to open his mouth but his lips won’t part. He put his hands over his mouth in an attempt to get it to open while in panic but it’s just sealed shut. The disciples took steps back away from him while cowering in fear. Hamish then saw Vera just staring at the young disciple without blinking. Her face is passive, stoic, hard to read. Her eyes are normal but her cold stare is too cold, he felt the chill.

“Vera”, Greg sighed as he rubbed his temple with his fingers.

Angus dropped to the floor in relief having recovered his ability to speak.

“Anyone else got anything to say?” Vera asked.

No one dared to answer. No one even dared to make a sound. It is a wise decision on their part. Vera is not someone to be tested right now, not when she’s on the very edge of her patience. She does not have enough to deal with children.

“Right. Now that you’ve all had seen a little discipline lesson, let’s get down to business”, Greg laid out orders and instructions for all disciples to ensure their safety.

No one is to travel by themselves. Everyone is expected to be in pairs or more. The temple will be protected by a magic barrier that only a disciple of the Order will be allowed to enter including the Knights. Anyone who encounters members of Praxis is licensed to defend themselves even if it means killing the enemy. The Council will be on campus and at the temple with the Grand Magus to plan how things will proceed from now on.

Once that’s all settled, everyone was dismissed and Vera and the Council had locked themselves in her office for a meeting of their own.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit excessive the way you punished that boy earlier, Vera?” Susan asked her once the door was locked.

Harold scoffed.

“He deserved it. That one got tongue and if it’s up to me, I’ll probably do worse”, he expressed.

“…and that’s why you’re not the Grand Magus”, Susan replied to him.

Vera remained silent, observant, as the people around her banter. Meanwhile, Greg watches her carefully.

“Anyone got hurt last night?” he finally asked her.

Vera disengaged from her observation moment and turned to him.

“None. I opened my eyes right on time and Hamish handled those who were outside the house”, she answered.

“The werewolf?” Anastacia asked in shock.

“Yes. The leader of the Knights. I am sure you’ve heard. It’s not a secret but he lives with me. After all, he’s the father of my son so yes, he’s there last night”, Vera answered confidently.

The Council was not exactly shy when they expressed their dismay about their relationship but they couldn’t question Vera’s leadership and how she handled stopping the Tartarus eruption the first time, but still, they don’t feel positively about them being together. In fact, they were hoping it’s just merely a fling. Vera is not a stranger to that kind of activities before and they know that. They were hoping Hamish is one of her passing time.

“I don’t say that I approve of the werewolf but for the first time, I can say that I’m glad he was there when it happened. I am glad he’d done his duty and protected his Grand Magus”, Greg expressed.

Vera nodded. She always appreciated his bluntness and professionalism. They had known each other for a while. They’re not friends but they’re colleagues. They worked well together especially during the war all those years ago.

“They will come after me again. They seemed to have a knack in cutting off the head of the snake and it does not help that I killed their leader before. If they want the Order to stop getting in their way, they will go after its leader”, Vera muttered.

“We must get them first. They will cause another eruption in no time and who knows how big it’s going to be this time”, Harold insisted.

Alpha agrees with him apparently. Violence is her first solution to everything. Vera just smiled inwardly. Alpha’s impulsiveness is beginning to grow on her.

“They’re not going to cause another eruption. They started this and we will be the one to end this. Prepare for Mors Multarum”, Vera declared.

That earned her wide eyes and shocked responses.

“Vera, no one has ever done Mors Multarum in ages. That’s just never been done and on top of it all, it’s necromancy. The price is too high”, Susan expressed.

Vera’s eyes met Greg’s and he understood her immediately. There are few people on the planet who knew about her history with Fors Factoram and Greg is one of them. They fought together during the war against another magic society. He knew the sacrifice she had to make to win it. She and Alpha are the same in that regards. They’re both willing to do anything to win a battle. Perhaps it’s what makes her the champion meant for Alpha. 

“The Grand Magus is powerful enough to do the incantation”, Greg muttered without breaking eye contact with Vera.

“That’s not in question here. Are we just going to kill them all? A magic genocide?” Anastacia asked.

“Would you prefer them to kill us first?” Vera asked her back.

“I get it that you’re pissed that they destroyed your home and that they tried to kill you more than once but you’re talking about murdering every single one of them. How’s that going to make you better than them?” she argued.

Vera leaned back on her chair and sighed.

“I don’t intend to compete with Praxis, Ana, nor I intend to compare myself with Edward Coventry or the other Grand Magus before me. This is war. It’s us or them. A leader must choose. What are you going to choose, Ana? Us along with the world or them? Choose wisely”, Vera proposed.

It sounded a question but it’s more of an ultimatum. She cannot have anyone under her thinking the same way Alyssa Drake did before she died. She had a big heart and thought about the welfare of few innocents than the welfare of the entire planet. Vera will not have that.

“Of course us and the world”, Anastacia answered.

“Great call…then, it’s decided. Mors Multarum will be done by nightfall. We will do it here at the temple. No one will fight anyone on the battlefield. We will not lose a single disciple. We will end them once and for all. Is that clear?” Vera said.

“Crystal”, they all agreed.

Alpha approves of her decision. It’s something she should have done before Alyssa had stolen her magic. If she had, this problem wouldn’t occur now. No time to dwell on the past. She’s doing it now. She will do whatever it takes for her son to have a future, for the world to have a future even if it means she has to kill an entire organization for it.


	17. Mors Multarum

Hamish is anxious. He hadn’t seen nor spoke with Vera in hours. She and the Council had locked themselves in her office to plan how they’re going to deal with Praxis and the more she stays there, the more he gets worried. Tundra is worried too. She has been granted permanent Imperium. She can literally do anything she wants without seeking permission from the Council. It’s not the first Angus had talked back but it’s the first time Vera snapped and used her magic on him in front of everyone as a matter of fact. It’s not something Vera would do. It is something Alpha would. 

They are one…

She had told him that. It’s hard to distinguish whether it’s her doing or Alpha’s. Vera is caught up in whirlwind of anger. The threat is coming directly towards her and it’s something they cannot afford. In a few weeks, Christopher is coming home and they cannot bring him home with the threat that Praxis will come again to finish the job.

“Something’s happening”, Nicole came in rushing.

She just got back from the altar after being summoned by one of the Councilors to give an order.

“What is it? Is the meeting over?” Jack asked.

“Yes but that’s not what I’m about to say. The Grand Magus will perform Mors Multarum tonight”, Nicole answered.

None of them knew what it was except for Gabrielle and Lilith. Despite being with the Order in just short time, the two studied hard and they both had read that incantation in one of the books at the reliquary. The boys picked up fast on the girls’ horrified reaction.

“Okay, someone say something quick because I am on the verge of freaking out and I have no idea why”, Randall urges them.

“Mors Multarum is a very powerful incantation which happens to be a form of necromancy. It basically kills an entire population from a distance and it’s not the kind of pleasant death. It’s said to be gruesome and brutal. It’s the ultimate weapon if one finds oneself in a war but it requires a very powerful practitioner to perform it. The incantation demands it and all those who had done it lost their lives to it. It was the sacrifice they made to win wars”, Gabrielle explained.

“It’s a magical genocide to put it bluntly and Vera wants to kill off all Praxis members. That’s what Mors Multarum does”, Lilith added.

Hamish recalled how Vera was preparing to do the same back then before Alyssa stole her magic. It was also right after she was granted temporary Imperium. It was her last resort because the eruptions were getting bigger and bigger and she was willing to sacrifice herself to stop them. It was all coming from selfless intention. He knows that this is not the same. She still wants to stop Praxis but it’s not as selfless as before. She’s being driven by rage. They had destroyed their home, tried to kill her and in time, they will come after her weaknesses to get to her and that would be their son.

“Okay, I am not a masochist but isn’t it a good thing for us? I mean, Praxis is killing students. They attacked Vera’s house and they’re doing magic again without paying the price which will cause another eruption”, Randall gave the benefit of the doubt.

It is one way of looking at it and if all Praxis members are bad, Mors Multarum is the best way to solve their problem but one thing Jack has learned from Alyssa, not all Praxis members are bad. Some of them joined purely to learn. Some of them do not practice powerful spells. Some of them just appreciate the magic for its beauty. Mors Multarum is not going to select the bad ones from the good ones. It will not see the difference. Once Vera performed it and she will succeed because of the Fors Factoram, she will be killing everyone no matter what they’ve done or where they stand.

“…not all of them are bad, Randall, just like not all German are Nazi. We want to stop them yes, but we want to stop those who understand the consequences of their actions and yet they do it anyway. We want to stop those who want to harm us, harm Vera, and harm the world. Not all Praxis members are like that. Some of their followers just believed in magic after having been on the receiving end of it like those Salvador healed. Those people haven’t performed murder spells to contribute with the eruption. They did not know about the attack on Vera. They just believe. What’s about to happen will not exclude them. They will die, all of them, innocent or not”, Jack explained.

…and there’s another way of looking at it. Of course, Hamish knew that already. It’s why he’s even more worried for Vera. They’ve had that discussion before with Jack even. He managed to convince Vera to do the parley last time so she postponed doing the incantation. That parley failed and she almost went with it but soon enough she realized that it would be a mistake. It would be a genocide more than a victory for them. She expressed that to him during one of their late-night research in her office back when they’re still looking for a way to get her magic back. She knew the risk of doing it, what the cost will be and now, she’s going for it despite knowing it all. She does not care anymore.

“Are you suggesting we stop the Grand Magus from doing Mors Multarum? In case you’re forgot, Vera Stone is more than just Grand Magus now”, Gabrielle pointed leaving out the part that she’s an Alpha Grand Magus because Nicole is there with them.

She’s too powerful for them to stop and if they attempt anything and she found out about it, who knows how Alpha will react to it. Alpha already thinks that they had betrayed her and excluded her from their lives. If they stop them now from trying to win this fight against Praxis, Alpha will think of it as another betrayal and Tundra is sure that she will retaliate. Alpha had informed Tundra during their talk that she will not hold back this time in protecting peace. She did warn him that a storm is coming and this is that. Alpha will do everything to stop Praxis and restore peace just like Vera will do everything to stop Praxis in order to make the world a safer place for their son to live in. If it’s any indication of the danger they’re in, the broken crib at the ruined nursery room tells them how much. He knew that’s what triggered Vera to act. What should he do now?

He is still the leader of the Knights and as leader it is his duty to keep things in check. It is their sworn oath as Knights to keep the Order in check. Vera is about murder an entire population and deep down, he knows he must stop her. On the other side, he is now a father and there’s a threat to the life of the woman he loves. He understood Vera’s perspective. The memory of last night’s attack is enough to make his blood boil and if it’s up to him, he would gladly rip the hearts out from those people’s bodies. Which way should he go?

“Guys, I know it’s a tough decision but the incantation is happening at nightfall. The Council is preparing for it. Grand Magus is getting ready. Time is of the essence”, Nicole reminded them.

Heads turned to Hamish. In a situation like this, they usually decide through games and alcohol but it’s not something to be dealt with lightly. This concerns Vera and their lives. They need their leader to decide. They need Hamish.

“Let me talk to her first. I might still be able to change her mind. If not, we’ll take it from there”, he said.

\----------------------------------

Harold is at the door when Hamish reached Vera’s office. The Councilor eyed him from head to toe before blocking the path.

“This is the Grand Magus’ office, restricted area”, he dismissed him with such disdain.

“I am quite aware what this room is. I want to talk to Vera”, Hamish replied calmly, or as best as he could manage.

“You got no business talking to the Grand Magus, werewolf. Turn around and leave. She got more important things to handle right now”, Harold insisted.

Hamish got no time for this. Tundra is becoming impatient as well so he stepped closer.

“I want to talk to the mother of my child. Now, get out of the way”, he snarled as his eyes lit up.

Harold’s body unconsciously made way for him. It’s probably his first time to interact with a werewolf up close because just his eyes scared the shit out of him. Hamish waved his hand to close and lock the door when he got inside the office.

Vera is in her robe getting ready for the incantation. She looked surprised to see him there. She did not ask for him and she thought Harold will keep everyone out while she conditioned herself. Despite being liberated by Fors Factoram, Mors Multarum is a big spell. She does not need to pay any sacrifice to do it but it will still take up her strength so she needs to be fully prepared for it.

“Now is not the time, Hamish”, she muttered.

“When is the time? After you commit a genocide?” he snapped.

They already had this talk. Going over it again frustrates him. She knows the risk and the cost and she’s right there ignoring it all, ready to murder everyone in order to win. He knows she can do better than this. He knows that for sure but she’s too clouded with fear for their son’s future, rage for those who wish to ruin that to see another way.

“They came to our house!” the urgency and anger in her voice sent chills down his spine. “I could have just leave them alone but they came to our house and tried to kill us. Can you imagine if Christopher was in that crib? Can you imagine what would happen if he was there in that room?”

He was left speechless. What she’s asking is something he cannot even begin himself to think about. It is too much.

“I already lost one child, Hamish, and I will not lose another one. I will not let that happen if I can help it and I can. You promised me you will not let Praxis destroy our son’s future. You promised me you wouldn’t let them. I am just doing the same”, she exclaimed.

He did promise that and if his role is only being a father to their son, he would gladly hold her hand while she proceeds with this but he’s not just a father. He’s also a leader and he knows there are people on the other side who don’t deserve to die just because they believed in Salvador and all her promises.

“This is not the way, Vera. We can find another way to deal with them without murdering everyone even those who aren’t supposed to die. You know not all of them are evil. You said that to me once. You know the difference. Mors Multarum will not know that. Please, let’s find another way. Don’t go through with this. Let’s figure out something first”, he pleaded.

He heard her tapped her nails onto her desk.

“Christopher is coming home in a few weeks, Hamish. Can you promise me that when that happens no Praxis will attempt to come after us at the house? Can you promise me that he will be safe?” she asked.

He wanted to say yes. He wanted to assure her that he can keep their son safe but there’s no telling when and where Praxis will attack. He’s yet to devise a plan to stop them.

“Vera, please”, he begged.

“Don’t get in my way, Hamish. If you can’t guarantee the safety of our son, then I will take care of it. I will do everything to keep him safe. Don’t make me go through you because I will not hesitate. It’s our son, Hamish. This is for him”, she warned.

They looked at each other for a moment, forming a connection, testing each other’s waters, up until she waved her hand to allow Susan inside.

“Grand Magus, I did not mean to interrupt but everything is ready”, she informed her.

Hamish wanted to stop her, keep her inside the room until the night passes by but he knows there’s no stopping her. She is a mother and she will do her best to keep her child safe, to ensure his future. Instead, he let her walk away and followed her into the altar room where it has been set for the incantation.

“Virtus voco. Sequor. Intra me. Perdere volentibus accidere. Dilucere mors”, Vera chanted.

The Knights winced as it started ringing in their ears. It is indeed a very powerful incantation to affect them like that.

“Occiditis cotidianum”, she uttered and the Council followed.

Hamish couldn’t keep it in anymore. He must try. He couldn’t allow her to do something she will regret afterwards.

“Vera, stop!” he yelled.

Then, something hit her from the back and it threw her forward to Hamish’s arms. A loud growl came out of her mouth and found the attacker to be Harold.

“I’m sorry, Grand Magus, but I can’t let you do this. Praxis can only achieve success if you’re not in this world”, he declared.


	18. Bargaining Chip

Too many surprises…too many goddamn surprises is all Hamish can think about when Harold attacked Vera to stop her from completing the incantation. Apparently, he is a member of Praxis too. The shocked look on the other councilors’ faces proved that they have been fooled by one of them. Now it explains how the other members of Praxis found out where Vera lives. Only Salvador and Alyssa had been there once and he doubts that the two had time to dispense that information with the others because they were quite busy back then. Hamish wondered why Harold pretended to support Vera in doing Mors Multarum but he soon figured it out. Harold hoped that the incantation would be stronger than her and it would cost her, her life, but he does not know about Fors Factoram and that Vera can literally handle any kind of spell. Once he realized that she’s actually going to finish the incantation and all Praxis members will die, he revealed himself and attacked her openly.  
“Harold, what on earth are you doing?” Anastacia was the first to ask.

“World will be a better place if we make it that way. Imagine a world filled with magic. There will be no hunger, no death, no wars. Everyone is happy and content. The world will be peaceful. It’s what we want. We cannot just hoard magic because it’s not ours to begin with”, Harold explained.

His words sounded so familiar in Jack’s ears. He heard the same words came out of Salvador’s mouth. He heard Alyssa said the same thing. All Praxis members believed in magical utopia but he knows that it’s not going to be possible. Being content is not part of human nature. It might be true that magic will make significant difference in the world but there will be people who would still want more and more power and war will never stop. Ambition and greed are still out there and if you throw magic and power into that mix, you’ll get chaos, death, and war. It is why the idea of magic utopia never worked before. Plus, it will throw the balance off and people will cause the end of the world. If they opt to use Fors Factoram to avoid the eruptions and making sacrifices, it will claim their lives. There’s no middle ground to all of it. It’s just the way it is.

“You are delusional, Harold. You know better than this! You know what will happen if you distribute magic to tourists and you still sided with the enemy and now, you’re causing eruptions that could destroy the world!” Greg exclaimed in full fury.

“We are not trying to destroy the world, Greg. We are trying to fix it. There will be no eruptions if Grand Magus will give us what we want”, Harold said.

It immediately clicked for those who knew.

“Fors Factoram…you’re after Fors Factoram”, Jack cut in.

Greg met his eyes and he knew that Jack knows what it is and everything that is needed to know about it.

“Ms. Drake had failed. Salvador sacrificed herself, but we will not stop. We will not give up until magic is finally free”, Harold added.

Vera got back on her feet at this point. Hamish can hear the low grumbling sound under her breath. He knows Alpha is so close in surfacing. Of course, Vera was not affected by Harold’s attack. She’s too powerful to be injured by it but it does not mean that she’s not pissed by it.

“Then you will die trying”, she hissed between her teeth.

A smirk formed on Harold’s lips and Vera felt Alpha shifted. Something is wrong. They both can feel it within their bones. Hamish got that same feeling too as well as Tundra.

“I think you will give us what we want if you still want to be a mother again”, Harold muttered.

Christopher…

Vera had heard Jack and the rest of the Knights left in a flash. She knew they’re going to the hospital but she also knew that it’s too late. They’re already there. Her blood ran cold. Her brain did not even dare to go to the thought Harold is trying to insinuate. She might have heard Hamish growled next to her. It’s like time had stopped for her and all she can see is Harold’s smug face letting her know that he won. He found out her weakness. He couldn’t get to Hamish so he went after someone else, someone who’s going to be defenseless because they’re attention is somewhere else.

“Touch my son and I will rip you apart”, she heard Hamish threatened and it’s not just a threat. She knows he meant every word of it.

“Give us Fors Factoram and your half wolf baby will be safe”, Harold met Vera’s eyes. “I’m sure you don’t want to have another dead baby to bury”, he added.

It was like something breaks. Something had snapped. It was one loud click and then it’s over.

Hamish only heard a thunder-like growl and the next thing he saw as Vera holding Harold by his neck. Her claws are on full display as well as her red eyes and sharp fangs. People backed away as the councilors stood there frozen upon seeing their Grand Magus looking almost like a werewolf but not quite a werewolf. She slammed Harold on top of the altar cupped his head with her hands, claws threatening to dig holes on his face, eyes, and ears. 

“You really want to know how Fors Factoram works?” Hamish caught a glimpse of Greg growing pale. “Let me show you how”, Vera said in a very dangerous tone.

Just like that, Harold screamed in pain. Her red eyes bore into his and no one can explain what she’s doing to him. They all got very confused up until the point where Angus’ nose started to bleed.

“I don’t feel so good”, he uttered as he stared at the blood on his hand.

Another three disciples started experiencing the same and as Harold continues to scream, the worse the four disciples got. Then, Hamish saw Vera’s eyes glowed brighter red and the next thing they heard is an explosion…

Angus’ head along with those other three disciples’ heads just exploded, brains and blood splattering all over the altar room. It sent the crowd into frenzy but the doors were sealed shut. No one can get out. Harold is now crying, sobbing like a child.

“You see? I don’t even need Mors Multarum to kill your little friends. All I need to do is find them in your head and make their heads pop. Let’s try that again”, Vera said and focused on him again.

Hamish stared at Angus’ headless body and realized that the dead disciple along with the other three were members of Praxis as well. Angus must have joined in after Vera was granted Imperium or even before that. He was thoroughly upset that she had inducted them into the Order and he had expressed it ever since. He felt foolish on not seeing it coming that, that very disdain towards them would lead him into joining the other side.

Harold’s scream snapped Hamish from his thoughts. He remembered that Vera is now actively killing off Praxis members through Harold’s connection with them. She’s using his memory in order to track those who came in contact with him. It was powerful magic. It was necromancy in all forms and he does know anyone who can do what she’s doing. Not even Edward Coventry can do that magic. Fors Factoram allows her to do whatever kind of magic she wants without consequences. This is that. 

If Vera only wants to inflict pain on Harold, she could have been done with that already or do something else. He knows there’s more to it than just showing off her power and killing Praxis members. No. She’s tracking those he sent to the hospital whose after their son. It must be. She knows the others won’t make it in time to get there so she decided to torture Harold into it. He ordered for those people to come after Christopher so he knows who they are and that’s what Vera’s after. She’s going to kill them before they can get to their baby boy.

“Vera, that’s enough”, Greg muttered although the sound of fear is evident in his voice.

Despite Harold’s betrayal, they couldn’t stomach the pain he’s in. They couldn’t stomach how Vera is turning his brain upside down to find what she wants. Susan attempted to put a stop to it but Vera was ahead of her and sent her flying across the room which knocked her out. Vera did not let go of Harold until her features changed from dangerous to complete fury. She let out a loud growl and suddenly, Harold’s head exploded and Vera dropped to her knees.

\---------------------------------

Jack, Randall, Lilith, and Gabrielle ran as fast as their werewolf ability can take. They must get to the hospital to protect Christopher. They cannot let those Praxis members used him as bargaining chip to force Vera’s hands into giving them Fors Factoram. They are now beginning to side with her decision to just eliminate them all if their brains came up with the idea of using an innocent child as hostage to force his mother to do something she does not want to do. That’s just foul and completely monstrous to involve an innocent baby into the mess.

By the time they got to the hospital, there were five strangers already present outside of NICU where Christopher is.

“Hey!” Lilith called out as their eyes all lit up in silver.

They are definitely Praxis and they’re ready to fight. One of them attacked with a fireball which Gabrielle deflected easily. Jack put up a barrier spell so that no one will see them and make the mistake of going to their direction. They continued to attack them and soon, Lilith realized that they’re doing spells without sacrifice. 

“Shit”, she muttered.

A little blue light appeared on top of them and they all knew what it was. It’s a Tartarus eruption. It’s a small one but it’s enough to cause damage. Gabrielle immediately thought about Christopher who is inside the room next to the eruption. She did not think of it twice. She wolfed out and shielded Christopher’s incubator from the eruption.

“Gabby!” Randall yelled and went to her side.

She’s back to her human form and her back is badly burnt. It’s going to heal but it will take a while and she must bear the pain.

“I’m fine. Is baby Christopher okay?” she asked.

“Yeah…he’s doing fine, thanks to you”, he answered.

“Good…did not want Vera to rip me into pieces”, she joked.

Outside the hallway, Lilith and Jack readied themselves to go into offense when suddenly, their opponents’ noses started bleeding before their heads exploded.

“What the fuck?” he cursed.

\---------------------------------

FEW MINUTES AGO

Vera knew what she must do if she’s to protect her son. Jack and the rest will not make it in time. She cannot have another baby to bury and so despite her hesitation to reveal what she is to the Council, she must in order to save her son. Alpha gladly joined her as they grabbed Harold and put him on the altar. Her brain works at the speed of lightning. There are tons of spells she can use to protect her son but then she realized, she doesn’t need spells. She’s freaking free to do whatever she wants with magic. 

“You really want to know how Fors Factoram works?” Alpha growled within her, approving her method. “Let me show you how”, she said before penetrating and invading his brain to find whoever he instructed to go after Christopher.

His brain is very well-guarded and despite the pain, he’s telling her that he’s not scared of her so she must make an example. She discovered that Angus and some of her disciples are members of Praxis too and so she went there first. Their interactions served as their links and Vera was able to get to their brains fast. She did not hesitate in blowing up their heads and it got through Harold. It’s the way to find them.

“You see? I don’t even need Mors Multarum to kill your little friends. All I need to do is find them in your head and make their heads pop. Let’s try that again”, Vera said and focused on him again.

After a few more members dead, she finally found those Harold ordered to carry on the task of harming her child. When she got through their eyes, she saw them fighting the Knights in front of Christopher’s room. She saw the eruption appeared on top of them and how Gabrielle shielded her son who almost got blasted by the eruption caused by Praxis. In her overwhelming rage combined with Alpha’s fury, everything just surged and crashed and broke within her and she blasted them off along with Harold whom she’s holding in her hands. 

Being able to protect her son, she dropped to her knees, feeling completely drained…and empty. She just feels empty.


	19. He's Fine

“Vera? Vera? Can you hear me?” 

His voiced seemed so far from her ears right now but she heard him nonetheless. She must have nodded or something because he heard her sighed in relief. She then heard voices afterwards and then there’s arguing. It’s the Council arguing with Hamish.

“What are you talking about? Being a werewolf is not contagious”, Hamish argued.

“Then how would you explain what you did to the Grand Magus?” Anastacia asked.

They are blaming him. They now know her secret. They know she’s a werewolf and they’re putting the blame on Hamish. She shouldn’t have let anger get the best of her but then again, it is her son. She will gladly trade her status for the life of her son.

“Leave him alone”, she muttered as she helped herself up.

She just noticed that the other disciple are still with them in the altar room.

“Quo fit ut obliviscatur”, she casted and the disciples blinked confusingly. “You’re all dismissed”, she then said and they all left the temple not being able to remember what just happened back there.

“Are you going to do the same to us too, Vera?” Susan asked her.

She should but what’s the point. She could care less what the Council thinks of her at this point. She did that to the disciples to spare them one traumatic experience because their Grand Magus lost control.

“No. It is time that you should know. Yes, I am a werewolf now too but it’s not Hamish’s fault or the other Knights. I was dying and they needed to do that in order to save my life”, she answered.

Hamish turned to Vera. Is she really going to tell them now the truth? For weeks, she’s been worried about what it will cost if the others find out about her and Alpha but she does not seem affected now.

“Dying? What do you mean?” Anastacia asked.

Vera only turned to Greg who has an idea what she’s talking about. In fact, he has an idea the moment he saw her eyes turned red and claws came out of her hands. He knew. He’s smarter than the rest of the Council.

“Fors Factoram. It finally caught up with you and only the werewolf’s ability to heal could save you from it”, he concluded.

“Exactly. My death was ensured on the day I gave birth but the Knights brought a hide at the hospital to save me. I owe them my life”, Vera confirmed.

Greg can understand. It was his worry that day she performed that incantation. It was a sacrifice and he understood it at the time but after they’ve won, he grew concern of her. She was still the Temple Magus at the time and she refused a spot at the Council. She assured him that she would be just fine as long as her disciples will be. For years, he waited for any news of Vera’s health. It was a wonder how she had managed to evade the price so in a way, he expected something drastic like turning Vera into a werewolf in order to survive. He wouldn’t want her to die because he prefers her as Grand Magus even since then. Only her has the guts to go as far as condemning herself to death to keep everyone safe and alive. Selflessness is the number criteria to be a Grand Magus in his opinion.

“…and now you’re a werewolf. A werewolf couldn’t be a Grand Magus”, Susan expressed.

With that Hamish tensed. This is going to happen. This what Vera has been afraid of when she found out she’s one of them now. 

“Yes, a werewolf can be a Grand Magus”, both female councilors turned to Greg. “Actually, it’s been done before. The first Grand Magus was a werewolf. He was referred to as Alpha Grand Magus and I assumed that the hide you have is the Alpha”,

“Yes”, Vera confirmed.

“The Gnostic Council was formed after the first Alpha Grand Magus died. Our duty is not to keep the Grand Magus in check but to make sure that what the Alpha Grand Magus did will never happen again. It was because of him that magical societies became divided. He provoked wars in order to acquire more power because Vade Maecum and Fors Factoram weren’t enough for him. He wanted to be a god. Only the Head of Gnostic Council is made aware of that history and our true purpose. Our job is to ensure that Alpha Grand Magus will never happen again”,

Now, Vera is the one becoming tense. Alpha is getting ready inside her.

“…but I also happen to know you as Vera Stone. Ambition for power has never been your cup of tea, even back then. You could have been the Grand Magus years ago but you always declined any offer for promotion. You performed Fors Factoram not because you desire to use unlimited magic like what Praxis wanted. You did it to save us from the war. You did it to keep your people alive knowing that it’s your own life which was at stake. This is a risk but I have full confidence that you’re not going to make the same mistake the first Alpha Grand Magus did. You’re a lot stronger than him and I would like to give you the chance to prove it, Alpha Grand Magus”, he finished.

Susan and Anastacia stared at him in disbelief before glancing towards Vera who looked as shocked as them. She was certain they will kick her out already and she was prepared if it comes down to a fight but she underestimated Greg and their history together in battle. He’s truly different than Kepler. He deserved to be the Head of Gnostic Council and she’s glad.

“Thank you, Councilor”, with a wave of her hand, the mess and the dead bodies on the floor disappeared like nothing has happened. “I will still deal with Praxis but if you’ll excuse me, I would like to go check on my son”, she said.

“Take all the time you need”, Greg replied.

\----------------------------------

Vera was quiet throughout the drive. Hamish wanted to know if she’s alright but he does not feel like pushing her right now. It is obvious that she’s been drove to her limit earlier and despite his disapproval on her killing Angus and the other three disciples the way she did, he understood why. The threat concerned their son and as much as he wants to be righteous and be a leader, it is his son too. If Vera had not attacked Harold earlier, he would’ve wolfed out and tore him to pieces. Thinking about that thought of impulsiveness, he realized that if he had done that, it wouldn’t get their son out of danger. Vera’s way involved getting those who were there at the hospital. His way was sort of limited distance.

He had received a text message earlier from Jack that Christopher is now safe. He had confirmed that Vera had killed those Praxis members at the hospital. Jack also informed him that Gabrielle was injured but she’s healing slowly. He had not told Vera about it because he already feels that she knew. It was that look on her face before she blew up Harold that told him she knew. He can only guess how she did it but he knows she was able to see what happened at the hospital through Harold’s brain and those members’ eyes.

Once they reached the hospital, Vera did not wait for him. She jumped out of the car and immediately went to the NICU where Christopher is. The Knights had already cleaned up the mess so when she arrived, it’s like nothing has happened there. She ignored the Knights who had been waiting for them at the hallway and she immediately entered the room to see her son.

“Oh god…” she breathed out.

She had not realized she’s been holding her breath since they left the temple. Of course, she knew he’s fine. She had seen that Gabrielle had shielded him from the eruption but still, she was gravely worried for her son. She was very anxious to get there just to see him with her own eyes. Seeing Christopher again brought her back to the surface. The effect of what she did earlier almost pulled her down to the depths of darkness as she allowed herself to look at the pitch-black side of her and Alpha. It was a necessary move to do to protect her son but despite not needing to sacrifice anything for that magic, it still has a cost and it is her soul, her heart, things that make her human. Once she was done with the magic, she felt numbed, empty. She had looked at the darkness and the darkness looked back at her. 

Christopher pulled her back to light. He managed to give her back her ability to feel things again. She knows Hamish can do the same for her but she has a habit of pushing him away to conceal her vulnerability. She does not have a habit of pushing her son away. She will never. Maybe that’s why Christopher has the ability to make her feel better without even doing anything. Tears formed in her eyes and she failed to control it and she just wept.

“He’s fine”, she felt Hamish’s arm around her as he gently pulled her close to his body so she can feel his warmth. “He’s fine. He’s safe. He’s okay”, he continuously whispered into her ear.

“I know. It’s just that…I don’t know what I would do if I lost him tonight”, she scoffed and sniffed. “…to think that I almost did not go through with carrying him. I couldn’t bear to lose him, Hamish. It will kill me”, she confessed.

His hold got tighter, grounding her to reality.

“You will not know what that life could have been because you will not lose him. We will not lose him. If I have to give my life for him, I would, and I am sure the other Knights are willing to do the same. You’ve seen it, haven’t you?” he said.

He was talking about Gabrielle. She had seen it indeed and she made a mental note to thank her later.

“Thank you for being so patient with me. I am not the easiest person to be with and you’re still here”, she muttered.

“Well, I am not that person either but I love you and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Christopher will be so annoyed by us, stubborn parents we are”, he teased and she laughed.

\----------------------------------

Vera insisted on staying with Christopher for the night. Hamish had to talk with the hospital staff to allow her to do so. He knows Vera can stay there if she wants with or without anyone’s permission but he wants to spare her the trouble of having to use her magic in order to be allowed to be with their son. Meanwhile, he decided to stay outside to wait for her. He does not feel comfortable leaving her and their son by themselves. Harold and some of his friends may be gone but the threat of Praxis still exists. They might still come after his family and he must be present.

“I sent Gabby, Randall and Lilith back to the Den to rest. Gabby is still healing. It’s taking a while but she’s getting there. How’s Vera?” Jack asked when he joined him at the hallway.

Hamish sighed out loud.

“She recovered but I am still worried. I’ve never seen her so angry like that before. She did not care whether the others saw her as Alpha. She had killed Angus and the others without even looking at them. I know that kind of magic was a piece of cake for her but I worry about what it would cost her emotionally. For a moment after that, she went into shock. Being with Christopher now makes her feel better than earlier”, he answered.

Jack has already been filled in on what happened at the temple and how Vera had killed those Praxis members who tried to get to Christopher. Personally, it scares him that she has that kind of power. It was terrifying to know how limitless her ability is. Having Alpha inside her just amplifies her power. It is why the first Alpha Grand Magus fell from grace because he failed to keep himself in check. What if it happened to Vera as well? She just murdered people while being miles away. All things start somewhere.

“Still can’t believe Angus sided with Praxis”, Jack muttered.

“People do crazy things all the time, Jack”, leaving the part that Alyssa joined Praxis too, “I just wished this Praxis problem will be over soon. Christopher is due to come home and I couldn’t have them threatening to come any time to try and kill Vera”, he expressed.

“Do you think after what she just did, they would still come after her?” Jack asked.

Hamish felt a strange feeling in his guts. It screams danger but he couldn’t explain it.

“For their sake, they better stay the hell away or they will find their bodies headless like the others and it wouldn’t be Vera’s doing this time”, he answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gearing up for something heavy next chapter so watch out and this is a warning in advance. I am still preparing myself for it ;-)


	20. Homecoming

Things seemed to have settled down after the eventful night at the temple where Vera had revealed to everyone what she had become. The Council, thanks to Greg, had learned to accept that they are now having an Alpha Grand Magus and they couldn’t be any luckier to have Vera now that they’re still facing problems with Praxis. The Knights took it upon themselves to check for more spy members of Praxis inside the Order to prevent another Harold incident as well as Angus and those three disciples situation. Eruptions seemed to grow bigger and bigger as days go by. It only means that Praxis remains careless and reckless in using magic. Who knows what they’re up to?

Vera worked double time, dividing her hours in being a Chancellor and Alpha Grand Magus but Praxis is still out of her grasp. Her brain is leaning once again in performing Mors Multarum. Alpha is all for it but after what she did that night, she couldn’t just bring herself to murder anyone at the moment. She’s still processing on getting her conscience back, that little bit of light she seemed to lose when she succumbed to darkness. Alpha had reassured her that she will not let her go that deep but they’re both have the same level of impulsiveness when their buttons are pressed. She cannot really rely on Alpha to keep her in check and it is taking a lot of her to keep Alpha in check. 

In a matter of days, Christopher is coming home. The doctor said he developed well at the hospital and he’s ready to be out of the NICU and come home. Vera had insisted for him to remain there for at least a week to give them time to prepare everything. She knows Hamish is very agitated, anxious even. He patrols around the property every single night. Tracing scents, any scents, close by. He’s wary that they will get attacked again and he wants to make sure it won’t happen. She had put a magic barrier herself around the house but it’s not enough for Hamish. Praxis knows how to hurt Vera, how to get her to bend. That is their son. They will come for him to get to her if they’re smart enough because going up head to head with Vera is a suicide.

The nursery had been restored. Gabrielle had purchased another crib for Christopher. Vera had thanked her immensely for what she did and she was promoted to Magistratus. The Knights visit there often as well, just to check if everything’s fine.

“We’re not ready”, she blurted out one night while she and Hamish are on bed. “Christopher is coming here three days from now and we still haven’t catch Praxis or put a stop to them. The eruptions are getting bigger. I don’t think we can let him come home right now”, she added.

He can understand her fear. He fears the same. He’s just keen on not telling her about it. He wants to be strong for her. She had already endured too much and he will not allow her to be sucked into the void of darkness because of that fear. He will be her anchor into the light even if he has to absorb all the fear. He will do everything for Vera and their son.

“We cannot keep him in the hospital forever, Vera. I know you want him to be here so much. It will not make a difference if he’s there or here. They already tried once to come after him over there. Don’t you think he will be well protected if he’s here with us? I don’t think those nurses can protect him from tourist practitioners”, he said.

He has a point. She knows he has. Christopher must come home. She’s just too scared to lose him. That’s all.

“Alpha wants to proceed with Mors Multarum. She sees it as the only way to end our problem. I can see the point to it”, she shared.

He stiffened. The thing is, he sees the point to that either and that scares him because desperation can make people do all sorts of things and right now, he’s getting really desperate to put an end to Praxis. He wants to be righteous, be a leader, but are those enough to keep his family safe. He can trust that Vera can manage to defeat Praxis if she likes but at what cost? It’s true she needs no sacrifice to do any magic she likes but he now knows that with each big spell she does, it takes a toll on her. It’s not physical. It’s not the same as magical cancer. It’s emotional, psychological, deeper than any consequences. He does not want for the easiest and quickest solution they have to eat the woman he loves away. They may be able to get rid of Praxis and the threats they come along with altogether, but it will cost them Vera or at least, what makes her Vera Stone. It’s not the price he’s willing to pay.

“We can find another way, Vera. Jack, Randall, Lilith, and Gabby are working very hard to track them down. We got a lead. We can do this without wiping them all with an incantation”, he said.

She is aware how hard they’re working. She barely sees them at the temple. Jack tries his best to keep up with his studies but sometimes still missed classes in order to continue their investigation. They’re all making sacrifices and she feels guilty. They don’t have to. She has the power to stop it once and for all but if she does, there’s a big chance she ends up like the first Alpha Grand Magus. She’s not sure if it’s going be worth it. She may be able to save her son from Praxis but she may not be able to save him and the world from herself if she allows that to happen.

“Of course, I can still hold on a little bit longer”, she replied.

\---------------------------------

Jack and the others are growing restless. Every lead they follow ended up with a brick wall. It’s always a dead end. He knows they’re not bollocks. They’re pretty strong leads but he’s not sure why they always ended up with nothing, like something will not allow them to succeed. He had promised Hamish that they will find Praxis, its new leader, and their hideout and so far he got nothing. Christopher is coming home. If he’s goal is to protect that innocent baby, keep Vera from murdering everyone, and saving the world from ending, he must get to Praxis first because if they try anything else again, he’s certain Vera will lose control of herself and he wouldn’t want to be around when that happens. He’s not sure if she will be able to come back again.

“We got a mole”, Lilith said behind him.

“What?” he asked.

“…that’s why we always end up with nothing. We got a mole”, she answered.

It is a best explanation for their screwed-up operations.

“Who?” he asked again.

“It’s a feeling but it’s a strong one. Ever since I came out of Demon Realm, I got this radar of sorts. I can tell if things are about to go down. I just do. I feel something’s off each time we’re working on a lead like it will start on a good note and then halfway through it, it goes south. I can only think of one explanation for it. Someone is tipping them off. We always pick up excellent leads, but someone is screwing with us”, she answered.

He did not dare argue about Lilith’s radar. No one speaks of it but they all can tell that something has been different with her since they got her back. Her strength, her speed, even her magic all changed. She bears the marking on her face which she conceals with magic. Gabrielle had openly asked once whether Lilith acquired any abilities down there. If Lilith says there’s a mole, he believes her.

“I guess we should find that mole because whoever that is, he’s Praxis”, he replied.

“On it”, she responded.

\---------------------------------

It’s finally the day of Christopher’s arrival at the house. Vera had come out from a long and agonizing meeting with the Council at the temple. Two students died at the school grounds and they discussed ways to prevent it. Hamish is at the hospital along with the others processing their son’s release. She made a snap decision to stop by at home to settle everything before she follows them to the hospital. She wants to make sure everything’s set. She re-enforced the magic barrier and put one inside the nursery room.

“Jesus!” Vera exclaimed when she almost bumped into Hamish at the kitchen. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you”, he explained.

“It’s alright. What are you doing here? I thought you’re still at the hospital. Where is Christopher?” she asked, realizing that he’s alone, without their son.

She began to think the worst. Her body stiffened and he had heard a low growl under her breath.

“Relax…he’s safe at the hospital. I just want to come get you myself. I was worried you’re taking so long so I went back here”, he answered.

She allowed herself to calm down. 

“Sorry…I thought something has happened to him and—”

She did not get to finish that sentence or that thought. She only felt his force, his hand wrapped so tight around her neck, squeezing her throat without mercy. Her eyes went wide as she looked into his.

“Hamish…” she struggled to say but he kept on going.

Alpha protested inside and was about to surface but she stopped her. She will kill Hamish if she comes out. She’s sure of it. Vera is not sure what’s going on but she cannot kill Hamish, not him. 

“Please…” she whispered but it’s like a plea to deaf ears.

She couldn’t think of any spells to get herself out of his grasp because her brain and her eyes couldn’t believe what’s happening. What is happening? His eyes bore so much hate. Contrary to the love she had gotten so used in seeing in those deep blue eyes. Perhaps, he realized she’s too much of a liability now, too much of a burden. Maybe he realized the only way to keep Christopher safe is for her to be gone. After all, it’s her the Praxis wants, not them. Without her, their son will be safe. Maybe it’s the only solution or the other way he’s talking about. She tried to search for any hint, any glimpse of love she craves in those eyes but she found none. She held on as long as she could, kept Alpha at bay, until she couldn’t. Her eyes closed with only the image of Hamish’s angry eyes focused on her.

\-----------------------------------

When Vera did not show up at the hospital, Hamish’s instinct kicked in. He knows she wouldn’t miss any appointments concerning their son even if it’s a Council meeting. Lilith had called Nicole who told them meeting was over half an hour ago. After Christopher was released, Hamish had entrusted his son to Gabrielle and Randall’s care while him, Jack, and Lilith went to Vera’s house to check on her. If she had left the temple and hadn’t gone to the hospital, she must have stopped first at the house. Hamish had tried calling her but she’s not answering at all which made it all worse.

The house is completely silent. Her car was parked outside which means she did go there but she’s nowhere to be found at the house. Lilith recognized the new barriers put around the house and at the nursery. 

“She was here. She just put up new barriers for Christopher. They’re fresh”, she informed the other two.

“Where the hell is she?!” Hamish exclaimed.

He’s on the verge of panic. Jack is seemingly busy operating Vera’s home entertainment system which annoyed Hamish.

“What are you doing? You will not find Vera in there”, he snapped.

“I know…but we might find what happened before we arrived here”, he explained.

Hamish and Lilith went to the living room to check what Jack is rambling about.

“It was Gabrielle’s idea and Vera approved of it. It was a security system that can be access remotely or wirelessly. I helped installed it but we haven’t set it up yet to be accessed through phone. Gabrielle thought that it would be nice to know what’s going on inside the house and outside while Vera’s not here, so she can monitor things”, Jack explained.

Lilith nodded at him and he played a video recording from the same day, just an hour back. They all tensed up when Vera came into the screen. They all have seen her put up magic barriers throughout the house and the nursery room. It all seemed normal until…

“Wait…what’s going on?” Lilith asked.

“What the hell?” Hamish muttered.

Their eyes couldn’t believe what they’re seeing. Vera is being strangled by a man who looked exactly like Hamish himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this idea just came to my head today and i sort of rushed it in despite the migraine. i did not want to lose the idea so i have to write it down. Let me know what you think.


	21. Doppelganger

“Do you have twins we don’t know about?” Lilith asked Hamish who looks dumbfounded.

His eyes couldn’t believe what he was seeing at the screen. It’s Vera being strangled by a man who looks exactly like him. He can see Vera’s eyes staring at him, pleading, searching, and confused. They heard a few growls coming out of her which he can only guess as Alpha trying to come out to protect her but she kept her inside, prevented her from coming out. It was strange for Jack and Lilith but Hamish knew why. Vera was protecting him, or at least she thought it was him. She did not want Alpha to kill ‘him’. Even in danger, she still thought about him. 

Now, it only pains him to know that she thought it was him, that he’s capable of hurting her that way. Her eyes had seen his face doing that to her. She had closed them with the memory of him strangling her until she passed out. He would never do that to her. He would never hurt her but now, she does not know that anymore. If she had known it was not him, she would have let Alpha take over but she did not because she believed that it was him. 

“We need to find her”, he muttered mixed with a growl from Tundra.

Jack was already trying to pick up scents that were left behind. They’re faint but trackable. They just need reinforcement.

“Lil, do you know any spell that can amplify a scent?” he asked.

She only nodded and cut open her palm and uttered a spell.

They waited for the scent to grow stronger but nothing happened. When Lilith opened her eyes, her demon mark lit up causing her stumble backwards and something strange happened. Vera had reappeared into the room. Well, it was not really her. It’s almost like a hologram, a recording of what happened earlier.

“What spell exactly is this?” Hamish muttered.

“I don’t know. It’s not meant to do that”, Lilith answered.

They saw in 3D how Vera was strangled by Hamish’s look-a-like until she passed out and fell to the floor. After which, Hamish’s double took out his phone and called.

“It’s done. Prepare everything at the base at Grove Compound. I’ll meet you there”, he said and then hung up.

It took a few seconds before the man carried Vera over his shoulder just as the false vanity wore off from his face that got all of them saying…

“Fuck…”

\-----------------------------------

COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS

Vera awoke for the third time in the woods and she knew it’s the other dimension she had found herself before twice. She searched for anyone that will talk to her this time but there’s no Alyssa nor Alpha posing as Alyssa. She’s just alone. Finding no point in staying in the woods by herself, Vera left and walked towards the only place she feels safe, her house. Somehow, she thought she will find Hamish there waiting for her but her house is empty as well. She remains alone. Dread sets in. Is she truly dead this time around? That would have been unfortunate. Her son is just about to come home and she did not even get a chance to see him in his nursery room.

Seeing her kitchen, she was suddenly reminded of Hamish and his rage. She recalled his hand around her throat and her hand shot up to her neck, still feeling the pain.

“For a powerful woman, you are incredibly soft”, Alyssa appeared behind her.

She was going to call her by that name when she realized she wasn’t talking to Alyssa.

“I can’t let you kill him. Christopher needs his father”, she explained.

Alpha scoffed.

“…and you allowed him to kill you instead? I could’ve handled it. I could have thrown him away and we could have escaped but you pushed me inside”, she argued.

Vera sighed and waved her hand to dismiss the thought.

“Well, it’s too late now. We’re here. I’m dead, I think”, she muttered.

“You’re not dead, far from it. They got you. They got us. If they wanted you dead, they could have done it already but no. They kept you alive which can only mean one thing”, Alpha disagreed.

It dawned on her. 

“They don’t want to kill me. They wanted something from me”, her brain connects the dots fast. “Praxis wants Fors Factoram so they can use magic freely but they must have known by now that it still comes with a price”,

“…that price does not apply to you”, Alpha pitched in.

“That’s what they want from me. They wanted to extract it out of me, the ability to use unlimited magic without the cancer”, she finished.

\---------------------------------

With that, Vera’s eyes opened wide. She just yanked herself out of the Collective Consciousness back to reality. Everything is black. There is no light and her arms and legs are bound. Her back complains at the hardness of what she can only guess as metal table she’s lying at. She tried her werewolf strength to get out but it did not work. She tried using magic and it still did not work. The shackles must have been enchanted although she cannot understand why she cannot break free. She should have been able to do so. Perhaps, she’s too weak to use her full potential yet. They could have been given her something while she’s out.

The light suddenly got turned on and it hurts her eyes. She closed them to adjust as she heard footsteps coming in the room.

“She’s awake”, someone said.

Her vision is still blurry and she cannot make out their faces.

“Give her another shot”, another one replied.

She could feel the sting of the metal digging into her skin as she tries to break the shackles but something sharp pierced her arm and her control on her limb loosened.

“Sorry about the discomfort but it’s necessary. You’re too strong for us to handle. It’s not a fair match, really. Don’t worry. It will get even once we get what we needed from you”, his voice is familiar. 

She had heard it before but she cannot remember. Her brain is too foggy from what they have given her.

“Among all those who performed Fors Factoram, you’re the only who survived. To think that we’ve been so desperate in getting the incantation itself when all we should have done is just get you. Of course, the timing was not right first. You weren’t immune to Fors Factoram back then. It happened recently. I guess things do happen for a reason. This is just meant to be. I’m sorry in advance but this is for the best”,

How did he know all that? How did he know that she performed Fors Factoram and that she’s no longer affected by its illness? How did he know she used to have the cancer?

“Do it”, the voice ordered.

It was the last thing she heard before the extreme loud ringing followed by tremendous pain that hit her body from head to toe.

Vera screamed. It’s like she’s being incinerated once again only ten times more painful. She wanted to beg them to stop but it would’ve been too much if she begs. She wouldn’t allow them to have that satisfaction so she held on. Alpha is trying her best to surface but the drug is preventing her from surfacing. Vera’s mind is too foggy. She cannot even share the pain her champion is feeling. She can only hear her screams.

As quick as it began, it ended up fast. Vera’s ears can pick up fighting, grunting, growling around her but she cannot bring her eyes to open. She’s too tired, too dazed. She just wants to sleep, to rest. Alpha is urging her to stay conscious but she does not have any energy left, so she shut them just for a little while…just for a moment.

\---------------------------------

Thanks to Lilith’s botched spell, they found where exactly they took Vera. It was so easy for the three of them to knock down the guards posted around the compound. They slowly made their way in. Their movements are careful, done with precision. Each of them is avoiding mistake up until they heard Vera’s scream from one of the rooms. 

Hamish just went fuck it and ran as fast as he can followed by Jack and Lilith. When they got in the room, they found Vera cuffed to a metal stirrup, screaming in pain. There are three men around her, one is still holding a syringe. Lilith quickly took him out while Jack got the other one.

“You”, Hamish growled and hit the man causing Vera great deal of pain.

The man hit the wall but bounced back quickly. Vera had stopped screaming but she went unconscious.

“Vera trusted you! She actually thought you’re a good man!” Hamish exclaimed at his opponent who still looks like him.

He smirked and revert to his true self having realized they know who he is. The doppelganger turned out to be Greg Harris, the Head of the Gnostic Council and Vera’s ally from the war before.

“We all make sacrifices for the better good, Mr. Duke. I’m not sure you will understand. Vera wouldn’t either but this is for the best. I have witnessed what war can do to people. That same war drove her into performing a forbidden spell to save others. I want to prevent that from ever happening again. I want to prevent Vera from doing that kind of sacrifice again. Of course, for years we all thought Fors Factoram is out of bounds. It’s simply cannot be done. It has a price. Teaching magic to people is causing eruptions and so we must move quickly. We can lay it on the people whether they want to pay the price of Fors Factoram or not. It’s either that or they do sacrifices for their spells”,

They all looked at him like he’s some lunatic.

“When I found out that Vera had survived Fors Factoram because she became the Alpha, I found hope. Not everyone can be a werewolf but if we can get the incantation from Vera, the untainted one, the one without cancer, there will be no death. Vera will also be free from it. If she wants to let go Alpha, she can too without the fear of dying from cancer. We don’t want war. We don’t want to hurt other people and I admit that some of our members were reckless but they’re just desperate. I did not want to do this too but we’re running out of time. We don’t want to cause an apocalypse so must get Fors Factoram from Vera so we can all win”, Greg explained.

Hamish had enough of it. He had heard it so many times now. The only thing he knows is that he had hurt Vera. He does not care what his reasons are. He needs to pay for it. Tundra came out and attacked Greg without mercy. No matter how powerful the councilor is, fear got the best of him as soon as he saw the giant wolf and Hamish ripped him apart without second thought. After the bloody debauchery, Hamish reverted to his human form and Jack threw him an abandoned black robe in the room whom he guessed was Greg’s.

“She’s out. The cuffs are enchanted”, Lilith said as she went to Vera’s side.

Lilith chanted an inaudible spell to break the cuffs. It took her a while due the strength of the magic and once she’s done, Vera’s eyes just snapped open like being freed from a well-locked cage. She sat right up and saw the blood splattered across the room.

“Vera, thank goodness you’re o—”

Hamish just flew from the room into the next one. He actually went through a cemented wall.

“Vera, hold on! It’s not—” Jack was not able to finish that because him too as well as Lilith hit the wall.

Her eyes are as red as blood coursing through her veins. Fangs and claws are all out. Growl is the only sound that can be heard from her. Hamish got up and saw her charging towards him.

“Vera, it’s me!” she attacked again and again, with magic, with her werewolf strength. She just kept on going. Hamish did his best to deflect and protect himself. He was just glad that Tundra is not coming out to fight back. Pissed beyond measure, Vera slammed Hamish against another wall and pinned him there with her magic. She started choking him telekinetically just like how she remembered him strangling her.

“I love you…” Hamish whispered, hoping she would hear it.

She did and he dropped to the floor only to see the horrified look on her face.

“I’m sorry”, she said and with that, she took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another traitor...I know but Praxis has to be a huge organization and they don't just learn magic just like that. There has to be someone or a few people at least inside the Order who taught them about it, people who shared their beliefs. I feel better now so i am in full condition to give you angst next chapter. ;-)


	22. Unusual Shrink

When she opened her eyes, her first instinct is to get out of there, to get back to her son, take him somewhere safe. She first saw Lilith whom she guessed was the one who removed her cuffs and she had meant to thank her if she hadn’t heard his voice. It’s the same familiar voice which she heard while she’s all drugged up before they put her under that pain. It was his voice. It was Hamish’s voice. As soon as her eyes laid upon him, the trauma of the memory she got of him strangling the life out of her and condemning her to suffer that horrible pain got the best of her and Alpha just lashed out. Alpha was there all throughout. She was there inside her champion while Vera screamed. To hell with Tundra and his sermons. His champion had hurt hers so she pushed her way, and sent Hamish flying.

Vera wasn’t completely tucked away. She was there with Alpha, semi-conscious but her confusion, her rage mixed up with Alpha’s just too much. Jack and Lilith took a brunt of it. She has no idea what Hamish has been saying. All she can think about is that if she stops attacking, he will hurt her again. He will try to kill her again and give her to Praxis so they can extract Fors Factoram from her so she must keep going. She’s unsure what kind of magic she’s been giving him or how many punches she was able to land. He’s just too strong and too stubborn and his strength pisses her off. She had used her magic and slammed him against the wall and kept him there. Blood slowly dripped from his head and it’s no question that he will suffer from concussion after this but she could care less. Her eyes lingered on his neck for a bit and wondered how he would feel being on the opposite side, being the one helpless, pinned against the wall, gasping desperately for air. She did not dare go near him to feel his skin on her hand. She does not have to. She willed to squeeze his neck, preventing oxygen from coming in his lungs.

“I love you…” he then said.

Like a cold splash of water on her face, Vera woke up and pulled Alpha back in. She had heard Hamish coughed and gasped on the floor. His head is bleeding. He got scratches all over his body. His lips, his nose, even his eyebrow are all cut. She can already see the bruising on his neck and she’s pretty sure he’d cracked a few bones for what she did…what she did.

Yes, she’s the one who did all those things to him. Jack and Lilith went to his aid to check how badly he’s injured. Vera caught a glimpse of Greg’s severed head and realized her mistake. It was not Hamish. No. It was Greg. He had disguised himself as Hamish to get close to her, to prevent her from retaliating because he knew that she wouldn’t hurt Hamish. He knew at the temple that her relationship with him is different than the guys she had been with before. Greg had seen how she stuck by Hamish and defended their relationship in front of the Council. It was him all along and she’s been foolish to think that Hamish can actually do that to her. She had let appearance deceived her and now, she was the one who had hurt him. He came to her rescue and she attacked him. She can literally smell his blood and she’s the reason for it. It’s her fault. Guilt quickly overwhelmed her as well as embarrassment. She just knew she couldn’t be there right now.

“I’m sorry”, is all she had said before she ran off as fast as she can, as fast as her legs can take her.

She has no particular direction to go. She cannot be at her house because Hamish will look for her there first. She wanted to see her son at the hospital but she wasn’t sure if he’s there so she went to the Den instead. 

Vera was careful. She kept her distance so Randall and Gabrielle wouldn’t pick up her presence. Her heart melted when she saw Gabrielle carrying Christopher while dancing in the living room. She wanted to go there and hold him. She was not able to hold her son yet and she wants to feel him. A thought occurred to her which prevented her from doing so. What if she hurts him? What if she hurts him like she hurt his father? She is a danger to everyone around her. That is for sure. She wouldn’t do what she did to Hamish to their son. She wouldn’t allow it and yet she can’t guarantee it either. She’s on the edge after what happened. Alpha is on the edge…murderous even. They’ve both been hurt physically, emotionally and mentally. They cannot be near anyone right now or they will end up hurting them.

“Mommy cannot be there with you right now, sweetheart”, she sniffed, “Mommy needs to get herself together first. I love you…” she whispered into the air, hoping that somehow, her words will reach her son.

\---------------------------------

COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS

It is unclear how she ended up back in the woods. Last thing she recalled is that she’s outside the Den, spying on her own son. Perhaps it’s Alpha pulling her back or Alyssa. What she did not expect is seeing someone she thought was already rotting in hell.

“You look lovely as always, Vera”, Edward greeted.

“For fuck’s sake…” she sighed and started walking away from him but he continued to follow her.

“You know you really haven’t changed. You always play hard to get. I know you’re attracted to me. You admitted it yourself when you’re at my place. If that statue did not wear off, you would fuck me right then and there on my couch”, he exclaimed with smugness and delight.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Edward. You’re handsome but not that appealing. Shouldn’t you be in hell right now?” she snapped.

“Okay, seriously…stop walking”, he said and she did stop and turn to him.

They’re in a dimension where they cannot go anywhere and she’s pretty certain that he will just follow her around so might as well get on with what he wants.

“What do you want, Edward?” she asked.

“I’ve always been so fascinated by you. When you entered the Order, the world basically offered you everything and you refused them all. I sort of understand why you declined a lot of opportunities and it’s because you thought you’re dying but I was wrong. Ambition isn’t really just your thing and yet, you’re the reigning Grand Magus now, Alpha Grand Magus if I may add”, he expressed.

“What is your point?” she asked impatiently.

“My point is you don’t have a problem with power because you can handle power. I want to know why you’re still moping around, stressing yourself over the possibility of ending like the first Alpha Grand Magus when we both know it’s just not in your bones”, she frowned. “Let’s be real. Despite your kill count, your heart was able to survive and you remain a human with conscience unlike me. You’re not like me. I wish I can be like you but hey, we’re not born the same way. Why are you wasting so much energy thinking of the worst when you can take your time and enjoy happiness?” he asked.

She cannot remember the last time she had a conversation, an actual conversation with Edward. He was not always a dick and greedy back then. He used to be a nice guy when they first met. He was right too. She was attracted to him before up until power and ambition got the best of him and it became a turn off for her.

“I always prepare for the worst. It’s the only way I know how to live my life. Besides, I cannot just ignore the problem with Praxis”, she answered.

“Ah…those wannabes who think they can handle magic. You know what I would do with those little vermin”, he commented.

“As you said, we are not the same”, she reminded him.

Edward chuckled and then laughed.

“Then do it your way. You’ve always done things your way. No one succeeded in stopping you, even admitting Jack into Belgrave. You pushed that yourself and look how it turned out. He became a Knight. I died. There’s peace, or at least between Knight and the Order. Isn’t it funny that when you got all the power most people in the world desire, you started to lose your own will? You’re stubborn, Vera. Alpha is stubborn too but I am betting you can win”, he said.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you talking to me like this? I betrayed you and you died. Why are you helping me?” she asked.

He should be rooting for her downfall right now, not trying to boost her morale.

“…because I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did. I let my ambition ruined everything I hold dear. I loved my son. I loved my wife but I was willing to kill them for power. You’re not there yet. You’ll never get there but you’re willing to go so deep into darkness in order to protect your son and your wolf without care of the consequences. We have different reasons, different goals, different purpose but it will have the same outcome. I lost my son. I lost my wife. You will lose your wolf. You will lose your son and it can only be one of two ways: first, you will end up killing them; second, you will end up killing yourself…could be literally”,

He was right about option number two. She will opt for that one, distancing herself, isolating herself even until sadness just kills her.

“Stop doing it the way an Alpha Grand Magus will do things or the way Alpha will do things. Your way is just fine. Do things the Vera Stone way. It always works and I bet it will work better than using your awesome powers. Try that first and see what happens and once you’ve settled the problem with those vermin, live. Live and be a mother. You were robbed once. Don’t let this one slipped away again. Don’t become like me. Believe me, it sucks”, he finished.

It is refreshing but she understood. This is the Edward she had met all those years ago. The Edward she wished had remained. Things would’ve been different.

“You died and you suddenly became a shrink. If I have known you’ll be this nice, I should’ve killed you sooner”, she teased.

They both laughed at that.

“I don’t know how to face him out there”, she confessed once the laughter subsided.

“You did not kill him and you did not do it without reason. He’ll get over it. Those dogs are more complex than you know. If he cannot understand it, he’s a fool then”, he said.

“I guess I should go now”, he nodded. “This is nice, talking like this again. I’ve missed this, Eddie”, she muttered with a smile.

He smiled back.

“Me too. Regret is truly at the end. I wish I could’ve turn back time and be nicer to you and treated you nicely. Sorry for being an asshole and wanting to hurt you”, he apologized.

“It’s not me you should be apologizing for, Eddie”, she responded.

The former Grand Magus sighed.

“I know. Will you do me a favor when you wake up? Can you call Maddox and tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am for leaving him like this. He will not understand it right now but I hope someday he will. Also, please tell Jack that I wish we could have met under different circumstance and that I am sorry for ruining his childhood, his family”, he asked.

“I can do that. Don’t worry. I will tell them that. Thank you for boring me with your pep talk. I appreciate it”, she answered and then…

\--------------------------------

“Vera? Vera? Come on, wake up!” she heard Hamish’s voice as she comes to.

“She’s waking up”, she heard someone else said.

When she opened her eyes, she’s no longer outside. She’s inside the Den surrounded by werewolves who looked worried about her. 

“I’m sorry…” she apologized again but Hamish stopped her from going on.

“Stop. There’s nothing to say sorry for. It’s not your fault. I’ve seen what happened. I understand”, Hamish said.

Edward was wrong. Hamish is not a fool and that made her smile.

“I think I might know a way to solve our Praxis problem once and for all”, she revealed.

“Really?” Jack asked.

“Yeah and there will be no bloodshed needed as much as Alpha would want to”, she heard Alpha growled and rolled her eyes within her. “I need to do this my way this time, my true own way”, she answered.

“Well, one day at a time, my love. Right now, there’s a little buddy who’s been dying to be with you”, he said and Gabrielle handed Christopher over to Vera and she got to hold him for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i always wondered about Vera and Edward's relationship back in the day when Edward wasn't hungry for power yet and i thought that they had the kind of relationship that's almost like love and hate and they banter a lot so i threw some of that in. Vera had gone through so much and that i was leaning on having her going to depress mode, isolation and stuff but she has to breathe and so enter Edward to give her a solid example of what she's going to lose if she lets the darkness beats her. i don't know if this is angst but, i felt better with this chapter than what i initially intended to write. What do you think?


	23. Red Dress

Vera and Christopher are inseparable. They brought the baby home and Vera had not left his side. She even wakes up in the middle of the night just to watch him sleep. Hamish, of course, is aware that she does that at night. He only pretends that he’s asleep not to ruin her habit. It’s adorable. He likes seeing this version of Vera. Motherhood suits her well. She just lights up. Her mood is lighter and Alpha seems really happy too to be around Christopher. She finally gotten the maternity leave she so deserved.

On the other hand, Vera likes to watch Hamish tells random story to their son after dinner. She told him that he’s too young to understand Homer or Shakespeare but Hamish is adamant to make their son aware of arts and literature and the world so she indulged him. It became a habit of hers to watch them every night as Hamish tried to make a scholar out of their infant child. One of her habits is waking up in the middle of the night to check on Christopher. Aside from the fact that she likes watching him sleep, she is also wary. It’s been a few days of peace and she’s like waiting for another shoe to drop.

‘Why are you wasting so much energy thinking of the worst when you can take your time and enjoy happiness?’

She recalled Edward’s words during their last conversation. She wanted to take his advice and just live in the moment but it’s different when it gets dark. The night they got attacked in their own house comes back at her every single night. She fears it will happen again and her son will get harmed. Despite her numerous protections all over their home, it seems like they’re not enough. Hamish knew what she’s doing at night. She knows she’s waking him whenever she gets out of bed and she appreciates that he was not trying to stop her. It is for her own peace of mind. 

When the morning came, Hamish found Jack waiting by the living room. Vera’s protection spell only keeps out Praxis members and other strangers to the property so the Knights can freely come and go but luckily for them, they value their privacy so they make it a point to call first before dropping in to see Christopher, except if it’s emergency. It was what’s agreed upon.

“How’s Vera and Christopher?” Jack asked.

“They’re still sleeping. She’s been all night as always”, he answered.

Jack gave a worried look.

“It’s fine. She still sleeps after putting the baby to sleep. She just wakes up in the middle of the night to go check on him and then she resumed sleeping when sun is almost up. It’s her thing, making sure no one is attacking us again”, he explained.

Trauma, Jack figured. Her house is literally the most secure place in the world due to her numerous magic barriers, advanced security features he had installed. It’s basically a fortress. Plus, she and Hamish are both werewolves. Still, those aren’t enough to placate her fears. She is a mother. He can understand.

“Well, we got a lot of information from the compound and we found more bases all over Norwich. We want to know what’s our next move”, Jack reported.

Hamish and Vera hadn’t discussed it yet. He couldn’t bear to bring the subject up to her not when she’s so happy and at peace with their son. She had spent weeks, hell, months on edge and distressed. This is the only time she was able to let go a little and allow herself to be happy.

“She said she knows how to stop all of these but she has not told me yet how. I don’t want to rush her. She is so happy with Christopher”, he shared.

“I know. That’s why we were hesitant to tell you this but if we don’t move, Praxis will leave and we will have a hard time tracking them again. It may also be not a good time to mention this but, there’s another student who was mummified in campus”, Jack responded.

Hamish sighed and scratched his head.

“You found them, Mr. Morton?” Vera emerged behind Hamish.

Her hair is still disheveled, evidence of sleep. Jack tried not to comment the fact that she’s wearing one of Hamish’s shirt and his brain did not dare going to the question whether she got anything underneath that shirt because it’s just weird. Hamish noticed Jack’s discomfort and appreciate him looking away.

“Yes, Grand Magus. We found three more bases here in Norwich. They got a newly established base in D.C. It seems they are not aware yet of Greg’s death”, he answered while staring at her bookshelf.

Vera completely ignored his discomfort at her state. It is her house. She’s not going to adjust for them so she proceeded in making herself a cup of tea.

“It’s perfect then. We can all get them in one swift operation”, she muttered.

Hamish turned to her.

“What do we do?” he asked.

“Pulveris memoria”, she simply answered with confidence and easiness.

The two frowned at her as she sipped on her cup.

“It sounds promising but that thing wears off. I mean, look at us”, Jack argued.

Vera put down her cup and in a flash, a red robe is now hugging her body. 

“Those tourists are not werewolves, Mr. Morton, unless there’s another hide I’m not aware of”, Alpha answered no for the two confused Knight in front of them, “Very well…then we don’t have a problem when it comes to their resistance. Besides, we’re not going to use an ordinary pulveris memoria to them. Of course, I will tweak it a little. Make it more permanent but not too strong that will wipe their memories completely. We don’t want tons of people roaming around with a total amnesia. Although, this will need manpower to succeed. Someone has to plant filler memories in their heads to fill in the gaps on the timeline. I am guessing Praxis started last year so we will need to remove a whole year of their memories”, she explained.

Hamish couldn’t help but feel impressed by her cleverness. She was right when she said there will be violence and bloodshed. This is her move. She likes to utilize that powder as solution when other people in the Order will go for murder. It is her way to keep everyone alive while dealing with the problem. It’s what she did with them when the Council wanted them dead. She had erased their memories and ensured the Council they wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Of course, that did not last long and they caused way more problems for her to deal with.

“Manpower wouldn’t be a problem. Five of us move faster than most. We can cover a ratio of ten to fifteen people and we got disciples at our disposal who are dying for some action. I am sure they will be excited to be put on the field”, Hamish contributed.

“Yeah…our only problem is the D.C. base”, Jack muttered.

“I got it. We have chapter in D.C. I can get a word to the temple magus there and he will get it done for me”, Vera said.

They stayed silent for a few seconds as they allow things to settle. They’re really going to put an end to Praxis and this time, it will be done without having to kill anyone. It’s finally going to be over.

“I’ll see you at the temple later, Mr. Morton. I got a baby to feed. Please do tell Ms. Birch to come by today. It’s her turn to babysit”, she then said and left them.

\---------------------------------

Hamish found Vera at their bedroom deciding which dress to wear. It’s her first day returning to work after Christopher came home. She’s holding a red dress on her right hand and a black one on her left but by the looks of it, she’s seriously considering the red one.

“If you want to be able to work all day uninterrupted, go with black”, he suggested.

She looked over her shoulder and he caught the smirk on her face.

“…and if I went with red?” she challenged.

He grabbed both dresses from her hands, tossed them onto the chair and pulled her to his hard member. She hummed in approval when she felt him on her ass. His hands moved from her hips towards her belly to her breasts and cupped them firmly.

“If you wear that red dress, I will bend you over your desk and fuck you hard, you’ll have to cast some soundproofing spell in your office so no one will hear you moan”, he whispered in her ears as he pinched her nipples gently.

“Oh, god…” she breathed out.

His hands became aggressive as the other let go one of her breasts and touched her throbbing center.

“You like that? You like to be bend over your office desk and get fucked hard while your disciples are outside of your office?” he teased, discovering how wet she is.

She may not like to admit it but Hamish dominating her and making her lose her brain is one of her guilty pleasures. Being submissive is not in her nature but damn, she does not mind when it comes to Hamish. 

“It’s a nice thought but I would appreciate it very much if you can fuck me now”, she replied.

She heard him growl before he pushed her into the bed. She quickly turned around to see him almost ripping his own shirt before removing hers and yes, she does not have anything underneath his shirt she had slept in. His mouth quickly attacked her breasts as she arched her back. His hand gripping and squeezing her ass with so much force, she’s sure it’s going to bruise. 

Hamish did not waste time. He can feel her needs and his is on the same level. He freed his member and thrusts into her in one swift, forceful move that she gasped in surprise but his lips found that spot on her neck which sent her eyes rolling.

“Please, don’t stop…” she moaned.

He growled again in hunger on her plea. He inhaled her scent before pulling up so he can look into her face. She is flushed, panting, and so beautiful underneath him. Her lips is not to be ignored so he kissed her, pulled her lower lip between his teeth and bit hard enough to hear her hiss. She fought back, her tongue wrestled against his. He pulled one of her thighs and he went in deeper.

“Fuck…that’s so good…” she expressed and closed her eyes.

“Look at me”, he commanded and she obliged.

His eyes dark, filled with lust and passion. How she loves seeing those in those gorgeous blue eyes of his.

“I’m going to come”, she warned.

“That’s the goal”, he replied and picked up the unforgiving pace.

She struggled to keep her eyes open. She does not want to break contact with his eyes. She gasped and moan, almost screamed when she reached her climax. As soon as she clenched around him, he followed after her.

“I’ve been wanting to do that to you since you walked into the kitchen with nothing underneath my shirt. If it weren’t for Jack, I would’ve lifted you up on the kitchen counter already”, he said as they lie down on bed, catching their breaths.

“I know. Why do you think I walked out of there earlier with only your shirt on?” she asked and left to go and get ready inside the bathroom leaving Hamish stunned.

He chuckled and shook his head.

“I am so in love with this woman”, he muttered and then followed her into the bathroom.

\-----------------------------------

They’re all waiting at the temple for Vera. Hamish was there first as she waited on Nicole back at home to babysit on Christopher. Everyone is aware that the Grand Magus will be discussing an operation regarding the Praxis. No one has heard what happened with Greg which is good.

Hamish’s jaw almost hit the floor when Vera walks in the room. The sound of her high heels vibrating throughout the walls of the temple. She is wearing ‘that’ red dress she was pondering about earlier. Her long black hair is resting gently on her back. Her lips is covered with her favorite red lipstick. She is a stunner and he couldn’t help but lick his lips upon seeing her. Her eyes met his and he swore he saw daring look and a smirk at the corner of her lips.

“Alright, may I have your attention please?” she announced and yes, she got Hamish’s full attention alright.


	24. Office Desk

Vera began delegating orders on how they’re going to neutralize Praxis. She had divided the disciples who were going to participate with the powdering of tourist practitioners, and they will be accompanied by Medicums and Magistratus who will act as their team leaders. After she had dismissed them, she went to her office and started chanting on a large caldron filled with pulveris memoria. If they want this powder to stick, she must reinforce it to make the effect permanent. Who knows who among them had casted spell to protect their brains from a simple pulveris memoria? Salvador got that as well as Alyssa. That’s why it did not work when Vera had asked her disciple and Jack to erase her memory to give her a way out.

“Wow, that’s a lot of powder”, Randall noticed.

She rolled her eyes around and waved her hands and bunch of pouches appeared.

“Yes, so you better start filling those pouches up with pulveris memoria and be careful. You inhale that powder and you can say goodbye to your memories”, Vera said.

Randall was about to protest but Gabrielle elbowed him and handed him a face mask.

“Yes, Grand Magus”, Gabrielle answered and pulled her boyfriend out of her office.

Jack was about to follow them when Vera had closed the door with her mind and locked it. The wolf turned to her with a frown.

“I have not dismissed you, Mr. Morton”, she muttered.

He sighed and walked towards her but not close enough to invade her space.

“Yes, Grand Magus”, he said, mocking her title like he always does.

It made her pursed her lips in annoyance before clasping her hands together.

“Your father had asked me to tell you that he’s sorry and that he wished you two could have met under different circumstances, you know, during the time when he’s not chasing power around like a mad dog. He’s also sorry that he ruined your childhood”, she stated.

Jack frowned and looked alarmed at the same time.

“Wait, you talked to Coventry? How?” he asked.

“It’s hard to explain where I was but I think you will be able to understand”, she answered and stared at him.

The two of them has developed sort of psychic connection over time. Having the same background and having gone through a lot of things in life, they understood each other on some level. He knows where she’s been because he’s been there before. 

“You’ve been to Collective Consciousness”, he concluded.

“Is that what dreadful place is called? Well, yes. That’s where I’ve been with you father. I called Maddox earlier to send his apology to the boy and it’s more awkward than talking to you. Poor child”, she confirmed.

He shook his head.

“I don’t understand. Why are you doing things for him? He tried to kill you, remember? He tried to kill all of us”, he reminded her.

Edward Coventry had done a number on them and he cannot understand why Vera seemed so comfortable being his postman.

“He did help me to get my shit together even though he’s a crappy shrink. He did great talking some sense into me. I was so ready to leave after I saw what I did to Hamish and I suddenly got pulled into that dreadful place and there he was waiting for me. I am not going to elaborate what the conversation was but he helped me so I figured relaying his message to his sons will not kill anyone”, she explained.

Jack can sense that there’s a history between Vera and Edward. Of course, they had known each other for a long time. He’s pretty sure they’re not romantically involved but they’ve been friends at the very least. His father just screwed her over.

“If he’d help you, I guess he finally did something right in his life”, he muttered.

Vera smiled.

“I guess so too. Since you’re here, I should thank you for the security features in my house. Hamish said you showed them the footage from when I was attacked”, she replied.

“Oh, didn’t really much help. It was Lilith who was able to find out who really attacked you”, he noticed her face went hard, “Have you informed the Council about Greg?” he asked.

“Yes. We will have a meeting later to discuss something important. Anyway, thank you for your help”, she answered and then waved her hand and the door opened wide.

Jack chuckled and shook his head. Vera switches moods from hot to cold fast and he’s happy to see her like that again. It’s the Vera he met. He’s glad she’s back to herself. When he exited the office, he found Hamish outside.

“Something wrong?” the leader asked.

“Nah…she just relayed a message from my dead father to me and thanked me for helping rescue her. That’s all”, Jack answered.

Hamish was bothered by the mention of Edward Coventry but he did not press Jack about it. He simply nodded and went inside the office closing the door behind him and locked it from the inside.

Vera is catching up with her paperwork but she’s using magic to get through them. It’s been like that since she woke up at the Den. She’s been at peace with herself, with Alpha, but she also been quite carefree with magic. Of course, she’s no longer affected with the cancer from Fors Factoram. For years, she restrained herself from going overboard with magic to prolong her life. She did things by the book but now, there’s no need for that. He knows she’s not going over the limit but he still keeps a close eye, ready to remind her if she’ll get carried away. She was only swaying her hand, her fingers left and right and documents got read, decided, and signed fast. It was quite impressive. Being at home for weeks caused her piles of pending work, not only as Grand Magus but also as Chancellor. He understood that she must catch up.

“Are you just going to stand there and watch me drown in paperwork?” she asked without looking at him.

One piece of document fell onto the floor. Of course, he knows Vera is not clumsy enough to let that to happen. After all, she’s using magic. She could have just had it floated back to the table but no. She sighed and bent over and picked up the paper…slowly. Yes, it was deliberate. Vera always does things in purpose.

“I thought I made it clear what would happen if you wear this dress”, he muttered.

He got behind her so fast she gasped when she felt his breath on her right ear. He is gripping her waist greedily.

“Yes, you did…and the office is now soundproof”, she replied.

In his hunger, his eyes lit up in silver and flipped her around fast to attack her lips with his. Her red lipstick smeared all over their faces but they don’t care. Vera responded with equal fervor. Her waist hit the edge of her desk, making her trapped between the wooden object and Hamish’s warm body and his fully hard member. He ravished her lips, her neck. His hands mercilessly explored her chest, her breasts, before disappearing underneath her dress and she heard a sound of fabric being ripped. Her eyes opened and saw him clutching her now destroy underwear.

“I just bought that”, she hissed.

“It’s lovely, but let me make it up to you”, he replied and entered two fingers inside her all of a sudden which left her mouth open.

His thumb circled her clit as he works her expertly.

“Oh, Hamish…” she moaned as her head falls back.

She’s so wet for him and it is fueling his lust. He wanted to take all of her, everything. Just when she’s about to break, Hamish pulled his expert fingers out and she groaned in protest. He cleaned up her desk and worked her again this time with his mouth. Her hands clutching his hair. She’s dripping all over her desk. Then…he stopped again just when she’s almost there.

“Fuck, Hamish. If you do that again, I will finish it myself”, she complained.

She is so desperate to reach her climax but he keeps on leaving her hanging. He wants to prolong it, keeps her coming for more. He wants to hear how much she wants it.

“Turn around”, he ordered with a low growl under his breath.

Her heart beats faster. Too some, this side of Hamish with his eyes silver and growl coming out involuntarily from his mouth is scary but it’s such a turn on for her. 

Hamish hiked her dress up her waist and coat her fully with her own wetness before coating himself. Vera is dying of anticipation. He surely is taking his time and it’s torture for her. When he thrusts into her, it was painfully slow.

“Harder”, she found herself requesting.

She needs to come. Her hand is itching to bring herself to that much awaited climax he’s depriving her and then he started picking up the pace. He was not kidding when he told her that he’s going to fuck her hard. He slammed into her as she slammed into the desk. The mixture of pain and pleasure is driving her crazy. She must have been moaning and screaming because she felt his hand took a fistful of her hair and went faster and harder. Finally, she came.

The thing is, it’s not over. Hamish did not allow her to come down from the high. She’s still shaking when he flipped her over and entered her again. His stamina is astonishing. She’s still sensitive but it only adds to the overwhelming sensation. His eyes are still silver and the sound he’s making is animalistic. She tried to touch his face but his hands caught hers fast and pinned them above her head. 

Vera stiffened. Suddenly, the mood shifted at least for her. Her eyes stared at Hamish and she no longer feels into what they’re doing. She tried to pull her hands back but he’s pressing onto them. In panic, her eyes turned red, freed herself from his grasps and pushed him away so hard, he hit the bookshelf.

Hamish, snapped out of his lust and passion-driven conquest, stared back at her with wide eyes. His own are no longer silver. He saw her looking back at her with shock and fury. Her red eyes matching her dress and lips. 

“Vera…hey, I’m sorry. I did not mean to go too rough”, he quickly apologized.

It was not that. She had always been into rough sex. It was established from the start of their relationship so it’s not an issue. It was when he pinned her arms up that it all changed. Her brain was transported to the time she was cuffed to that stirrup. She wanted to tell herself that she’s not there anymore. It’s over but when she saw Hamish, she couldn’t help but see what he looked like when he was strangling her. Of course, it was not him but it was his face. It was his eyes. When she failed to pull her hands back, she felt that powerlessness she felt in that room surrounded by Praxis and Greg. She couldn’t free herself. Alpha couldn’t free her…and so, she panicked.

It took her a few seconds to gather herself and saw how far she had pushed Hamish. There were books scattered on the floor and a row of the shelf has been broken. She pushed him that hard. Now, she’s reminded that time she attacked him and hurt him bad. Guilt filled her up. The red from her eyes disappeared and her claws returned to being nails.

Hamish was quick to realize what’s happening. He went to her side fast and before she can crawl into the deep corner of her mind and shut him out, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He needs to ground her, let her know it’s alright. He should have known that what happened in that compound will take a toll on her. It took some time to manifest or it’s just that she’s too good in hiding it. Either way, he had pressed a trigger and she had a reaction.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m sorry. I should have known better. I am sorry”, he whispered gently.

“I hurt you…again. I hurt you again”, she expressed, almost like a ghostly whisper.

He ran his hand over her head and fixed her hair.

“No, you did not. You can never hurt me, my love…never”, he reassured her.

She sobbed on his chest and allowed him to keep her attached to reality. It’s all in the past, she tries to tell herself. It’s all over. This is now. This is present.

“Thank you”, she muttered.


	25. Reform

After that event in Vera’s office, Hamish decided to keep inventory of her triggers. She disliked being unable to move her arms. It reminds her of being cuffed and drugged. He can pin her against the wall but not too long because that reminds her of being strangled against her kitchen wall by Greg who disguised himself as him. Any loud noise that erupts when Christopher’s around is an alarm for her. It sends her on Alpha mode and her eyes involuntarily turns red. He has to disable the alarm of their cars whenever they’re both at home so it wouldn’t cause her to attack the cars.

The operation against Praxis was successful. With a single blow of pulveris memoria and implanted false memories from them, Praxis is no more. They had checked. Vera had assigned disciples to monitor the members and after a full week of intense surveillance, none of them remember anything about magic. They all went back to their lives. The eruption has stopped and the threat is now eliminated.

It was hard for Vera to be back in her office after what happened the last time. She initiated to be intimate with Hamish in her office by wearing that red dress and she botched it. She felt trapped and she panicked and she sent him flying against her bookshelf. Of course, he assured her that it’s fine but she still felt bad about it. Ever since she became a werewolf, her temper was cut in half. Small things can send her to panic and it takes her awhile to come down from it. Hamish has been very patient with her. She’s impossible to be around with when she’s having a panic attack and very dangerous to be around with.

At night, she decided to throw a party to celebrate their victory against Praxis. Everyone is having a good time even the Knights. The atmosphere is light and peaceful. Everyone is friendly. How long has it been since the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose has been like this? She cannot remember. Too long maybe is the answer. She honestly did not think that she will live to see this day. Vera caught all of their attention with the sound of her glass and a fork colliding together.

“I have an announcement to make. It is something that has been discussed thoroughly and I want to be the one to relay it to you. From now on, there will be a huge shake up with the Gnostic Council and all of the councilors will now be consist of Temple Magus from each chapter of the Order around the world. It is important that all of our chapters got a representative at the table so their needs can be heard. Our tradition of politics, to appoint someone based on their family name is no longer tolerable. The Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose is more than establishing public figures, celebrities, and businessmen. As you’ve recently experienced, we are the custodians of magic. We protect magic and we ensure that the next generation that will come are those worthy of the duty and responsibility we have. It is a big change. I know. But being a practitioner is not a game or a past time or a hobby. Being a practitioner means you’re putting your life at risk for magic, for peace. It is no joke and if you’re only here because it is cool and your family wants you to be here, the door is wide open”,

No one dared moving from their spots.

“I came from nothing. I don’t have family legacy or rich parents. They did not even know about the Order. I got into university because of scholarship. We used to select neophytes based on their statuses. No more. From now on, we choose our members based on their skills, characteristics, abilities, intelligence and most importantly, heart. So, I thought I should start with the council. It has to start from higher up. It’s time we start an era of practitioners who are deserving of being called one”,

The Knights looked at her with immense feeling of proud. She truly is different from the rest. Vera raised her glass and the rest followed.

“…to the new Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose”, she proposed.

“…to the new Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose!” the rest followed.

\-----------------------------------

The change enforced by Vera took effect right away and everyone can feel the shift and it’s a feeling of positivity. The rest of the Order took her move to appoint all Temple Magus from each chapter as members of the Gnostic Council. That way, all chapters felt valued by their Grand Magus. They conduct weekly meetings so everyone can raise their concerns if they have one and consult Vera for actions. She can also monitor every chapter in that way without making an effort to visit them. The selection for neophytes all over the world has been one of their task too and true to her word, they laid out the criteria based on their achievements, personalities, abilities, talents, intelligence, and heart. It is only a plus if they come from a well-off family but that’s not important for Vera.

Of course, some of the families in the Order who had been considered as the ‘legacies’ reacted badly about the reform. They tried to work their politics against Vera but because all of the chapters agreed with her way, they did not win. 

The Knights was officially proclaimed as the Knights of the Blue Rose as what they were originally named when the Order was formed. Everyone was made aware of the history and they learned to accept the werewolves as part of the organization. It made them special as they’re the only magical organization in the world to have werewolves on their side. The new Council agreed to that point as well. Besides, the wolves had been there long before they have. Everyone recognized that fact.

Five months since Christopher came home and a lot has changed. Hamish was in awe how Vera balances her time between the university, the Order, and being a mother to their son. Christopher is almost mobile. He can sit right up for a few seconds on his own and he can roll on his tummy. Despite loving teaching on campus, he cannot wait for it to be over so he can come home and spend time with his son. He loves watching and making him smile. When Vera gets home from work, she’ll join them first in the nursery and play with them. They take charge on his nutrition and sleeping hours. They built a system.

“I am ready to shut down, literally”, she exhaled as she got to bed after cleaning herself at the bathroom.

She just spent the entire day working on campus and attended a three-hour long meeting at the temple. Managing two large societies is not as easy as it looks. She tries to make it look so easy but it’s just not. Add a baby on top of that and it’s all too much. Thank goodness for her werewolf strength or she would have collapsed some time ago.

“Come here”, he said and she went close.

He put his hands over her shoulders and started massaging her sore muscles.

“Wow…don’t you stop, mister, or you’ll get in trouble”, she muttered with her eyes closed.

Hamish laughed. She always threatens him when he’s giving her massages. 

“You know I only plan to stop when you tell me to”, he replied.

“Can I tell you something instead?” 

“Of course”, 

“I have this feeling in my gut I cannot shake. Alpha is feeling it too. It’s like everything is going so well right now. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop”, she confessed.

He understands the feeling. He feels it too. After everything they went through, it’s unbelievable that they got the peace they want. It’s almost too good to be true.

“You’re not the only one but we cannot pause our lives because we feel like the world is going to go down any minute. I think it’s a way for us to be motivated, you know. Instead of fearing, we should seize the moment. Cherish everything. One thing is constant in this world. Nothing lasts forever. We better make memories that will last a lifetime”, he said.

She pulled away from him and turned to him. Her eyes are met by his smile.

“One step at a time”, she muttered.

“One step at a time”, he affirmed.

She smiled back.

“I wonder what I ever do to deserve you”, she said out loud.

It’s meant to be a thought in her head.

“…because you’re amazing. I mean, I can go on and on about the reasons why you deserve to be happy but if you think you’re the lucky one, you’re wrong. I am the lucky one because you can have anyone else in the world and you risked everything for a werewolf like me”, he countered.

Vera had succumbed to sleep fast after their conversation. It bothers Hamish to a degree that Vera still feels uneasy about their lives. Of course, it is understandable given what she went through, what they all went through but he also learned to trust their instincts. 

“No”, she muttered in her sleep.

He is also used to her having nightmares every single night. Who wouldn’t? She tells him it is a constant, that she considers herself lucky if she was able to sleep at night without one. Most of the times, her nightmares are manageable. She talked a little, tossed a little and then she’ll be able to wake herself up and go back to sleep like nothing happened. Some nights are not like that. Some nights, the nightmares come and hit her hard. When those nights come, he learned to keep his distance for a moment after he wakes her so he can preserve his life. She and Alpha are a bit disoriented after a very violent nightmare and anything or anyone close to them when they open their eyes, well, he does not want to find out. It is one of those night. 

“Vera, wake up”, he whispered and shook her a little before jumping out of bed fast.

She opened her red eyes with a growl, claws came out of her fingers as she sat right up, gasping for air. Her forehead and neck are covered in sweat. Her eyes darted left and right, searching for threat when they landed on Hamish who is standing on the left side of the room, he raised his hands.

“It’s just me, my love”, he muttered.

With that, she relaxes. She returned to normal with Alpha backing down. It’s safe now for him to return to bed. He had turned on the lights so he can see her better. 

“Did I hurt you?” is her first question. It’s always her first question.

“No, my love. You did not”, he answered with a gentle smile as he removed her hair that got stuck on her neck.

“Alright…go back to sleep. I’ll just go check on Chris”, she replied and left.

He knows why. The nightmare is about their son…again. She had told him about it the first time she had it and it took her a while to get over the nightmare. It became a tell-tale that whenever she had a nightmare about their son, she would go to his room right away to check on him, make sure he’s still there and safe. He also knows that he is close to six months and Vera is becoming anxious about it because she lost her daughter at the sixth month. Perhaps, the nightmare is brought on by fear. She fears that their son will suffer the same fate as her daughter. He did not dare voice it out. When it comes to her daughter, he knows well enough to leave that alone. It’s too sensitive for her and they only talk about it when she brought it up first. 

Hamish was about to go back to sleep as he was instructed when the extreme ringing hit his ears.

“Shit”, he muttered.

It did not take long before he heard Vera on the nursery room groaning about it too. He struggled to get out of bed and get to her. When he got to the nursery, he saw a protective shield is up around Christopher’s crib while Vera is on the floor with both hands covering her ears.

“Are you alright?” he asked while yelling.

It’s not noisy but to them, it’s like they’re in the middle of a rave and they cannot hear anything other than the ringing.

“What is happening?” she yelled back.

He figured the reason why there’s a protective barrier around Christopher. Aside from danger, it’s for the ringing. They’re not sure whether their son will turn out to be a werewolf too but if he is, then the ringing will affect him and Vera wouldn’t want anything to disturb his sleep and destroy their son’s eardrums.

“I don’t know but I think someone’s using magic”, he answered.

The last thing he saw was a very frustrated Vera as she morphed and transformed into Alpha, completely disregarding her silk nightgown and ran off to chase wherever the ringing was coming from. He wanted to join her but he cannot leave their son alone so he stayed beside his crib, fighting the pain, while worrying for Vera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i am thinking about continuing this fic or moving on to the next. Praxis problem has been dealt with and they're safe...i got one more obstacles for them and after that, i think i can give vermish a break. I already put them through so much hell...A
> 
> Any thoughts on Vera's reform of the Order?


End file.
